12 Days of Inspiration ~ A Joyous Balanced Life!
Day 8 ~ Establishing Kind Boundaries and Sticking to Them
Establishing boundaries is sometimes hard. Some people look at boundaries as being mean or a punishment. Kind people sometimes find it very hard to talk about how they want to be treated or even when they feel someone is taking advantage of them.
Today, is about establishing boundaries, still being a kind person and sticking to those boundaries which were created.
In your life right now, what are some behaviors that you feel someone has crossed the line with you?
- A roommate who hasn’t paid their share of the rent.
- A friend or family member who borrows money and hasn’t paid it back.
- Someone borrows your things and doesn’t return them.
- A colleague not doing their fair share of the workload.
- A family member who is constantly dropping off their children for you to watch while they go out and party.
- Family showing up at your house without calling, wants to stay for the weekend and wants you to entertain them, when you already had plans for the weekend.
- A child demanding you buy them something you can’t afford.
- A spouse/partner not following through on a promise and ditches you to go out with friends instead.
- The list could go on and on………..
Has any of these circumstances above happened to you? Are they still happening?
Do you want to tell the person to stop, but don’t have the courage because you are afraid of losing the friendship or hurting the person feelings?
What is this doing to you?
How do you start a discussion with someone who has crossed the line or is taking advantage of you?
- Explain the situation in a calm way.
- Ask for what you want and for the behavior to stop.
- Ask for repayment and/or returning items with a deadline date.
- Get a commitment that the behavior will stop.
By letting the behavior continue, it becomes a habit, and the person will expect you to continue to give to them and the bad behavior will keep happening. When boundaries are clear and followed, both people have a sense of what is appropriate and mutual respect is established within the relationship.
Comments are always welcome, please feel free to share your thoughts about establishing kind boundaries and keeping to them.
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