In today’s podcast episode, we will be exploring the technique of journaling in the workplace as a manager and supervisor and how it may help keep you in the proper perspective during challenging situations.
Journaling may work out specific problems, generate ideas, and brainstorm. Writing down thoughts, ideas, and emotions can help release tension and encourage creative thinking. This writing can help develop new ideas for products and services and improve customer service techniques. Focusing on the concept, process, or development through journaling may challenge you to discover creative solutions.
What happens if you react right now or at this moment?
What will happen if you decide not to respond?
What are the benefits of walking away and taking time to reflect before handling the situation?
How can you handle this situation calmly?
How will you overcome obstacles in the way?
After you have time to reflect, how will you respond?
What are your action steps now?
Did you find this helpful? If so, please share this podcast with others!
Today’s podcast Affirmation: I journal to make good decisions!
In this podcast episode, we will explore the feeling of being unheard and underappreciated at work?
This topic is for anyone who feels that they are not recognized or appreciated. As a manager and supervisor, this is a daily occurrence stuck in the middle between top management and employees and getting crap from both sides. So every day, you push down resentment, disappointment, words, anger, and chaos within yourself and others.
One of these days, it will bubble over, and the dragon will explode with harsh words and actions.
You are to pretend everything is great when you don’t believe it yourself in the decisions made from above, but you have to enforce and ensure it is completed and done that way. You have to convince employees to change how they do things when they disagree and don’t want to.
When you speak up with your concerns, you are ignored and labeled as trouble-makers or uncooperative. The yes people promote and get recognition for your work. You are the doer and get things done but not acknowledged for all your accomplishments.
Your boss has promised you a promotion numerous times, but it doesn’t happen, and eventually, a yes person gets the position and over you.
How heartbreaking is that?
You’re so good at your job your boss doesn’t want you to move up they keep you stuck in a dead-end job or career.
Being ethical may get you passed over for a promotion.
Why is that?
Do employers want honorable people or not?
Isn’t it better to be an honest person than not?
I’m lost for words because this is really happening, people.
Keeping your mouth shut is expected, and nodding your head in agreement is the norm instead of working together to make things better and sharing ideas and processes to streamline.
Keeping mouths shut and agreeing is causing chaos, resentment, overload, anxiety, and burnout in the workplace because things aren’t getting done correctly and efficiently.
How can this change?
How many of you out there has a boss you can sit down with and say; this isn’t working; the staff is frustrated and on overload? If you do. Show some appreciation to them every once in a while. They need encouragement to keep pushing on with a thankless job. These people want to make a difference and want to do what is right, and they do open their mouths and disagree at times, even when rejected and not appreciated.
When people feel appreciated, heard, and can express their ideas, they might go the extra mile to speak up and change the environment from chaos to calm.
Starting 2022, we wanted to wish you a beautiful year of love and connection in your relationships. So today, we are talking about the Building Better Relationships Journal and Meditation that we have crafted as a self-directed coaching tool to help you attract better relationships, learn how to accept yourself, and build trust in your wisdom.
We want to help our listeners in their relationships throughout the year and outside of the podcast. So we created a relationship journal and meditation.
Do you ever wonder why we ask questions during our podcasts?
The secret to building better relationships does not lie in our tips and strategies alone. So we ask questions in the podcasts to dive into your inner wisdom and your unique perception and experience of your relationships.
Every individual is unique. As coaches, our job is to help you understand HOW you are unique and different from others – what we might call your strengths, gifts, and qualities and how to best use these gifts to strengthen your ability to relate and build meaning in your life and relationships.
While others can give you valuable feedback on your relationships, suppose you don’t understand your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about relationships. In that case, you won’t be able to be strong in your relationships – and you fall into the habits of pleasing people, having weak or no boundaries and being afraid of conflict, and not speaking up and avoiding people or relationships.
Right now, we know many people are struggling with relationships. The spectrum of problems ranges from isolation, social anxiety, and feeling unloved to unsatisfying relationships to relationships full of conflict and even abuse.
Patti and Angela started this podcast before the pandemic because, as a leader in the workplace, Patti saw people being taken advantage of and companies not appreciating employees.
As a teacher of love and relationships, Angela saw that people weren’t interested in looking at themselves and seemed to have lost the ability to find love because they didn’t know how to love or accept themselves.
We saw how more and more people at work and in society were becoming inconsiderate, lacking empathy, and just lost.
At the beginning of 2022, Angela sees people valuing relationships but is not sure how to make those relationships better either because they are uncertain about the future of the world and their lives and jobs or are limited in how they think about themselves.
The power in a journal with meditation you can write from the journal. The energy of the meditation works to build your trust in your wisdom and knowledge and is one of the essential pieces of working with a coach through powerful self-reflection questions within the journal and meditation.
In this podcast episode, I will be discussing the technique of pausing before reacting or responding as a Manager or Supervisor.
Have you ever responded from a knee-jerk reaction and wished you hadn’t?
Have you considered stopping, pausing, and reflecting before reacting as a manager and supervisor when in the middle of chaos?
I know this can be difficult at times, especially when in the middle of a crisis. However, in leadership, we’re geared to resolve the problem as quickly as possible.
When taking a pause and time to reflect, we won’t jump immediately to the wrong conclusion or react unfavorably or lash out.
Many times in my career, I didn’t pause and reflect before responding, and I regretted it because it went from calm to chaos by my knee-jerk reaction.
Have you done that as well?
Think about all the times you reacted harshly or over the top.
How did that work for you?
Probably not good for you looking like an ass or for the person or people around you.
Do you wish you could go back in time and change your response?
Using the pause, reflecting before responding can help you not regret your reaction if used at that moment.
When at work and someone is rude to you and disagrees. Pause for three to five seconds before responding. Pausing will allow you time to reframe your response or decide not to react and change the situation from the emotions of chaos to calm.
Have you ever received an email at work that put you into a rage?
Pause, Reflect and Don’t send the email response right away. You may regret it and could damage your career or reputation!
I think everyone has sent an email they regretted sending or replying some time or another.
What if you do receive a nasty passive/aggressive email?
Before responding to the email:
Write out your reply.
Please don’t send it and walk away. If possible, sleep on it.
Rewrite the email response when you have calmed down.
Have someone else read it to help tone down the language before hitting the send button.
Here’s A Quote To Remember: “Anger doesn’t solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything”. – author unknown
Don’t get me wrong, as a manager or supervisor. You have to be direct with employees to inspire them to improve their work performance. We can’t ignore the situation and let it continue.
Have a plan on how to address it.
Write it out and practice what and how to say it.
There are also times when you need to respond immediately and make a quick decision. When possible, take the opportunity to pause and reflect.
What is happening around you?
It may change your approach and captivate a great solution.
How can you practice pausing and reflecting into your leadership routine and have it become a habit?
Here are some Self Reflection Questions to Ponder or Journal about:
What are your thoughts about pausing and reflecting?
How will you incorporate it into your leadership style?
Today’s podcast Affirmation ~ I pause and reflect before responding!
Did you find this helpful? If so, please share this podcast with others!
Until next we meet again! ~ Patti
Coffee with Patti – is a beautiful way to express your appreciation and support.
If you would like to work with me for coaching services, click the “Schedule Now” button below.
In this podcast episode, I will be discussing hiring staff and why it is not a good idea to hire someone with the Management Philosophy – If You’ve Got A Pulse – You’ve Got The Job!
I was at an appointment almost a year ago, and the doctor told me that they were desperate to hire someone quickly. She said if they got a pulse, they got the job. We both laughed. She said we need another body in here as soon as possible. I responded, Sometimes, that doesn’t always work out because they may not be the right fit or have a good work ethic. The funny thing is my husband was talking to me a couple of months before that and suggested that I should write a blog post for “You’ve Got A Pulse, You Got the Job!”
I guess God and the universe were telling me it was time to discuss this topic. So I did write a blog post about this topic back then, and I wanted to share it on the podcast because, as a manager or supervisor, I feel this is not a good leadership practice.
Filling a chair or position to have a body in it is not a very good idea. When hiring managers don’t spend the time to make sure the candidate is someone qualified and will connect well with staff and customers in the long run, it will cause more anguish for everyone involved. Why is that?
One person’s bad attitude, incompetency, or lack of motivation can destroy the work environment.
Yes, I understand that some companies are understaffed and need people immediately because of high turnover, high caseload, or staffing ratio to the patients, or security and safety reasons and with the Great Resignation happening. However, look at the time and expense of training someone; you will eventually have to let go, or worse, keep someone that is incompetent or a kick-starter to the other employees and customers and causes complete chaos in the workplace.
Lowering the hiring standards is not the answer!
Take some time in the hiring process to get to know the candidate. Then, review the resume and job application.
Does this person change jobs every few months? If so, why? Are they promoting or some other reason listed? If not listed, ask the candidate.
What kind of positions have they done in the past? Is it equal to the job qualifications?
Have specific questions about the job in the interview for the candidate to answer. Were the answers clear and concise, and right?
After the interview, call the candidate’s references. Have specific questions about attendance, team player, customer service, and work performance.
If references check out with positive recommendations to the questions answered, ask the candidate to come back and meet your staff if this is allowable in your company.
Have the candidate engage with the team and see what the job duties entail.
Remember, the employees have a vested interest because they have to work with this person. If you have an open, honest relationship with your employees, they will give you their opinion. Ultimately you have the final answer on who to hire and who not to hire.
Spending a little time checking out the candidate may save you, your staff, and customers frustration and protect the company’s bottom-line on training and hiring the wrong person.
Here are some Self Reflection Questions to Ponder or Journal about:
What have been my hiring experiences in the past?
What worked well and what didn’t?
What suggestions from this podcast will I incorporate into my hiring process?
This podcast episode looks at our beliefs about life and work and invites you to consider how things should be about work and life choices. To listen to the podcast click here.
Do you find yourself challenged by the pandemic and questioning everything?
Do you live in regret?
What to consider before joining the Great Resignation:
Reflect on when you first started at your current position.
What attracted you to the job in the first place?
What did you like about the job?
What has changed?
What would make your job more enjoyable?
What do you truly want in a career?
Should I stay at my current employment or move on?
Self-reflect or journal about what you want in life.
What’s keeping me here?
Are there other options?
If, so what are they?
What did your answers tell you?
Think about why I am staying in a job that you dislike. Is there something better for me what”lights me up”?
Before joining the great resignation, come up with a solid exit plan. Then, whatever decision you make to either stay or go, focus on what kind of trade or career you want and prepare yourself for that.
We often complain about something before we leave it. We make something bad, like a job, boss, or relationship, but actually, what is awful is teaching you something about yourself and the original attraction to the job. Touches your dreams and beliefs of how things should be, and if you follow those questions which we’ll have in the show notes – you can discover what you have been avoiding or conditioning in your dream to live the life you want.
We know we gave you a lot to think about and would love to hear about your beliefs and move past them without any regrets.
Angela’s recommendation of the book – For I Am John: Channelled Paperback – by Helen Barton (Author) DISCLOSURE: Please be aware that we shared an affiliate link in this post. Please know that we only share products or services that we have used and found great value.
In this podcast episode, Patti discusses interaction with unprofessional people.
Sometimes in our careers, we have all worked with someone unprofessional. They may come across like they don’t care, don’t even know how to behave in a professional setting, or even realize their behavior is unprofessional.
How do most people usually respond? Avoidance! They would rather avoid the situation instead of addressing the unprofessionalism.
Because it is uncomfortable. Whether new or experienced, many managers and supervisors shy away from confrontation, thinking that the behavior will go away or disappear. However, in most cases, the behavior gets worse when it’s not dealt with and continues.Is there a way to help or mentor them?
Yes, of course, there is, by addressing the behavior. However, people can’t change if they don’t know their behavior is displeasing.
Calmly explain to the unprofessional person how to be treated with respect. Give some examples of what is respectful and courteous.
Here are some Self Reflections to Ponder or Journal about:
1. What were some of your experiences dealing with unprofessionalism?
Have you ever had something to do at work, and you didn’t want to do it?
There are things as a manager or supervisor you don’t want to do, but it is an essential part of the job. You know what I mean, and not addressing it can cause more havoc in the workplace.
Let me give you some examples:
Not having crucial conversations with an employee about poor performance
Prolonging a discussion with the team about not making goals
An email you are told to write by your boss
Calling back an angry customer or client
Not participating or wanting to go to mandatory leadership meetings
Delivering bad news, for example, no bonus, no raises, or possible layoffs within the company
I am sure all of us at one time or another has put something off that might be uncomfortable or didn’t want to do but was loading us down with it continually there, whether in worry, thought, or others depending on it.
Wouldn’t it make life and work more enjoyable if it was no longer in front of us but completed?
Getting it completed takes off a heavy burden, and then you can focus on the other things you want to do.
One of the ways to tackle the hard stuff is to do it first thing in the morning and get it out of the way. If it is a massive project, break it down into tasks. Then, as you complete a portion of the project, you will feel like you are moving forward on getting it done. Checking that section off your to-do list, spreadsheet, or Trello board feels like an achievement and inspiration.
Putting off the hard stuff or undesirable tasks doesn’t contribute to becoming successful. However, once finished, you can move on to more enjoyable tasks and have a great sense of accomplishment.
How to Break Free of Ignoring the Hard Stuff:
Identify it is happening and
Recognize it and decide to
Focus on the task until completed
Celebrate when finished
Take control of all distractions such as responding immediately to email notifications, incoming voice mail messages, texts, instant messages, social media notifications. Set specific times and limits for these activities. Block off your calendar for the task. Concentrate by tuning out or turning off all distractions and commit to that particular task.
If working in the office, let others know you are working on something with a deadline or need to finish with no distractions if they could wait on questions. By blocking the time on your digital calendar can help with limiting distractions.
Halt any negative self-talk and replace these thoughts with positive Affirmations. An example – I get things done! By telling yourself, I can do this, and pray for strength to continue and remove all obstacles in the way; it will inspire you to keep going. There were many times I would be sitting at my desk and thinking I can’t do this, and I would pray, journal, and recite positive affirmations to get me through the task, situation, or sh*t storm happening around me.
Envision how you will feel after completing the project. Then, celebrate; it doesn’t have to be something big or expensive. It could be getting a cup of your favorite coffee or taking a break to read a good book, something special to you that feels like a reward.
Sometimes getting started is the hardest, but the rewards are endless. Setting your goal, coming up with a plan of action, and the most important thing is putting the plan into action. Getting started and motivated to take action steps is crucial to change the habit of ignoring the hard stuff. However, it doesn’t help you attain your goal or dream until you get it done. To get what you want, you have to pursue it, and it starts with motivation to want to get things done.
Here are some Self Reflections to ponder:
What are some key factors which are enabling you to put off the hard stuff?
What have you been putting off?
How will it change your circumstances by getting them completed?
In this podcast, we’re going to look at money anxiety. Angela shares some thoughts about the new economy based on sharing and caring about yourself and others which can help relieve tension and look at money from a collaborative and self-value-affirming perspective.
During the pandemic, many of us stopped work, school, living the way we lived. Discovered many activities at home, which were things we used to do before life got busy, such as cooking, baking, making craft, making music, art, home-based exercise, journaling, talking to people, playing cards, etc. And many people realized they were working and living in a way they didn’t like.
Angela talked about The Stanford Social Innovation Review (SSIR) has an article on The Vision of a Well-Being Economy, which shares how “We must shift how we understand and build societal health and prosperity, looking beyond economic growth to collective well-being and environmental sustainability.”
Patti discussed – When negative thoughts or emotions enter your mind, you can allow them and redirect them. The trouble with worrying about money and work can consume you, but having strategies can relieve the anxiety.
Spend some time in meditation to calm your thoughts.
Listen to upbeat music to manage anxiety and manifest money.
Pray about the situation for guidance and peace. Journal about the problem which is causing the worry.
Go for a walk, the gym, bicycle ride, yoga or fitness classes or any type of exercise.
Repeat positive affirmations.
Hire a financial coach to help develop a healthy money mindset and reasonable financial goals.
Angela shares about Sondra Ray and Leonard Orr’s book Rebirthing in the New Age. It is hard to get a copy of it now.
DISCLOSURE: Please be aware that Angela and Patti may be sharing affiliate links in this podcast/post. Please know that we only ever share products and services that we use or have used ourselves and found great value.
My journal is what I want it to be, what I need it to be, each time I open it and put my pen to the page. This is what a journal is meant to be. ~ Plynn Gutman, Your Journal Companion 365 Writing Prompts to Heighten Awareness of Self and Others
(Patti) Plynn makes the journaling process easy with an entire year’s worth of thought-provoking writing prompts. She explains the emotional and physiological benefits of personal writing gives instruction on several powerful writing techniques and offers tips on “how, where, and when” to start the process.
(Patti) In that presentation, Plynn made journaling fun, easy, and relaxing. We did a few different journaling techniques with her, and I have been hooked on journaling ever since.
(Angela) I started journaling when I was 12 yrs old. At an age where I had very raw feelings, I discovered that I couldn’t put them anywhere; I could put them in my journal. This was in the 80s. For some reason, at school, my teacher had introduced that concept of a journal instead of a diary. And she taught us that a journal was where you could explore writing, but not writing for others, writing for yourself. And being a socially awkward kid who felt I didn’t belong, I found it the perfect place to write my feelings. I also felt my English teacher – Mrs. Casey, was permitting me to dispose of feelings that I didn’t want to share publicly.
(Angela) Later on, Mrs. Casey read our journals, which were part of our English work, and I wasn’t afraid of her reading my journal. And her encouragement to keep writing was key to me continuing the process of having a private space to dive into myself, my feelings, my creative thoughts, ideas, and the not so great stuff too, or my shadow. I always remember that time at school as a clear moment my teacher was giving me a way out of feeling uncomfortable in myself, and gently encouraged me to write out my feelings so that they had a safe space to be heard.
(Angela) After Mrs. Casey read my first journal, I kept my journals private, and they have been a constant resource for me to write my thoughts, ideas, and later in life, my realizations from my soul and my meditation practice.
(Angela) I often wonder what would have happened if I didn’t have that first year of writing encouraged by a teacher. Would I have written anyway? I don’t know.
(Angela) I do know that the habit of using a journal started very young for me and has saved my relationships by giving me a space to write my feelings, see my feelings and not project my feelings on others because my priority of journaling gave me the habit of writing my feelings in an attempt to externalize them, to try to understand them and this developed to a deeper level the most important relationship, the relationship with myself by writing my feelings and reading them, and developing an ongoing relationship with myself so that I could understand my feelings.
(Angela) To this day – I can go back and read some of the old journals, and still discover things about myself. Some things have stayed constant over time, and some things have changed so significantly, and that has helped me learn the power of recording and watching my journey in life through journaling.
(Patti) When I was probably about 9 to 10 years old, my Mom or Grandmother gave me a diary that had a lock and key. I wonder what happened to it. It would have been fun to read what I wrote in it today.
(Angela) Patti – I have a question: When you discovered the power of journaling with Plynn – How did you start using it in your life and relationships?
(Patti) Great question Angela, journaling was new to me. It opened up so many things for me. Instead of verbally sharing my feelings and emotions on someone else I started using journaling. This helped me not project my anger or judgment on others. Plynn’s book and app have daily journaling prompts, which helped me get into the habit of journaling. She made it easy to want to journal. Then I moved on to journaling on my own. When upset or needed to brain dump or brainstorm for solutions to problems, I would journal whether in a relationship or feelings that needed to be released. These are private thoughts that I was feeling at that moment. Sometimes I would burn or shred what I wrote. I also keep an idea journal, career journal, and a scattered journal. A scatter journal is a journal that I put random thoughts in. My made-up word for the scattered journal. I watched a documentary that Agatha Christie would write down ideas all over the place in journals.
(Patti) What are some of the biggest challenges in starting to journal?
Or not knowing how?
(Patti) Choose a time to journal daily. It can be when you get up in the morning, on your lunchtime, or before going to sleep. You may want to use journaling prompts or self-reflect about your day. Journaling can open up your mind to change and inspire you to pursue your dreams, aspirations, and goals. It allows you to alter your thoughts, which block you. Find someplace peaceful, quiet that you can think and write.
(Patti) When the weather’s nice, I like to journal outside on my patio. Some of my best journaling experiences are when on vacation or camping. Being outdoors is very refreshing. Schedule journaling time and be consistent. You can journal anywhere.
Some of my best journaling experiences are when on vacation or camping. Being outdoors is very refreshing. Schedule journaling time and be consistent. You can journal anywhere. ~ Patti Oskvarek, Leadership and Work-Life Balance Coach
(Patti) What do you need for journaling?
Pen and Paper or
A notebook or journal or
There are journal apps or
Journaling Prompts on Pinterest, Writing Coaches Websites, etc.
(Angela) Tip: You can choose a time of day that suits your journal’s focus and the best way to maximize your consciousness.
(Angela) The morning is good for setting your intent and energy for the day.
(Angela) The night before sleep is good for reviewing problems, patterns, and whether you achieved your goal for the day, or if you set an intention for your relationships to be calm in the morning, in the evening, you can review – How did this go?
(Angela) I sometimes set myself a journal exercise, for example at noon to review my feelings, so I set the alarm and check in with my feelings at noon and write.
(Angela) What time of day do you naturally feel like looking inward? If you don’t have a habit of looking inward, you can start by setting a time to focus on one question. Write on it – and then after one week of journaling, ask yourself, was this the best time for me to journal? If not, ask yourself what a better time to journal is. Sometimes we create obstacles to journaling because you’re trying to write at the wrong time of day that is the best time of day to connect with yourself and your intuition. I have clients who have resistance to journaling, and sometimes it’s because they are writing at the wrong time of the day or week.
(Angela) If you are not really convinced that journaling can change you in a way that brings outer world success, you can measure this success. When you journal over time, you can watch the change in your connection to your inner world, which changes the way you act or behave in your relationships.
(Angela) Journaling over a period of time with gradual and consistent practice brings deep change. It’s like water dripping on a rock over time. You get this beautiful shape formed by the water constantly moving through the rock.
(Angela) Patti has some specific questions to answer in your journal about relationships which could start to change the way you understand yourself and your relationships. And these questions you can come back to over time to build an ongoing relationship with yourself. This is how coaches use questions to write answers to develop self-knowledge and deepen your relationship with yourself.
(Patti) Here is some Journaling prompts to deepen and save your relationships: Most of these prompts can be used with any relationship type—friendship, romantic, family, or work.
Describe what you want in the relationship?
Describe what you don’t want in the relationship?
What is the relationship like at the moment?
What is working well in the relationship?
What one thing can you do to make the relationship better and more of what you want it to be?
What does love mean to you?
What does love mean to your partner?
What is meaningful about the relationship?
What are some of your expectations for the relationship?
What is meaningful about your relationship?
(Angela) Number 6 – What does love mean to you that could be a whole book for one person!
(Angela) Questions from a coach can make journaling a lot more structured for anyone unsure where to start when it comes to your relationships. We’ll have those questions in the show notes.
(Angela) And the beauty of a question like number 6 – What does love mean to you – you can keep writing on this topic for many years.
(Angela) I want to invite listeners if there is anything that persistently bugs you – like – why do people act the way they do, why are people unkind – these are great topics to start writing on. I used to write on desire because I was obsessed with understanding why do we want things? Why do we want a person, why do we want an experience in life – and this was a large part of what I wrote on – to understand what I was curious about in the human condition.
(Angela) Curiosity is something that journaling can help you discover more and feed into your relationships.
(Angela) If you have a love relationship that has gotten stale, often there is a deeper need to understand something.
(Angela) It’s very easy to complain about your partner, being ‘not this or not that.’
(Angela) But how often do you get curious about how your partner thinks, why they do the things they do – and also what inspires them.
(Angela) When you journal on questions like:
(Angela) 10 What is meaningful about your relationship?
(Angela) You can start to share deeper things with your partner.
(Angela) That question Patti reminds me about another topic we want to have as a podcast – Can you say I love you? I find people are so unaware of what is the meaning of a relationship – and don’t know how to say “I love you” because they never had the time to contemplate what is the significance of a person to them – or Why a relationship has meaning and value for them. This is why coaching is so valuable – We give clients these value-based questions to help them find meaningful information.
(Angela) And you can always use these questions to go deeper with yourself in the writing process. When you find deeper meaning in your relationship, you can value it and look at it differently instead of getting stuck on what the blocks in the relationship will be. If you don’t know what is meaningful in a relationship, you can’t save the relationship because you don’t know why you want the relationship.
If you don’t know what is meaningful in a relationship, you can’t save the relationship because you don’t know why you want the relationship. ~ Angela Ambrosia, Love and Relationship Coach
(Patti) Journal even when you are feeling disengaged, upset, disappointed, or confused about your relationship, this can be one of the best times to reflect on the relationship situation and get out every ugly thing that has been left unsaid.
(Patti) Journal about happy times in your relationships and refer back to those moments to remind you why you love that person. Create happy moments or gratitude journals.
(Patti) Why is this good for relationships?
(Patti) When you journal about your feelings, you are not taking those emotions out on others. It lets you brain dump and removes all toxic thoughts. Once those emotions and thoughts have been exhaled you can move into rational solutions.
(Angela) Some questions on feelings when you get to a block in a relationship, or your feelings are hurt or coming up.
What am I feeling?
Why am I feeling this?
Is this my feeling – or am I picking up someone else’s feelings?
(Angela) Sometimes, especially if you are an emotional or sensitive person, you get lost in a feeling thinking it is yours, but in relationships, we also are feeling and impacted by the feelings of those we are in a relationship with especially close loved ones, children, parents, lovers, and friends. And even co-workers or neighbors have a deep impact on us especially if we are around them regularly.
(Angela) Patti, Have did you use journaling to save relationships in the work environment?
(Patti) Yes, I had a work journal. I used it to problem solve, work out issues, and emotions. I also gave my staff at the time a work journal. Some used the journal, and some did not. It was their personal choice whether to use it or not. Dumping your thoughts into the work journal helped in so many ways, instead of projecting emotions on others. It gave time to self-reflect instead of a knee-jerk reaction to a solution or problem. I wish I used it more than I did. It could have changed outcomes for the better. Daily work interactions are very much learning experiences when working with others. There are different points of view and work backgrounds. Reflecting on the situation through journaling gives you a new perspective of maybe I could do it differently with a better result.
(Angela) Patti, How did you use journaling to problem solve and brainstorm at work?
(Patti) When something comes up that I need to figure out, pulling out the journal helps make lists of how to solve the problem or situation by brainstorming solutions or ideas to develop different ways to tackle issues or communicate with others. Then brainstorm with others the ideas you’ve come up with. So when I brainstorm, I freestyle the process with no editing. When you edit while you write, your critic’s brain comes out, and you use the flow of ideas. No idea is a bad idea when in the brainstorming process. Working with others in a group journaling on the whiteboard ideas is an excellent way to come with something you wouldn’t think of. Working as a team and journaling is a way to throw out ideas towards solutions. Ask a question to the team and have them journal for solutions. I’ve seen great ideas come up when doing this. Individuals have private time to think and then feel comfortable sharing ideas when they feel safe. People need to feel that they won’t be criticized or reprimanded for their ideas for people to share.
(Angela) Tip: I have recently reviewed some journals where I did a dump of some quite dark emotions. On the one hand, it was good to see that I no longer feel that way. However, I also burned some of the old journals that I felt were no longer me, and the words or feelings in the journal were not something I want to keep. I tore out a few pages, and a few whole journals went into the fire. Sometimes, the writing isn’t necessary to stay forever; sometimes, the writing is to be kept to remind you in your future of where you came from, and how different or connected that is to where you are now.
(Angela) So if you have something that is particularly dark – you can always burn it, which releases the energy.
(Angela) And if you burn something and later think – oh, I wish I hadn’t destroyed it – you can always make a quiet time, sit and think. What was the relevance of what I wrote to what I am moving through now in my life?
(Angela) The significance of what you wrote will still be inside you somewhere, even if your words are not the same. The meaning and feeling will be accessible, and you can connect to it, and journal on the significance of that past piece of journaling.
(Patti) I find that journaling is good for you in so many ways. If there is something, you never want to be seen by others, destroy it by burning or shredding it. Those are your personal thoughts in time, and it is an excellent way to release them. Keep your journals in a secure private place. There are journal apps, and you can make a secure password-protected document on your computer for journaling as well.
(Angela) Try out journaling and let us know if it has made a positive difference in your relationships with others.
(Patti) If you have a topic or a question for us, please leave us a comment or voice message on the Anchor App. You can also listen to this podcast on most major podcast listening platforms like Apple and Spotify.
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