Have you ever thought, “Here we go again” or “Why does this always happen to me?”
Sometimes we move into a new relationship, friendship, or workplace, only to discover we are experiencing the same dynamics all over and over again.
In this podcast episode, we explore why we repeat relationship patterns and the different roles we may find ourselves playing, such as the people pleaser, fixer, peacemaker, over-functioner, approval seeker, or problem solver.
These patterns can show up in our personal relationships, friendships, romantic relationships, and in the workplace.
We also explore why recognizing a pattern doesn’t always make it easier to change. Sometimes a familiar pattern may feel comfortable because it is familiar, even when it isn’t healthy for us.
We would love to hear from you if you have noticed patterns in your life and what helped you begin making different choices.
BBR Intro and Outro video made in the Headlinerapp
The welcome and thank you graphic videos were made in @Canva
Disclaimer: This content is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, legal, or financial advice. Please seek appropriate professional support for your individual circumstances
Have you ever worked hard to build a life, only to realize that the life you created may not be the one you want anymore?
Perhaps you chose a career, earned a degree or certification, developed your skills, and invested years of time and energy. Your work may provide financial security. You may be good at what you do. And your career may have become a significant part of your identity.
But something feels different.
The work that once seemed like the right choice may no longer bring you the satisfaction you expected. You might find yourself dreading Monday mornings, wondering what happened to your enthusiasm, or thinking about what else you could do.
And yet, you keep going.
Why? Because you’ve already invested so much. Because you’re good at your job. Because it pays the bills. Because you believe you are supposed to do it.
But what if you paused long enough to ask yourself a different question?
Is this still the life I want to maintain?
When the Life You’ve Built No Longer Fits
It’s natural to keep going down a familiar path. We make decisions based on what we know at the time, the opportunities available to us, and what we believe will create a good future.
Sometimes, those choices work out beautifully. Other times, we discover new things about ourselves along the way.
Our interests change. Our priorities shift. We develop skills we didn’t know we had, or we discover that something we once dreamed about doesn’t suit us as we expected.
That doesn’t mean the years we’ve invested were wasted. They helped shape our experience, knowledge, and abilities.
It simply means what worked for us in the past may need reconsideration today.
And this isn’t just about a career. It could be a routine, a commitment, a role you play in your family, or a lifestyle you’ve maintained for years.
You can appreciate what you’ve built and still want something different.
Are You Staying Because You Want To, or Because You’ve Already Invested So Much?
One challenge of considering change is how much time, effort, and money we’ve already invested.
You might think:
I’ve spent years getting qualified for this career.
I’m good at what I do, so I should keep doing it.
This job provides financial security.
I don’t know what else I would do.
It’s too late to start something new.
These thoughts are understandable. Financial responsibilities, family commitments, and other practical considerations matter. Making a major change deserves thoughtful consideration.
But the time you’ve already invested doesn’t have to dictate every future decision.
Explore Before You Make a Major Change
If you’re considering a different career or professional direction, you don’t have to leap into the unknown without learning more.
Start by gathering information and exploring what a different path might look like.
Talk with people doing the work. Ask about their typical day, what they enjoy, what they find challenging, and what skills the job requires.
Look for opportunities to gain experience. Depending on the field, volunteering, job shadowing, taking a class, or working on a small project may help you understand whether the work interests you.
Consider your strengths and interests. What kinds of tasks engage you? Do you enjoy working with people, solving problems, creating something new, organizing projects, or learning new skills?
Think about practical considerations. What training, financial resources, time, or support might you need? What could you explore while keeping your current responsibilities in mind?
Create a plan. You may stay where you are, adjust your current role, or work toward a different opportunity. Gathering information can help you make a decision that fits your circumstances.
You may discover that the new path is exactly what you’re looking for. Or you may realize that what you have is a good fit after all, with a few changes that would make your day-to-day life more satisfying.
Either way, exploring helps you make a more informed choice.
What If You Don’t Need to Change Everything?
Sometimes, when we’re unhappy or feeling stuck, it can feel like our only options are to keep everything the same or start over completely.
But there may be another way.
Perhaps you enjoy your profession but need a different role, a new challenge, more flexibility, or a healthier work-life balance.
Perhaps you want to use your existing skills more creatively. Or maybe you need to revisit your priorities and make more time for the people and activities that matter to you.
Small changes can be worth exploring, too.
Ask yourself:
What part of my life is working well?
What would I like to be different?
Is there something I can change within my current circumstances?
What is one step I could take to learn more about my options?
You don’t need to have every answer today. You can begin with one question and take the next step when you’re ready.
Stay, Change, or Explore Something New?
When you think about the life you’re maintaining, consider three possibilities.
Stay. You may decide that your current career or lifestyle still works for you. You can appreciate that choice and continue building on what you’ve created.
Make changes. You may enjoy much of your life but recognize that certain things need to improve. Consider what you could adjust to make everyday life feel more balanced and satisfying.
Explore something new. You may discover you’re ready to go in a different direction. Start learning about the possibilities and create a thoughtful plan that considers your goals and responsibilities.
There isn’t one right answer for everyone. Your circumstances, needs, and priorities are your own.
The important thing is to decide thoughtfully, rather than assuming you have to keep living the same way simply because that’s what you’ve always done.
A Moment to Pause and Reflect
As you think about creating more balance in your life, take a moment to consider this question:
What if you don’t actually want the life you’ve been working so hard to maintain?
What comes to mind?
Is there a career you’ve been questioning? A routine that no longer suits you? A goal that once mattered but no longer reflects your priorities?
You don’t have to rush to an answer. Give yourself time to consider what is working, what you’d like to improve, and what possibilities you might explore.
Creating more balance can begin with recognizing that you have choices. Some changes may be small. Others may take time and planning. And sometimes, after reflecting, you may decide that staying where you are is the right choice.
What matters is that you’re making decisions based on what fits your life today and what you want for your future.
Let’s Explore
If you’re thinking about your career, work-life balance, or what comes next, coaching can help you explore your options, reflect on your priorities, and identify practical steps forward.
I would love to hear your thoughts: Is there a part of your life you’d like to change, explore, or improve? Share in the comments.
Until next time, keep exploring life and work, creating more calm and balance, and building a life that’s meaningful to you. 🦋
Have you ever started something new, felt excited about the possibilities, and then discovered just how much there is to learn along the way?
Maybe you’re learning a new skill, growing in your career, starting a business, or challenging yourself to do something outside your comfort zone.
You might feel confident and excited one moment, then wonder whether you’re getting it right.
I’ve been reflecting on this during the last 10 days of the Unleash Your Voice video challenge. It’s reminded me that personal growth doesn’t stop when we gain experience. We’re all still learning, discovering, and finding new ways to show up in our lives.
Building Coaching for Inspiration with Patti has involved learning so many different things. I have had to learn technology, set up a website, write blog posts, create videos, learn podcasting, and continue developing my coaching and Reiki practices.
Some of these experiences have been joyful. Others have been challenging. And there have been plenty of opportunities to try something, discover what works, and make adjustments along the way.
This video challenge has pushed me to speak to the camera without a script, share my point of view, and talk about subjects that can feel uncomfortable.
It’s one thing to know what you want to say. It’s another to look into a camera and express yourself naturally, knowing others may see and hear what you’ve shared.
But that’s part of learning. We try, we discover, and we grow.
Being a Coach Doesn’t Mean Having Everything Figured Out
As a coach, I encourage people to explore their goals, make changes, grow, and create more balance in their lives.
But I’m human, too.
I experience challenges. I make mistakes. I learn new things. And sometimes, I need to remind myself to practice what I share with others.
Recently, while working on my videos and other business activities, I pushed myself harder than I needed to. I started feeling run down and realized I needed to slow down and take care of myself.
The challenge itself wasn’t the problem. I had to recognize that I was the one pushing myself and that I needed to pay attention to how I was feeling.
You Don’t Have to Get Everything Perfect
One thing I’m learning through this challenge is to let myself speak more naturally.
Sometimes I’ll say “um.” Sometimes I’ll stumble over my words. Sometimes I’ll think of a better way to express something after I’ve already said it.
And that’s part of being human.
I want to share my experiences and perspectives because I hope they make a positive difference in someone’s life. I want people to see that learning something new doesn’t require having every detail figured out before you begin.
The same applies to you.
Maybe you’re considering a career change, developing a new skill, taking on a leadership role, starting a business, or working toward a personal goal.
You might feel uncertain about what comes next. You might wonder whether you’re ready.
You can learn along the way. You can adjust your approach. You can ask questions, try new things, and discover more about yourself as you go.
You don’t have to be perfect to make progress.
Showing Up as Yourself
This challenge has also encouraged me to share more of the real person behind my business.
You’ve seen me with and without makeup, with my hair done and on more casual days, inside my office and outside. You’ve seen different sides of my everyday life.
That’s part of showing up as myself.
We all have different life experiences, ideas, perspectives, and ways of seeing the world. Not everyone will agree with us, and that’s okay. We each bring something different to our conversations and the relationships we build.
For me, that includes remembering that our goals and ambitions matter, but so do the lives we’re living while we work toward them.
We can become so focused on learning, achieving, and getting things done that we overlook how we’re feeling along the way.
We may forget to rest, enjoy a hobby, spend time with people we care about, or step away from our responsibilities for a while.
Growth doesn’t have to mean pushing ourselves to the limit.
Sometimes growth means trying something new. Sometimes it means recognizing that we need a different approach. And sometimes it means slowing down enough to notice what we need.
We can keep moving toward our goals while making room for enjoyment, relationships, rest, and the little things that bring us joy.
That balance may look different for each of us, and it may change as our lives change.
What Are You Learning Along the Way?
As I continue building my business and exploring new ways to share my work, I’m learning to accept myself throughout the process.
I don’t have everything figured out, and I don’t expect to. I’ll continue learning, making mistakes, celebrating successes, and discovering new possibilities.
What matters to me is continuing to grow while remembering why I started: to make a positive difference in people’s lives.
I would love to hear about your experiences.
What are you learning in your life right now?
Share your thoughts in the comments. I would love to hear what you are discovering on your own life adventure.🦋
We spend a lot of time measuring success by what we accomplish, what we own, the goals we reach, and how our lives look from the outside.
We celebrate promotions, career achievements, milestones, and the things we have worked hard to earn. And those accomplishments can be wonderful.
How does life feel while we are living it?
Sometimes, life looks wonderful on paper.
You may have a successful career, financial stability, a comfortable home, and accomplishments you are proud of. You have worked hard, met expectations, and reached goals you once set for yourself.
Yet something doesn’t feel quite right.
Perhaps you are exhausted from constantly working toward the next milestone. Maybe you spend so much time meeting responsibilities that you have little time left for yourself. Or maybe the career or lifestyle you once wanted no longer feels as fulfilling.
You might wake up thinking, “Here we go again,” rather than feeling excited about the day ahead.
These feelings can be confusing, especially when you know you have many things to be grateful for.
But gratitude and dissatisfaction can coexist. You can appreciate what you have while recognizing that you want something in your life to change.
That feeling doesn’t automatically mean you need to make a dramatic decision. It may mean pausing to explore what’s important to you now.
I want to share an opinion that I feel strongly about:
I don’t believe being exhausted is something to be proud of.
Life can be busy. We all have responsibilities, work, family, relationships, appointments, activities, and things that need to get done. Some seasons of life have fuller schedules than others.
I understand that. I’ve been there myself.
In fact, I’ve experienced that exhaustion recently.
But I think there’s a difference between having a full day and living with a full plate day after day, month after month, without giving yourself time to rest and reset.
Pay Attention to the Warning Signs:
Exhaustion can show up in many different ways.
Maybe you’re more irritable than usual. Maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed, sad, or emotional. Maybe you find yourself thinking that one more thing will push you over the edge.
Maybe you are having trouble sleeping, even though you are exhausted.
Or maybe you reach a point where you think:
“I can’t do one more thing.”
Those moments are worth noticing.
Your body may be telling you something.
Your mind may be telling you something.
Sometimes the answer isn’t to push harder. Sometimes it’s to step back and look at what’s happening.
Does Everything Have to Happen Today?
This is a question I often come back to:
Does everything really have to be done today?
Sometimes the answer is yes. Some responsibilities truly can’t wait.
But sometimes we can say:
This can wait until tomorrow.
That one decision can make a difference.
We don’t always have to finish everything on the list before we allow ourselves to rest.
You might step away from your desk for a few minutes. Take a walk. Get some fresh air. Sit quietly. Take a few deep breaths.
And sometimes a few minutes isn’t enough.
Sometimes you need to take that vacation you’ve been postponing.
Schedule it.
Put it on the calendar.
And when the time comes, take it.
Creating More Balance:
Creating more balance doesn’t mean having a life where everything receives equal time or where nothing ever feels stressful.
As we talked about in my previous video, our lives move through different seasons. Our responsibilities change. Our priorities change.
But even during a very full season, it’s worth asking:
Have I made any room for rest?
If your plate has been full for one particularly busy day, that’s one thing.
But what if your plate has been full for months?
What if exhaustion has become your normal?
That may be a sign that something needs your attention.
Not because you’re doing something wrong.
Because you matter, too.
You Don’t Have to Wait Until You’re Completely Exhausted:
I know what it feels like to push too hard. And that’s one reason I’m sharing this with you.
I want something better for you.
You don’t have to wait until you’re completely exhausted before you step back and listen to what your body and mind are telling you.
Give yourself a few minutes.
Take the break.
Move something to tomorrow.
Schedule the vacation.
Make room for rest.
And if you’re realizing that you need some support creating more balance in your life, coaching can help you look at your priorities, your responsibilities, and what may need to change.
Reiki can also offer time to slow down, relax, and reset.
Sometimes we need to talk through what’s happening.
Maybe you picture a perfectly balanced scale, with every part of your life receiving the same amount of time and attention.
Work.
Family.
Relationships.
Hobbies.
Rest.
Personal time.
Everything perfectly divided.
But I don’t believe balance works that way.
Life Happens in Seasons
Our lives change, and our priorities change with them.
Think about the different seasons you’ve already experienced.
As a teenager, you may have focused on school, sports, academics, friends, and discovering who you were.
Then perhaps you went to college, where your education and career preparation became a bigger part of your life.
Maybe you got married and began building a life with your partner while continuing to build your career.
Then children came along, and suddenly more responsibilities competed for your attention.
Work.
Family.
Your home.
Finances.
Relationships.
There can be a lot to hold together.
Later, another season may arrive. Your children may grow up and move into their own lives. You may begin thinking more about retirement, new interests, travel, hobbies, or what you want the next chapter of your life to look like.
Each season is different.
And that’s okay.
Balance Doesn’t Have to Mean Equal
One myth about work-life balance is that every area of your life should get an equal amount of time.
But realistically, that’s almost impossible.
Sometimes work needs more of your attention.
Sometimes your family needs more of you.
Some seasons may require you to focus on a major personal goal.
And there may be seasons when you realize you need to slow down and spend more time caring for yourself.
That doesn’t mean you’ve lost your balance.
It means you’re living through a particular season of your life.
But Don’t Leave Everything Else Behind
While balance doesn’t have to be equal, I do believe it’s important to keep the other meaningful parts of your life in the mix.
When one thing becomes the only thing we focus on, we can begin to lose connection with other parts of our lives.
We may lose touch with relationships.
We may stop doing things we love.
We may forget about our own needs.
We may even lose a little bit of ourselves.
That’s why even small moments can matter.
Maybe it’s five minutes to sit quietly and breathe.
Maybe it’s taking a walk.
Maybe it’s calling someone you care about.
Maybe it’s spending time on a hobby.
Maybe it’s getting outside and enjoying the fresh air.
It doesn’t have to take hours.
Sometimes a few minutes can help you reset and reconnect.
Include Yourself in the Balance
One of the most important pieces of creating more balance is remembering you.
It’s easy to focus on work, family, responsibilities, and everything that needs to get done.
But you are part of your life, too.
Your rest matters.
Your interests matter.
Your relationships matter.
Your well-being matters.
You matter.
So rather than asking yourself:
“Am I giving everything equal time?”
Try asking:
“What is important to me in this season of my life?”
Then consider:
“What do I need to keep in the mix so the other important parts of my life don’t get left behind?”
Those questions may lead you toward a version of balance that feels much more realistic—and much more meaningful.
Your Balance Can Change
There isn’t one perfect formula for creating balance.
What works for you today may not be what you need six months from now.
That’s okay.
Your life will change.
Your priorities will change.
Your responsibilities will change.
And your version of balance can change with them.
Balance doesn’t have to be perfectly equal. It can be about creating a life that includes what matters most to you in the season you’re living right now.
Self-Reflection or Journal Prompts:
What season of life are you in right now?
What is taking more of your time and attention?
And what important part of your life could use a little more room?
Take a few moments to think about it.
Sometimes, creating more balance begins with noticing where your time and energy go.
Yesterday, I was exhausted. I had been pushing myself, and I reached a point where I knew I needed to stop. I needed time to rest. I needed to reset. And honestly, I needed some downtime.
It made me think about how easy it can be to keep pushing ourselves because there is always something else to do.
There is always one more thing.
One more task.
One more email.
One more responsibility.
We can tell ourselves we’ll rest when everything is finished.
But when is everything ever really finished?
Sometimes We Need to Listen
Our bodies and minds signal when we need to slow down.
We may feel tired, run down, overwhelmed, or simply not quite like ourselves.
Those moments can invite us to pause and pay attention.
Sometimes what we need isn’t another push.
Sometimes we need rest.
Taking a day off doesn’t mean we’re falling behind. Taking a few minutes to breathe doesn’t mean we’re being unproductive.
Sometimes stepping away is exactly what helps us return with more energy and perspective.
What Does Slowing Down Look Like?
It doesn’t have to be complicated.
Maybe it’s:
Taking a few deep breaths
Going for a walk
Getting outside in the fresh air
Sitting quietly with a cup of coffee
Taking a day off
Spending time doing something you enjoy
Simply allowing yourself some downtime.
For me, slowing down can be as simple as recognizing that I don’t need to keep pushing when my body is asking me to rest.
Self-Reflection and Journal Prompt:
When you start feeling run down or exhausted, what do you usually do?
Do you keep pushing until you have nothing left?
Or can you recognize that it may be time to step back, take a breath, and give yourself some time to rest?
Creating more balance doesn’t mean finding a perfect balance every day.
Sometimes it simply means listening to yourself and choosing differently.
So today, I’m reminding myself:
When I start feeling run down, weak, or exhausted, I’m going to listen to my body and give myself some time to rest and reset.
What might slowing down look like for you today? 🦋
As someone who encourages work-life balance and creating a more meaningful life, I thought it would be fun to share a little more about what relaxation looks like for me.
A relaxing day doesn’t have to be complicated. For me, some of the best days are made up of simple things.
If my cat lets me sleep in, that’s already a pretty good start! 😂 Once I get up, I’ll feed her, water my plants, and fill up the fountains outside.
Living in Arizona means the fountains need attention, because it’s hot. I love watching the hummingbirds come by, and I like knowing that there is water available for them.
When the weather is not too hot, I will make some coffee and sit outside on the patio.
I will listen to the wind chimes if there’s a nice breeze and enjoy my coffee.
Sometimes I will journal or spend some time with self-reflection questions. I may pray or meditate.
Another favorite is relaxing in my hammock with my headphones and listening to an audiobook.
And I have to admit, I love a good cozy mystery audiobook. 😊
In the evening, my husband and I may watch some of our favorite shows together.
When I am getting ready for bed, I often meditate, listen to a couple of chapters of a mystery, play a game on my Kindle, and practice self-Reiki to help me relax before sleep.
None of these things are complicated.
But they matter to me.
They help me slow down.
They give me time to think.
They help me reconnect with myself.
And they give me an opportunity to enjoy the moment.
What Helps You Relax?
I think we sometimes make relaxation more complicated than it has to be.
We may think we need a vacation, a weekend away, or a major change before we can truly rest.
Sometimes what we need is much, much simpler.
Maybe it’s sitting outside with a cup of coffee.
Maybe it’s reading.
Maybe it’s spending time with someone you love.
Maybe it’s listening to music, walking, gardening, journaling, praying, meditating, or sitting in silence for a few minutes.
The important thing is noticing what actually helps you relax and recharge.
As we focus on Creating More Balance, this is worth thinking about.
Are you making room for the things that help you feel refreshed?
Are you giving yourself time to slow down?
Are there simple things you enjoy that have gradually disappeared from your life?
You don’t necessarily need to change your life completely.
You might simply start by noticing what brings you a little more calm, joy, love, fun, connection, and rest.
What does a relaxing day look like for you? 🦋
I would love to hear what helps you slow down and recharge.
I’m not the right coach for everyone—and that’s okay.
I haven’t really talked about this before, but I think it’s important to understand that different people look for different things from a coach.
My coaching style is for people who are ready to look within themselves, reflect on what is happening, and take action toward the changes they want to make.
Coaching Is a Partnership
When you work with me, I won’t tell you what to do.
I believe coaching is a partnership.
I’ll ask questions, sometimes deep questions, that encourage you to think about your situation in a different way.
We may explore what you truly want, what is working, what isn’t working, and what you would like to change.
Sometimes that kind of self-reflection can be uncomfortable.
But it can also help you discover things about yourself and your situation that you may not have considered before.
The Action Is Yours
One of the most important parts of coaching is taking action.
I can support you. I can ask questions. I can help you create an action plan. I can encourage you and celebrate your progress.
But I can’t take the steps for you.
You decide what you want to do and then take those steps.
That’s an important part of the coaching relationship.
My goal isn’t for you to depend on me to make your decisions. My goal is to support you as you discover what you want and move toward it.
Who I Work Well With
My coaching may be a good fit if you’re ready to:
Look honestly at what is happening in your life or work
Reflect on your choices and what you truly want
Consider different perspectives
Explore what may need to change
Create an action plan
Take steps toward your goals
Participate actively in the coaching process
You don’t have to have everything figured out before you begin.
You may simply know that something isn’t working the way you want it to.
Maybe you’re thinking about a career decision.
Maybe you’re growing into a leadership role.
Maybe work has started taking more of your energy than you’d like.
Maybe you have a personal goal you keep putting aside.
Or maybe you simply know that you want something different.
Those can all be places where coaching can help you explore what comes next.
I Am Here to Support You
I genuinely want my clients to succeed.
I want you to live a positive life that you love. I want you to enjoy your work. I want you to have meaningful relationships and make time for what matters to you.
And I want to support you as you work toward those things.
I’ll ask the questions.
I’ll listen.
I’ll encourage you.
I’ll help you create the plan.
And I’ll celebrate your progress with you.
But the action belongs to you.
Not every coach is the right fit for every person, and that’s perfectly okay.
What matters is finding a coaching relationship that fits what you’re looking for and supports the way you want to grow.
If you’re ready to make a change and take action toward the life you desire, I’d love to explore whether my coaching style is right for you. 🦋
