I thought saying yes made me a good person.
Now, I can see how often I chose what I thought would make other people happy instead of stopping to ask myself what I wanted.
One experience in particular has stayed with me.
The Writing Workshop I Didn’t Attend
Years ago, one of my favorite authors was doing a writing workshop.
She wrote mystery and suspense, and I really enjoyed her books. I was excited about the opportunity to attend the workshop and possibly meet her.
I asked a family member who also enjoys writing if she wanted to go with me.
She said no because she wanted to do something else.
Instead of saying, “Okay, maybe we can do your something else another day,” I changed my plans.
And I didn’t go.
At the time, it probably didn’t seem like a big decision.
But it was a big deal to me.
I have been disappointed ever since because I have never had another chance to meet that author.
Looking back, I realize I put someone else’s preference ahead of something important to me.
I was trying to please someone else, and I didn’t stop and reflect:
“This is important to me. I want to go.”
I could have gone to the workshop on my own.
I could have enjoyed the experience.
And I could have made plans to do something with my family member another time.
Instead, I gave up something I really wanted.
That experience has stayed with me because it helped me recognize something about people-pleasing.
Sometimes saying yes to someone else means saying no to yourself.
Often, we are trying to be kind, helpful, supportive, or considerate.
But when putting other people first becomes our automatic response, we can eventually find ourselves wondering:
“Where did I fit into all of this?”
Self-Reflection and Journal Prompts:
🦋 Have you ever given up something you really wanted because you were trying to please someone else?
🦋 Where might you be saying yes because it feels easier than saying what you really want?
🦋 What are you saying no to when you automatically say yes to someone else?
I still hope I get another opportunity to meet that author someday. And if I do, I will go for sure.
Let’s keep exploring life and work, creating more calm, balance, and a life that’s meaningful to you.
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Disclaimer: These videos and articles are from my point of view and are for educational and informational purposes only.
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