Do you remember the days when you were excited to get up and go to work? You loved having this career and learning new things. You lit up the office with your enthusiasm. You were like a sponge; you soaked up all the knowledge you could get.
When did everything at work change from excitement to dread?
Was it a slow fade over time?
How did it happen?
What changed in you, and you started to dread going into the office?
When did your job tasks become mundane?
I think we all have been here at some time or another with a job position. We want something more challenging and exciting if you feel like this; maybe it is time for a new direction in your career path.
How is your attitude at work affecting those around you and yourself?
You know what you want and what you don’t want. What is holding you in a job that you feel bored and on the road to nowhere?
What could make you feel alive again with your work situation?
Reflect on all these questions and think about what are some solutions for you? You know something needs to give, but the only way it will change is if you put it into action.
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In this podcast episode, Angela and Patti get real and have a conversation about communicating in conflict.
When we came up with this topic, we explored being okay to say no and have a fall-out with someone. People pleasers struggle with saying no because they are scared, leading to the person not liking them or getting upset with them.
Nowadays, people are quick to avoid or ghost others instead of talking to each other. They wash their hands of people and walk away. It is easier to bail than to communicate. We hope this not the case; we know it is better to discuss things, whether pleasant or not, for relationships to last. Patti wrote a blog called “Damaged Relationships – Are They Salvageable?” It is about fall-out relationships and how unforgiveness causes physical and emotional harm.
Working relationships do have fall-outs that are not pretty. Avoidance makes more stress within the Workplace because the little things start adding up to big things when not addressed. That’s when all hell breaks loose in the Workplace, and people explode, get burnt out, start overthinking, become anxious, have low morale and no motivation, or even worse, quit and walk out without any notice. Patti did a blog called – How to Respond to Unprofessional People! Journal about what happened. Reflect on how they may respond to you. Create a plan of action on how to communicate calmly and to respond sensibly.
In the blog post series called Bad Leadership Styles. The series is how to identify different styles of Leadership with suggestions on guidance to address these negative behaviors. I will provide the link in the show notes.
Tips on How to Keep the Relationship While Dealing With Conflict:
Work on your feelings first:
❤️ Are you angry and denying it?
❤️ What are you feeling?
❤️ If it’s about being right.
❤️ Why do you need to be, right?
❤️ Being right is always based on a belief that you should be better than someone.
❤️ Why do you have to be better than someone?
If you’re listening to this in the holidays and you want to focus on having better relationships, then take this time to envision or pray or imagine the type of affection or connection you would love in your relationships.
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I’m sure we have all meet someone who seems to have it all together and projects they have a perfect life. They post all this fun and fabulous stuff on Facebook about their life. They have a great career, a huge house, a brand new car, and a loving home life from appearances, then, later on, you find out it was all a show.
What about a leader that appears to be perfect?
Is anyone genuinely perfect? Hell no, we all have quirks, habits, personalities that may rub someone the wrong way at times and make mistakes; that is what a human does.
Do you respect someone who looks and acts like they are perfect, or do you question their authenticity?
Who do you respect more, someone who is a hot mess but holds it all together or a fake perfect person that is always looking to make a great impression?
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you should scatter all your dirty laundry around at work. However, when someone comes across as always perfect and doesn’t make mistakes, it leaves suspicion and lack of trust. By not showing your human side, it is hard to build lasting relationships. You may be called a fair-weather person.
What makes a good leader is they admit they are imperfect and care about doing a good job, the staff, their coworkers, and customers.
What are your thoughts? 🦋 Does perfection equal an outstanding leader? 🦋 Or something completely different?
The other day I was at an appointment, and the doctor told me that they were desperate to hire someone quickly. She said if they got a pulse, they got the job. We both laughed. She said we need another body in here as soon as possible. Sometimes, I said, you know, that doesn’t always work out because they may not be a good fit or worker with that philosophy. The funny thing is my husband was talking to me a while back and suggested that I should write a blog post for “You’ve Got A Pulse, You Got the Job!” I guess God and the universe are telling me it is time to write it.
Filling a chair or position to have a body in it is not a very good idea. When hiring supervisors don’t spend the time to make sure the candidate is someone qualified and will connect well with staff and customers in the long run, it will cause more anguish for everyone involved. Why is that?
One person’s bad attitude, incompetency, or lack of motivation can destroy a cohesive work environment.
Yes, I understand that some companies are understaffed and need people immediately because of high turnover, high caseload, or staffing ratio to the patients or security and safety reasons. However, look at time and expense training someone you will eventually have to let go, or worse, keep someone that is incompetent or a kick-starter to the other employees and customers and causes turmoil in the workplace.
Lowering the hiring standards is not the answer!
Take some time in the hiring process to get to know the candidate. Review the resume and job application. Does this person change jobs every few months? If so, why? Are they promotions or some other reason listed? If not listed, ask the candidate. What kind of positions have they done in the past? Is it equal to the job qualifications? Have specific questions about the job in the interview for the candidate to answer. Were the answers clear and concise, and right? After the interview, call the candidate’s references. Have specific questions about attendance, team player, customer service, and work performance.
If references check out with useful recommendations to the questions answered, ask the candidate to come back and meet your staff if this allowable in your company. Have the candidate engage with the team maybe see what the job duties entail. Remember, the employees have a vested interest because they have to work with this person too. If you have an open, honest relationship with your employees, they will give you their opinion. Ultimately you have the final answer on who to hire and who not to hire.
Spending a little time checking out the candidate may save you, your staff, and customers frustration and protect the company bottom-line on training the wrong person.
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❤️ Why are we so hard on ourselves when we make a mistake?
Mistakes happen, and owning up to them makes you a better person. Hiding mistakes or blaming others isn’t good for your reputation or your relationships. For some people, the fear of making a mistake can paralyze them to the point of not taking any action at all.
Here are some questions to ponder:
❤️ Why do you think people are afraid to fess up to their mistakes?
❤️ Is it about looking bad in front of others?
❤️ Is it that if they admit to making a mistake, they may lose a job or, worse, someone they love or admire?
❤️ Is it fear of being embarrassed, mocked, or teased?
❤️ What are some mistakes that are better left unsaid? Are there situations that you shouldn’t confess?
Making mistakes helps us learn what not to do, grow more knowledgeable, and become successful. As the saying goes, I’ve tried that, done that, and I learned from it.
❤️ How do you get over and move on from a mistake?
Patti wrote a blog post in November of 2019 on workplace shaming called “Don’t Be That (Guy) Person!” “Is shaming an effective management strategy?” Listeners – We would love to hear your thoughts on these questions.
How can these circumstances of overcoming the fear of mistakes change and having the courage to admit it?
When making a mistake and getting caught, why is it hard for some to admit it and apologize?
Getting it wrong happens, but sometimes our inner critic can beat us up to the point of being paralyzed or afraid to take action. What can we do?
❤️ Self-Reflect on what happened. What can I do to fix this situation? Can I fix it? What can I do differently next time?
❤️ Journal about it. Continue to write and get out of all those emotions. The disappointment, hurt, shame, your inner critic, etc.
❤️ Acknowledge the mistake and be humble.
❤️ Apologize; keep it simple and sincere. I am sorry.
❤️ Accept the consequences and do what it takes to fix it or make it better when possible.
❤️ Recite positive Affirmations and reflect on all the good things you have accomplished.
❤️ Turn that negative experience into a positive by learning from it.
❤️ Everyone makes mistakes. This is how we become a better person from these experiences.
If you have a topic or a question for us please leave us a comment or voice message on the Anchor App. You can also listen to this podcast on most major podcast listening platforms like Apple and Spotify. Do you enjoy our podcasts? If so, What about becoming a monthly supporter. Click on the support button in the Anchor App. By supporting this podcast with donations it will help us continue to produce future episodes. Thank you so much for listening.
We were talking about a blog post Patti wrote called “What! Sensitivity Training?”
(Patti) The idea came from watching the movie “Sensitivity Training”. It caught my eye because it was about a life/business coach and her reluctant client.
Questions for the Listeners:
Do you want an insensitive society?
Are you happy being complacent when people are being ignored, hurt or treated badly?
(Angela) Gentle movement has shown me that softness allows the compassionate part of us to expand, and that compassion is mostly (if not always) more often with yourself, after compassion with yourself, comes discovery, awe and other awarenesses about the gift of your body, the gift of life, the gift of breathing, the beauty of so much if you want to know more check out https://dancewithangelahealing.as.me/ and sign up for the newsletter; https://bit.ly/3fI6EpQ
Reflect – Does it need to be said?
Will they listen to the feedback and take it to heart or will it cause more conflict and damage to the relationship?
Do I need to end this relationship for my mental health?
Sometimes you can’t totally end the relationship, but you can distance yourself and put up boundaries. I try to remember each person we interact with may be faced with some hard life challenges that are not discussed, and some are hurting so deeply with emotional wounds that have not been addressed and healed.
There are times throughout our lives and careers; we may say something offensive to someone and not even realize it. It was unintentional; however, we learn from those mistakes and continue to grow as a person, coworker, parent, child, sibling, spouse, manager, supervisor, and leader. Apologize when you should. Take time to listen, observe, and be open to other people’s points of view. Be coachable. Take personal development courses and read books. Hire a coach to help you get through any challenges you are facing. Learn from your daily interactions and reflect on how to do better next time around.
Thank you for listening and supporting the podcast. We would love to hear your answers to the questions. Leave us a comment or voice message on Anchor.
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This month’s topic theme is going to be about burnout. Has it ever happened to you? It is not fun, but it is becoming more common for people in management positions and high demanding careers.
I came across this movie, “Sweet Home Carolina,” on Tubi. It starts with Diane sitting in her office, not answering her office phone, and hyperventilating into a brown bag.
Burnout is what happens when the soul whispering against an unhealthy job or relationship. – Dr. Dina Glouberman
Diane is an Advertising Executive, and her personal life is a mess. She works long hours and has a habit of picking up her youngest child late from school. Her oldest teenage daughter is angry with her over the divorce of her parents and blames Diane. Diane is receiving collection notices in the mail. She is a train wreck ready to happen. Family dinners consist of frozen lasagna and Diane drinking a few glasses of wine before going to bed.
Don’t get so busy making a living, that you forget to make a life. – Dolly Parton
When Diane thought her life couldn’t get any worst. Her boss called her into his office and gave away her biggest client to a coworker. Then told her she needed to take some time off (permanently). A life preserver happened; her Aunt, who recently passed away, left her a house in a small town in South Carolina. The stipulations were taking care of her Aunt’s dog and living in the house for a year. She subleased her home in Los Angeles, and she and her daughters moved.
Don’t accept burnout as the price or definition of success. – Jon Acuff
The demanding career, the big house, and a fancy car is not everything. What makes true happiness? In Diane’s case, she realized that most important to her was a loving, respectful relationship with her daughters, a good man who loved her deeply, and a small town of caring people.
Sometimes we choose a career because of the large paycheck and later realize the job has cost us more than we bargained. No social life, no friends, damaged love life, estranged family, health problems, a lack of purpose, and what happened to my enthusiasm and happiness?
Think about your life. Is this the way I want my story to end?
Let’s think about – What are the benefits of being more grateful, thankful, light-hearted, friendly, kind, and positive?
Here are some possible benefits:
❤️ Positive thinking attracts good things to you.
❤️ A positive outlook creates meaningful relationships.
❤️ Being positive decreases depression and anxiety.
❤️ Positive thoughts increase motivation, inspiration, and creativity.
❤️ Being positive improves the immune system.
While, Reflecting on these benefits, why do you think society isn’t more positive?
How do we change a negative culture? Changing the focus to a positive, and an encouraging outlook towards each other, which increases motivation, creativity, better health, improves relationships whether at home or work, and it makes the environment a better place too.
What else can we do?
❤️ Affirmations are a great way to help change your outlook to the better. I would use Affirmation driving on my way to work and to get me through the day. Here is an example of an Affirmation. “Positive thinking is changing my relationships for the better!” Repeat it throughout the day, silently or out loud.
❤️ Self-reflection is another strategy to improve and change our attitude for the better. Here is a self reflection question to journal about: How am I creating more positivity in my life?
❤️ Pray to God for the change you want to see in your life, for the world and have faith it will happen. It may not happen the way you thought it would, it will probably be so much better. Keeping the faith in the good around us and not in the fear and anger being thrown in our direction. 🙂
❤️Spend time in meditation to calm and lighten your spirit. Smile, think good thoughts and speak kindly to those around you. By doing this it will change the way others treat you as well.
❤️ Tell your spouse/partner, children, and parents you love them every time you talk to them or see them. Love can change the world. People who feel loved, radiate love. How am I creating more positivity in my life?
We would love to hear from you about this topic. Leave us a comment or voice message on Anchor.
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Recently I was searching for something to watch on Prime Video and came across the movie “Sensitively Training.” I thought it would be interesting since this is a pretty hot topic, and it is about a business/life coach and her reluctant client.
Serena (client) is a microbiologist, and she is excellent with bacteria but not so good with people. She had no filter; she said whatever she thought no holding back. After belittling a colleague in a staff meeting, and then the coworker committed suicide, Serena is mandated into sensitivity training with Caroline (coach). Caroline has a positive outlook of life, and she represents everything Serena dislikes, but Caroline is determined to help Serena. Caroline was at a crossroads in her coaching career. She wanted to coach on more than sexual harassment cases and make a difference in people’s lives. In the movie, the coaching/client relationship becomes unprofessionally blurred at times; however, Serena had positive behavioral results from the coaching process.
What is sensitively training? It is a form of training, with the goal of making people more aware of their own goals as well as their prejudices, and more sensitive to others and to the dynamics of group interaction.
What isworkplace sensitivity training? It ensures that everyone in the workplace is respected and treated appropriately, regardless of who they are while learning to be respectful and consider the perspectives of others.
What isrespectful workplace training? It has a different approach, which isn’t about being broken and needing to be fixed. It allows you to be you, but with a different lens to look through.
What are some coaching and training topics for Workplace Sensitivity and Respectful Workplace?
Communication & Coaching for Leaders
Managing Workplace Conflict
Promoting Positive Personal Conduct
Respectful Workplace and Communication
Serena had a wake-up call (Sensitivity Coaching and Training) that changed her personal and professional life forever. She was smiling, happy, and enjoying life for the first time. Serena had a friend, a pet (turtle), and a relationship with her half-brother. She was listening and engaging with her staff. As a team, they came up with a solution to a problem bacteria, for Serena sensitivity coaching and training was the best thing that had ever happened to her.
There are times throughout our careers; we may say something offensive to someone and not even realize it. It was unintentional; however, we learn from those mistakes and continue to grow as managers, supervisors, and leaders. Apologize when appropriate. Take time to listen, observe, and be open to other people’s points of view. Be coachable. Take training courses on new leadership strategies. Hire a coach to help you get through any challenges you are facing. Learn from your daily interactions and reflect on how to do better next time around. ~ Patti
Did you find this helpful? If so, please share this blog post with others! Comments are welcome.
To schedule “one on one coaching” with Patti – click on the “Schedule Now” button below:
We are concerned about how social media can cause hurt feelings, depression, addiction to social media, and comparison.
Here are some reflection questions:
❤️ What makes people feel it’s okay to post things that they would most likely never say face to face or outside of social media?
❤️ Where does this boldness or insensitivity come from?
❤️ Is proving your point worth all the drama and losing friendships over?
Today, we would like to explore how to manage some of those difficult behaviors. ❤️ How do we relate to social media in a healthy way? ❤️ Are you taking a break from social media because it is “too toxic?”
What do you find frustrating about social media, what makes it so toxic to you? We love to hear from listeners if they could share what they find disappointing about social media, why not leave us a comment.
Question to the Listeners: ❤️ What are some of the things you ENJOY seeing on social media. Share in a comment and let us know.
Angela: I love healing meditations and I share those because I love them.
Patti: I love seeing photos of families having fun together, vacation photos, travel adventures and cute positive memes.
In a previous podcast (Episode 4) we discussed going Beyond Comparison and Accepting One Self. “Cancel culture refers to the popular practice of withdrawing support for (canceling) public figures and companies after they have done or said something considered objectionable or offensive.
Patti wrote a blog posts similar to this subject called Don’t Be That Guy! It is about shaming someone or making them the poster child in the workplace. When someone has committed a bad behavior or done something procedurally wrong, in some organizations, they use this term “Don’t be that (Guy) Person” for humiliation or an example of what not to do. I feel this is similar to the cancel culture. In the blog post is a poll. With this question – Is shaming an effective management strategy?
Become a monthly supporter of Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela and Patti a podcast.Click on the support button in the Anchor App. “By supporting Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela and Patti podcasts through donations this will help sustain future episodes. Thank you for listening and sharing. 🙂 ”