Welcome to Exploring Life and Work with Patti – From Chaos to Calm. Join me as we explore the good, the bad, and the chaotic in the life of a manager or supervisor.
This podcast is for you if you are a manager or supervisor who feels burnt out, stressed out, or overworked from your demanding job. Now, you’re looking to find some calm and balance in life, both inside and outside of work.
These monthly mini-podcast episodes inspire life and work strategies to maintain sanity within your busy day from chaos to calm.
I am your host Patti Oskvarek, a Leadership and Work-Life Balance Coach.
Follow “Exploring Life and Work with Patti” on all your favorite podcast listening platforms to get all the latest podcast episodes.
Angela: All of us have thoughts that are not happy thoughts. We all have thoughts out of balance, not kind, not great, and better not shared. However, once you think, an idea adds to the collective thoughts of consciousness in all human beings. 48 Building Resilience with Social and Viral Media for Caring Relationships I talked about Mass Consciousness, which is the collective thoughts and emotions created, experienced, and projected by humans through all time.
Patti: Adding a little more to this about our unhappy thoughts – When we feel victimized, our thoughts and feelings become unbalanced. Working through those feelings helps to maintain balance and interactions with others. For example, looking towards the future with hope and gratitude while realizing the past was a life lesson to navigate a better tomorrow.
Angela: Patti, you do Coaching for Inspiration with Patti. You inspire people with ideas, thoughts to think differently, creatively and solution focussed. Do you find that humans are balanced in their thoughts?
Patti: Most people have a lot thrown at them throughout the day. They have not spent any time shutting off. They are overload and overwhelmed, and some are just going through the motions. Some are constantly in fear or defensive mode. So to answer the question, no.
Angela: Do you feel thoughts are inherently negative and positive, and then we have to see both negative and positive and see what emerges from the two?
Patti: Depends on the home and work environment. For example, suppose they have a stable, loving, and respectful home life (positive) and have turmoil, criticism, hostility, and lack of love or encouragement in the family unit (negative). In the work environment: Say that they feel challenged, respected. Enjoy their job, encouraged. Acknowledge, praise, and feel heard (positive). However, if the workplace lacks teamwork, it promotes aggressive competitiveness, micro-managing, harsh critiquing, pitting each other against one another, criticizing, and bickering behavior (negative).
There could be a combination of both excellent home life and horrible work life. Or an awful home life and a great work environment. Then there is both a negative home and work life or both positive home and work life. So which is the most balanced? Is it having joy in both places? Whether people realize it or not, personal and work-life run into each other daily.
Angela: What is inspiration, and how could inspiration be derived from negative and positive thoughts interacting with each other?
Inspiration is inspiring or animating action or influence, as an idea or a result of inspired activity, a thing or person that inspires you. Theology or Spiritual – A divine influence directly and immediately put upon the mind or soul. The divine quality of writing, words of a person so influenced—the act of inspiring the quality or state of being inspired.
To me, inspiration is when you feel compelled or drawn to do something and feel good about it. Someone encourages you, and you feel energized and enjoy doing it.
When something negative happens in life, reflect on that situation, you can either look at it from overwhelm, distraught, resentfulness, un-forgiveness, or anger. That’s okay; we need to go through the process of healing. However, it is not healthy for us when it consumes us for years and holds us back in life, and we can’t move on. It can make us sick and change our perspective towards others that have nothing to do with what happened. When we learn from that experience and share how we moved past it with others who are going through the same thing, we inspire them to heal from it as well. That is taking a negative and moving it to a positive interaction of thoughts and actions.
Angela: Whenever you have a thought, it could be a thought that has circulated throughout history – it could be a thought from your parents that you think is yours – but is it?
Changing the thought cycle is important if it is harmful or unkind. An Example: Say, as a child you are verbally abused; how can you stop this cycle with your children? So it doesn’t continue. Change your interaction and words towards them in a kinder way.
Parenting from the inside out, so you can understand the conflict between how you feel about how you treat your child because of how you were raised. Angela did a Facebook live on mothering and its connection to lack of self-love and hate, which looks at how we blame parents and at the same time damn ourselves to feelings of being separate from love.
Angela: A big part of my relationship healing work is to see all the unconscious and conscious negative thoughts I have had about a person, which can be some time and even years. And then I start to see how those thoughts have kept that person away from me – and actually how the person, even if I never said those words out loud – the person has felt those thoughts.
Patti: Pausing, reflecting, and asking yourself, is this helpful to me and my relationship with him. Does it need to be said? If yes, then do it; if no, then don’t.
Angela: Most of what is helpful to my relationship is specifically spontaneous in the moment and has no real basis in thought. What is fruitful to the relationship is based in feeling, sentiment, comedy and delighted at the prospect of being in my partner’s presence. And there is no thought in that space. It’s when I get specific charged up thoughts that I know to start paying attention to them to see what they are trying to make me see inside myself – and if they have something loving, helpful, fun and insightful for my partner – they will be thoughts that are not expecting anything from the person that are shared without a thought, without thinking about it – and they just sort of come out of me spontaneously.
Patti: Angela, I love this – What is fruitful to the relationship?
This episode has given us a lot to think about in our relationships, whether social media, home life, and more. We would love to hear your tips, strategies, or inspiring stories on building better relationships at home and work or about this podcast topic. If you enjoy this podcast, How about becoming a supporter? Click on the Support button in the Anchor App. Thank you so much for listening.
Today Angela and Patti will explore how to interact with Social Media and keep yourself focused on the impact that social media and addictive viral media has on how you treat others with care or carelessness. When Angela trained in Mass Communication we researched the history of documentary and fiction film, radio, creative video and theater. She used the term Mass Communication and the modern forms of Social Media and Viral Media grew out of these forms of mass communication as a way for every human to participate actively in all forms of mass communication. Social Media was a way for the people to create their own stories and respond to the mass media being projected on them or about them.
Is this similar to shadow work?
Shadow work comes from the term “the shadow self,” which was coined by famed 20th-century psychologist Carl Jung. In Jungian psychology, this term describes the unconscious parts of the personality that our conscious ego doesn’t want to identify in itself. Shadow work is a process of inner work in which you bring those unwanted parts to the surface to purify, heal, and integrate into yourself. Your shadow isn’t something to be ashamed of or something to hate. It simply points to where you have work to do and where you got to give yourself more love.
In spiritual work we call this type of collective back and forth of thoughts, words, feelings, emotions and communication in humanity – Mass Consciousness. Angela always been struck by how Mass Communication and Mass Consciousness are two very different worlds of the media and spirituality that have a lot to offer each other about how to control or worsen the negative aspects of human thoughts and emotions. Mass Consciousness is the collective thoughts and emotions created, experienced and projected by humans through all time. This includes all the literature, all media, all the thoughts your ancestors had, all the thoughts you have when you’re not even aware you’re having thoughts. Some people also refer to Mass Consciousness as the thought sphere. However, Mass Consciousness is not just thoughts. It is the emotions and thoughts that have been experienced by humanity through all time. And these are not just in written form. Many cultures did not use writing, they used spoken words, they used art, architecture and all cultures had love and relationships, families, communities, tribes and these had thoughts and feelings. So Mass Consciousness is the collective of all these thoughts and feelings.
There is always a reason any social media triggers you.
Often if you watch that media, if you literally just watched how the media makes you FEEL, you would get the TRUE impact of that viral media.
Try this experiment: Before you even get on social media – take a note of how you feel and write it down. Then go on social media for 5 minutes. Get off – and notice how you feel and write down how you feel. And be honest. If you do this experiment over time. You will see the difference.
What are some Strategies to help listeners start to pay attention to how social media makes them uncaring, numb or disingenuous to their relationships?
Create or purchase a gratitude journal. Every day in the journal, write one to three things you are grateful for in your daily life. When you practice being thankful for the things and people in your life this helps you appreciate others more which in turn you become more caring.
Be aware of your emotions and feelings when on social media. Remove yourself from social media if you feel triggered and emotions of overwhelm, comparison or anger happen. Don’t reply to a post when your emotions are high, if you do need to respond. Respond back in a couple of hours when you have time to cool off, rewrite your response several times before hitting the reply button for the whole world to see. Ask someone else you trust for honest feedback before replying. Reflect after writing the response – Is it kind, is it necessary, how would you feel if someone responded to you with this response?
Work on halting the complaining and overthinking about a situation or comparison envy during and after reviewing social media. One thing Patti does is skip on by posts that she knows will trigger her.
The definition of resilience is the ability to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions. Patti calls these life lessons.
Let’s say we are overthinking about a situation that can really take a toll on a person. It may cause depression, anger, suicidal thoughts, sadness, ulcers, overwhelm, uncontrollable crying, anxiety attacks, and so much more.
Being resilient is the process of healing and requires constant mental work of positive self-talk, the ability to let it go and move on.
On this day trip, I went with my childhood friend Krysti. When I had told her about my travel blog adventures, she said she wants to do a day’s travel with me; I said, okay, you pick the place. So the trip planning experience was a let’s go for it approach. Krysti decided on Sonoita, Arizona; it is about a 60-minute drive from Tucson. So we met in Tucson and started our voyage from there. Krysti made some Sonoita Coffee Roasters – Medium Roast Sonoita Sunrise blend coffee to begin our road trip adventure. The coffee is so good! It seemed fitting since we were going to Sonoita, Arizona.
Sonoita is the cross-road to get to Patagonia Lake, Parker Canyon Lake, and Elgin. In addition, there are a few wineries in the communities of Sonoita and Elgin on the beautiful scenic route of Highway 83.
Our first stop was Corner Scoop restaurant in Sonoita, with an outdoor sitting area, for lunch. I ordered an Italian sandwich with pickles. It was delicious.
Our next stop was the Sonoita Vineyards for wine tasting. We walked up to the bar, and I tried the Sweet & Lights wines. The place was in a beautiful setting. The people there were pleasant and friendly and had some unique merchandise for sale.
The next stop was The Village of Elgin Winery for some more wine tasting. I have to say this was my happy wine place. I tasted the Sangaria’s Berry Rose (Blackberry and Raspberry) and Morgana (Pomegranate and Strawberry). I bought a bottle of each. Krysti liked the wine and gin there as well.
We met up with the co-owner Benjamin de la Garza, and he was gracious to explain to us how the coffee beans roasted. Sonoita Coffee Roasters traces back to 2010 as a coffee roasting hobby. After six years of hobby roasting and building interest in the town for locally roasted organic coffee, the Sonoita Coffee Roasters LLC began in Sonoita, Arizona. The company grew its clientele locally through word-of-mouth advertising and by participating in local coffee-related events. After learning Sonoita Coffee Roasters’ roasting methodology, Benjamin and Jessica de la Garza purchased the company in 2018. Sonoita Coffee Roasters focuses on the local Sonoita community while expanding its market outwards to the Tucson Metropolitan area, Patagonia, Benson, Sierra Vista, Wilcox, and online markets. They believe fresher is better and in roasting frequently to provide the highest quality product. Roast days are Mondays and Thursdays.
After meeting with Benjamin de la Garza, we headed back to Tucson.
In this adventure of Sonoita and Elgin, we enjoyed learning about wine, distillery, and coffee roasting. However, we wish we had more time to visit even more wineries and distilleries. Until next time.
I would love to hear about your favorite travel adventures in Sonoita and Elgin.
If you are struggling with creating a balanced life. How about hiring a leadership, life, or career coach like me to help you work through the daily challenges, and continue moving forward to where you want to be with your life.
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