As a Leadership, Work-Life Balance Coach, and Reiki Practitioner, I want to help managers and supervisors reduce their overwhelm, stress, anxiety, overload before burnout or health issues occur. Bring some peace and tranquility into their chaotic lives.
Reiki is a powerful practice to help with relaxation, stress-relief, lower anxiety, and overworked mind chatter. Spending time relaxing and letting go of the week’s overloaded and complicated tasks. A Reiki session can make all the difference from keeping you balanced and your mind in peace and harmony so you can be more productive and calm during those stressful moments at work and home.
What is Reiki?
Reiki is a Japanese technique for relaxation, which also promotes healing. Reiki’s performed through touch, or hands are hovering over someone or from a distance. Warm and soothing energy flows from the practitioner’s hands into the recipient, promoting relaxation and releasing tension.
It’s easy to neglect yourself when your career demands 24/7 access to you, however taking time out makes life more enjoyable for you, your staff, friends, and the family. You are a much more stable personality when you take some me-time. Also, when you are relaxed, your mind has time to rest. When your mind relaxes, it has time to rejuvenate; that’s when good ideas and problem-solving happen.
How about having a Distant Reiki Session? Click on the “Schedule Now” Button and choose either a 30-minute Distant Reiki Session or a 60-minute – Distant Reiki Session.
My Business Coach Cheryl Thacker recently posted this story; the author is unknown, and it touched me deeply, and I would like to share it with you.
Here’s the story:
Before he died, a father said to his son, “Here is a watch that your grandfather gave me. It is almost 200 years old. Before I give it to you, go to the jewelry store and tell them that I want to sell it, and see how much they offer you.” The son went to the jewelry store, came back to his father, and said, “They offered $150.00 because it’s so old.” The father said, “Go to the pawnshop.” The son went to the pawnshop, came back to his father, and said, “The pawnshop offered $10.00 because it looks so worn.” The father asked his son to go to the museum and show them the watch. He went to the museum, came back, and said to his father, “The curator offered $500,000.00 for this rare piece to include in their precious antique collections.” The father said, “I wanted to let you know that the right place values you in the right way. Don’t find yourself in the wrong place and get angry if you are not valued. Those that know your value are those who appreciate you, don’t stay in a place where nobody sees your value.”
I’m sure many of you can relate to the end of the story and felt it.
The right place values you in the right way. Don’t find yourself in the wrong place and get angry if you are not valued. Those that know your value are those who appreciate you, don’t stay in a place where nobody sees your value. ~ unknown
Many of us have worked or currently work in industries where being criticized, under-appreciated, under-minded, devalued, flaws and mistakes are pointed out and not forgiven.
The mind games can bring people to their knees, break them down and destroy good honest people.
Like the story, if a job or career is slowly killing you, it’s time to start putting together a strategy exit plan into action and go somewhere you’re valued. Be with people who light you up and appreciate your talents and contributions.
If you would like to talk about your work situation with me, schedule a discovery session with me; click on the “Schedule Now” button below.
It is time to hire – A valuable team member who has taken another position, and it is time to start the hiring process for their job. You think you won’t be able to find someone else who could bring as much value to the workplace or be a nightmare of “The What If’s.”
As a Manager, hiring can be challenging and stressful at the same time. Thoughts run through your head of “The What if’s.”
What if’s – I choose the wrong person for the position. They have interviewed well and know what to say, but they are not coachable or have a toxic attitude towards customers, coworkers, and me when they come in.
Yes, hiring someone may be stressful for you, your team, and the interviewee. Wanting to make the right decision can at times overtake you. Relax, pause and take time to clear your mind to reason. You don’t have to make the final decision in one day. List the pros and cons of the top two candidates. What did they communicate from the interview and resume (CV), and what strengths does the team want and need from the potential candidate to make the team unit more substantial and more efficient? What expertise does this candidate bring that can help the team succeed.
Things to consider in the hiring process:
Have a least one team member in the first interview.
How about bringing back the two top candidates for a second interview and have them interact with your team.
Have team members go over the job duties and show them an average day on the job. Candidates feel at ease when with a team member and may open up more.
After their interaction with the candidate, have them meet with you again informally to ask questions they may have. Putting this into action will tell you a lot the more relaxed they are and get more of a feel of their personality.
Later after the top two candidates have come back for the second interview and met with staff, ask the staff what their thoughts are. Remember they have to work with this person. Their opinions are priceless because they could save a lot of damage to you and the team in the end, and this is where trust and honesty come into play. Do they feel comfortable telling you how they think? Do they feel safe to express their opinions?
Now you have the ultimate decision and are responsible for it. If you have communicated well with your team, and understand that and respect your decision. Your employees need to know that you appreciate their feedback and respect their perspectives.
Some employees may feel more comfortable giving feedback privately, and sometimes the team may want a group meeting to share their thoughts with you. That is where you know you have a team that cares about the job and the work environment and you as their leader.
If you are blessed to have this hiring practice and employees honest feedback, it is rare in a workplace. As a manager or supervisor, you want to strive for this kind of teamwork and work environment.
If you would like to schedule one-on-one coaching sessions with me, click on the “Schedule Now” Button Below.
I’m sure we have all meet someone who seems to have it all together and projects they have a perfect life. They post all this fun and fabulous stuff on Facebook about their life. They have a great career, a huge house, a brand new car, and a loving home life from appearances, then, later on, you find out it was all a show.
What about a leader that appears to be perfect?
Is anyone genuinely perfect? Hell no, we all have quirks, habits, personalities that may rub someone the wrong way at times and make mistakes; that is what a human does.
Do you respect someone who looks and acts like they are perfect, or do you question their authenticity?
Who do you respect more, someone who is a hot mess but holds it all together or a fake perfect person that is always looking to make a great impression?
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you should scatter all your dirty laundry around at work. However, when someone comes across as always perfect and doesn’t make mistakes, it leaves suspicion and lack of trust. By not showing your human side, it is hard to build lasting relationships. You may be called a fair-weather person.
What makes a good leader is they admit they are imperfect and care about doing a good job, the staff, their coworkers, and customers.
What are your thoughts? 🦋 Does perfection equal an outstanding leader? 🦋 Or something completely different?
This month’s topic theme is going to be about burnout. Has it ever happened to you? It is not fun, but it is becoming more common for people in management positions and high demanding careers.
I came across this movie, “Sweet Home Carolina,” on Tubi. It starts with Diane sitting in her office, not answering her office phone, and hyperventilating into a brown bag.
Burnout is what happens when the soul whispering against an unhealthy job or relationship. – Dr. Dina Glouberman
Diane is an Advertising Executive, and her personal life is a mess. She works long hours and has a habit of picking up her youngest child late from school. Her oldest teenage daughter is angry with her over the divorce of her parents and blames Diane. Diane is receiving collection notices in the mail. She is a train wreck ready to happen. Family dinners consist of frozen lasagna and Diane drinking a few glasses of wine before going to bed.
Don’t get so busy making a living, that you forget to make a life. – Dolly Parton
When Diane thought her life couldn’t get any worst. Her boss called her into his office and gave away her biggest client to a coworker. Then told her she needed to take some time off (permanently). A life preserver happened; her Aunt, who recently passed away, left her a house in a small town in South Carolina. The stipulations were taking care of her Aunt’s dog and living in the house for a year. She subleased her home in Los Angeles, and she and her daughters moved.
Don’t accept burnout as the price or definition of success. – Jon Acuff
The demanding career, the big house, and a fancy car is not everything. What makes true happiness? In Diane’s case, she realized that most important to her was a loving, respectful relationship with her daughters, a good man who loved her deeply, and a small town of caring people.
Sometimes we choose a career because of the large paycheck and later realize the job has cost us more than we bargained. No social life, no friends, damaged love life, estranged family, health problems, a lack of purpose, and what happened to my enthusiasm and happiness?
Think about your life. Is this the way I want my story to end?
During these uncertain and stressful times, more than ever, we need joy in our daily lives. Whether at work or home. A smile can change someone’s day from gloomy to joyful; showing some compassion when a coworker is at their breaking point or providing a little laughter can help everyone get through these unusual circumstances.
A good laugh heals a lot of hurts. — Madeleine L’Engle
What are the benefits of laughter in the workplace?
Laughter can lower stress and boredom, strengthen the immune system, and enhance team engagement, collaboration, creativity, and well-being. It relaxes the body and defuses conflict.
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. — Victor Borge
How can you brighten someone’s day with a little laughter?
When were some times you and your team laugh at work?
What can you do to encourage laughter in the workplace?
Lately, I have been hearing that the “new” working from home has been very hard for some. They are saying they are working more hours then if they were in the office and it is leading to burnout and frustration.
Burnout is not fun. When you reach that point, you are exhausted physically, emotionally and mentally. Sometimes, you don’t even realize what happened. You have changed within. You feel confused, angry, and so tired of everything and everyone and no patience.
How did you get to this point?
High-achievers should continually be on the lookout for the warning signs of burnout because they don’t always see it coming. The doers are passionate about their work progress and tend to work long hours. They take on heavier workloads and put high expectations on themselves, which may lead to burnout if not monitored by pausing with some self-care techniques. Trying to be everything and anything to everyone, putting work 24/7 above rest, relaxation, a little fun, family, and friends. That’s how.
Is there a way to reverse it. Of course, but you have to take some time away from work mentally, emotionally, and physically. Not stepping away for a while could cost you your career, health, and relationships.
“Sometimes it takes an overwhelming breakdown to have an undeniable breakthrough”. ~ unknown
What is burnout?
It is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress.
What are some warn signs?
🦋 Cynical, critical, pessimism, anger or irritable at work
🦋 Disliking the job, forcing yourself to get up and go to work or having a hard time getting started
🦋 Irritable or impatient with others, coworker, boss, customers or clients
🦋 Lack of energy or low productivity or chronic fatigue or loss of appetite
🦋 No focus, mind wanders, forgetfulness, or hard to concentrate
🦋 No satisfaction from achievements, feeling unappreciated for all the extra work effort
🦋 Feelings of disillusionment about career, isolation, depression, and anxiety
🦋 Using alcohol, drugs, or food to feel better or not to feel at all
🦋 Change in sleeping patterns, maybe insomnia or oversleeping
If not addressed, burnout can leave people feeling empty, exhausted, depressed, and unable to deal with daily life’s demands.
How to change?
🦋 Focus on your recent and past accomplishments 🦋 Stop self-criticizing yourself and others 🦋 Create a happy space to spend time in for self-reflection, meditation, and prayer 🦋 Make and write in a daily gratitude journal
Change your workflow! 🦋 Stop multitasking and focus on one task at a time towards completion 🦋 Take regular breaks 🦋 Limit working overtime 🦋 Journal about things that are bothering you and come up with solutions to resolve them.
If you are experiencing some of these symptoms, it’s time to take some action to reverse it. Self-reflect and make some changes to reduce stress and anxiety. Take control of your workload and have reasonable expectations about what is achievable.
Do you have a happy place?
If yes, where is it? I would love to hear about your happy place. If no, why not?
Sometimes in our careers, we have all worked with someone unprofessional. They may come across like they don’t care, don’t even know how to behave in a professional setting, or even realize their behavior is unprofessional. How do most people usually respond? Avoidance! They would rather avoid the situation instead of addressing the unprofessionalism. Why? Because it is uncomfortable. Whether new or experienced, many supervisors shy away from confrontation, thinking that the behavior will go away. However, in most cases, the behavior gets worse when it’s not dealt with and continues.
Is there a way to help or mentor them?
Yes, of course, there is, by addressing the behavior. People can’t change if they don’t know their behavior is displeasing.
🦋 Calmly explain to the unprofessional person how to be treated with respect. Give an example of what is respectful and courteous.
Here are some examples:
“When you roll your eyes at me while I am speaking to you, this makes me feel disrespected. ”
“When you don’t respond to me with an answer, I feel frustrated and ignored. Please respond promptly.” (In this example, it could be in person, email, text, etc.)
Beneath every behavior there is a feeling. And beneath each feeling is a need. And when we meet that need rather than focus on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause, not the symptom. ~ Ashleigh Warner
If we are all honest, there are times in our careers when we have been unprofessional. A coworker pushed us over the edge with a passive-aggressive comment. The harsh boss that embarrassed you in front of your peers or a group meeting and yelled at everyone because of one coworker’s lousy behavior and ruins everyone’s day. An argument in a staff meeting went over the top.
I think this is one of the most challenging aspects of any job when working with the public or collaborating with coworkers. “How do I respond to unprofessional people?”
There are numerous reasons. Coworkers can be defensive, rude, sarcastic, have their own agenda, and be plain difficult. Some even enjoy causing workplace drama and spreading rumors. They get high while watching the sh*t fly as the tension builds and the hostility grows around them.
We spend more time with our coworkers than with family. Coworkers sometimes know us better than we know ourselves. Some even like to push our buttons so that we will react unfavorably.
Some people don’t have speaking filters. They talk at the same time as the thoughts enter their head. They don’t even know what they said was unkind, disrespectful, or demeaning. Some people, you can’t approach them about their unprofessional behavior as a coworker. You may need to discuss the situation with your supervisor.
How can you make the most of it?
Before you approach the unprofessional person:
Think about how they will respond.
Have a plan of action on how to communicate with recommended solutions.
Will they accept the feedback or react unfavorably towards you.
No matter how awful someone treats you. Stop, reflect, and walk away. I know it is hard to walk away when emotions overtake you. However, just because you don’t react, it doesn’t mean you didn’t notice the behavior or accept it. The only way to stop a toxic person is not to engage with them. Address the situation later when you both have time to think it over and calm down, not in the heat of the moment. Choose your battles carefully. Sometimes responding in anger makes you look like a fool in front of others.
Reflect on your career.
🦋 What were some of your experiences dealing with unprofessional?
🦋 What did you learn from these experiences?
Did you find this helpful? If so, please share this blog post with others! Comments are always welcome.
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I am sure everyone has had a life situation where we wish we told someone how we truly felt. Whether it was a childhood crush or wished we spoke up at a group meeting or knew something was happening that wasn’t right.
Fear can immobilize us not to act. Then Guilt or regret lingers on and on inside of us. It may continue throughout our lifetime. Guilt or shame can leave us feeling empty, unsatisfied, or longing for something we didn’t have the guts to pursue. We all probably heard the old saying, “Time heals all wounds.”Does it really?
“Time Heals All Wounds.” Does it really?
Some wounds will never heal until addressed. I know this is easier said than done.
How many of us have been ghosted sometime in our life?
It may have been a relationship, a job offer, a networking acquaintance, or a business deal.
Did you want to know the reason why?
Unfortunately, most of the time, a reason why will never come.
Overthinking about the situation can really take a toll on a person. It may cause depression, anger, suicidal thoughts, sadness, ulcers, overwhelm, uncontrollable crying, anxiety attacks, and so much more.
“Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.” ~ Roy T. Bennett
Time may soften the disappointment, regret, and hurt, but it’s still there deep down inside. Time is not the healer; it is the inner work of dealing with the emotions that heals you. Healing requires constant mental work of positive self-talk and the ability to let it go.
How do you get over it and move on?
🦋 Recite positive affirmations for healing and to eliminate negative thoughts.
🦋 Create a gratitude journal. Every day in the journal, write one to three things you are grateful for in your daily life.
🦋 Be aware of your emotions and feelings. Work on halting the complaining and overthinking about the situation.
🦋 Spend time with positive, happy, and motivated people.
🦋 Pick your battles. Sometimes chasing the person may cause more damage to you. If the recipient doesn’t want to hear from you, they won’t respond. Start focusing on want you want in life.
🦋 Hire a life coach or therapist to help you let go of the hurt and disappointment.
“Your peace is more important than driving yourself crazy trying to understand why something happened the way it did. Let it go!” ~ Mandy Hale
Isn’t it time to be happy? Being upset, angry, and overthinking really isn’t working. Love yourself and those around you enough to let it go. A huge part of healing is believing you deserve a better life of peace, joy, and love. ~ Patti 🦋
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Lately, I have been hearing this phrase when people are talking about their coworkers.
Don’t be that guy!
Employers and staff may use this term when someone has committed bad behavior or done something procedurally wrong. In some organizations, they use this term “Don’t be that (Guy) Person” for humiliation or an example of what not to do. The poster child of what not to be in the workplace.
Is shaming an effective management strategy?
Some say yes because it represents what not to do in the workplace and halts people from doing it.
How does “Don’t be that Person” cope with being the scapegoat?
Some quit some stay and deal with the whispering behind their backs and the harsh judgment while others checkout (isolate themselves).
Maybe some organizations want this type of shaming to keep things under control. If so, something is wrong. Someone once told me you live in a fantasy world if you think this type of management strategy will change.
What do you think?
Comments are welcome. What are your thoughts on this topic?