Posted in Blog, Business Inspiration, Career Inspiration, Inspirational Moments, Leadership Inspiration, Personal Inspiration, Work-Life balance

How to Deal with Words Left Unsaid

I am sure every single one of us has had a life situation where we wish we told someone how we truly felt. Whether it was a childhood crush or wishing we spoke up at a group meeting or knew something was happening that wasn’t right.

Fear can immobilize us not to act. Then guilt or regret lingers on and on inside of us. This may continue throughout our lifetime. Guilt or regret can leave us feeling empty, unsatisfied or longing for something we didn’t have the guts to pursue. We all probably heard the old saying “Time heals all wounds.” Does it really?

“Time Heals All Wounds.” Does it really?

There are some wounds that will never heal, until they are dealt with. I know this is easier said then done.

How many of us have been ghosted sometime in our life?

It may have been a relationship, a job offer, a networking acquaintance or a business deal.

Did you want to know the reason why?

Unfortunately, most of the time a reason why, will never come.

Overthinking about the situation can really take a toll on a person. It may cause depression, anger, suicidal thoughts, sadness, ulcers, overwhelm, uncontrollable crying, anxiety attacks and so much more.

Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.” ~ Roy T. Bennett

Time may soften the disappointment, regret and hurt, but it’s still there deep down inside. Time is not the healer, it is the inner work of dealing with the emotions that heals you. Healing requires constant mental work of positive self talk and the ability of letting it go.

How do you get over it and move on?

Recite positive affirmations for healing and to eliminate negative thoughts.

Create a gratitude journal. Everyday in the journal write one to three things you are grateful for in your daily life.

Be aware of your emotions and feelings. Work on halting the complaining and overthinking about the situation.

Spend time with positive, happy and motivated people.

Pick your battles. Sometimes chasing the person may cause more damage to you. If the recipient doesn’t want to hear from you they won’t respond. Start focusing on want you really want in life.

Hire a life coach or therapist to help you let go of the hurt and disappointment.

“Your peace is more important than driving yourself crazy trying to understand why something happened the way it did. Let it go!” ~ Mandy Hale

Takeaway:

Isn’t it time to be happy. Being upset, angry and overthinking really isn’t working. Love yourself and those around you enough to let it go. A huge part of healing is believing you deserve a better life of peace, joy and love. ~ Patti

Did you find this helpful?  If so, please share this blog post with others!  Comments are always welcome.  You may use your initials or anonymous for your name, if this makes you feel more comfortable to comment.     Thank you for following and supporting me.

Want some positive affirmations for daily encouragement. Click here to purchase the Work/Life Balance Affirmation Cards.

Interested in one to one coaching with me?  
I have coaching packages available.  Contact me at patti@coachingforinspirationwithpatti.com

How about creating Harmony in Your Life; click on the link to purchase the  21- Days Optimal Work/Life Balance Workshop.

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Work-Life Balance Hacks for Busy Leaders who LOVE their Career but Want MORE in Life!  This mini course is for leaders who are crazy busy, working 24/7 and want something more in life beyond their career.  

Posted in Blog, Business Inspiration, Career Inspiration, Leadership Inspiration, Personal Inspiration

Don’t Be That (Guy) Person!

Lately, I have been hearing this phrase when people are talking about their coworkers.

Dont be that guy! 

Employers and staff may use this term when someone has committed bad behavior or done something procedurally wrong.  In some organizations they use this term Dont be that (Guy) Person for humiliation or an example of what not to do. The poster child of what not to be in the workplace.

Is shaming an affective management strategy? 

Some say yes, because it represents what not to do in the workplace and halts people from doing it.

How does the “Don’t be that Person” cope with being the scapegoat?

Some quit, some stay and deal with the whispering behind their backs and the harsh judgement while others totally checkout (isolate themselves).

Maybe some organizations want this type of shaming to keep things under control.  If so, something is definitely wrong.  Someone once told me you live in a fantasy world if you think this type of management strategy will change. 

What do you think?


Comments are welcome. What are your thoughts on this topic?

For more information about Becoming a Better Leader [e-Book] Click here to download your copy.

Posted in Blog, Business Inspiration, Career Inspiration, Leadership Inspiration, Personal Inspiration, Video, Work-Life balance

Patti Answering Leadership and Work-Life Balance Questions [Video]

The Coaches Lounge Group

Do you have any Leadership or Work-Life Balance questions? If yes, please reply below and I will answer them. Recorded live unedited.

Did you find this helpful?  If so, please share this blog post with others!  Comments are always welcome.    Thank you for following and supporting me.

For more information about Becoming a Better Leader [e-Book] Click here to download your copy.

Work-Life Balance Hacks for Busy Leaders who LOVE their Career but Want MORE in Life!  This mini course is for leaders who are crazy busy, working 24/7 and want something more in life beyond their career.  7 easy hacks to create some personal life balance in this so-called busy life! Enroll today for $25.00

Interested in one to one coaching with me?  
I have coaching packages available.  Contact me at patti@coachingforinspirationwithpatti.com

Posted in Blog, Business Inspiration, Career Inspiration, Leadership Inspiration, Personal Inspiration

How Can We Show Up As Better Leaders?

A couple of weeks ago, a friend was telling me about her work situation and why she decided to give her notice. She brightens up people’s days with her friendly demeanor. She worked at the front desk. Having a friendly employee as the first contact with your customers is crucial. Customers will continue to come if they feel welcome, the same for employees.

Why do good employees leave?

A shortage of appreciation, praise, acknowledgement, or recognition from management

Manager only pointing out what went wrong

Lack of trust in employees

Bad communication – Not sharing important information or changes in company policies

Unsatisfied relationships with coworkers and/or management

Employee feeling unchallenged or bored with their work

The organization culture or the companies vision

Little growth and no promotional opportunities

Blatant employee favoritism

Lack of work-life balance, being over-worked, feeling over-stressed and having no work boundaries (on duty 24/7)

How can we show up as a better leader and save good employees?

Build a trusting environment. Give opportunities for employees to learn new tasks and give them clear verbal instructions with written procedures. When a situation arises be truthful. Come up with the right solution together. Acknowledge good work performance. Share policies changes in person and written form. Be open to answering employees’ questions. Care about the job and value staff.

Did you find this helpful? If so, please share this blog post with others! Comments are always welcome. You may use your initials oranonymous for your name if this makes you feel more comfortable to comment. Thank you for following and supporting me.

For more information about Becoming a Better Leader [e-Book] Click here to download your copy.

Work-Life Balance Hacks for Busy Leaders who LOVE their Career but Want MORE in Life!  This mini course is for leaders who are crazy busy, working 24/7 and want something more in life beyond their career.  7 easy hacks to create some personal life balance in this so-called busy life! Enroll today for $25.00

Interested in one to one coaching with me?  
I have coaching packages available.  Contact me at patti@coachingforinspirationwithpatti.com

Posted in Blog, Inspirational Moments, Personal Inspiration, Work-Life balance

Does A Worry Stone Really Banish Anxiety and Stress?

As a leadership and work-life balance coach, I am always open to new ways to banish stress and anxiety and sharing different techniques with others. In today’s blog post, I will be discussing worry stones and the method of rubbing away stress and anxiety.

The practice of rubbing worry stones has been around for centuries. When I was a kid, instead of worry stones, there were pet rocks and colored stones. I have always enjoyed looking at rocks by stopping, picking up the stones and admiring them. Their beautiful shapes, sizes, and colors.

What are some other common names for worry stones?
Fidget stones, feeling stones, soothing stones, sensory stones and thumb stones.

According to Wikipedia the origins of worry stones:
As a folk practice implement, worry stones have many origins. Variations on the concept originate in ancient GreeceTibetIreland, and multiple Native American tribes. The concept of a worry stone began by the simple action of picking a smooth stone and fiddling with the stone.[3] Worry stones made by sea water were generally used by Ancient Greeks.[4] Native American tribes would continuously give them to younger generations, creating a sense of connection from previous family members.[3] They also believed these worry stones were considered a sacred item and they were extra special if they were made out of quartz.[4]

What is a Worry Stone?
A worry stone is a smooth flat rock about the size of a thumb. When rubbing the stone between thumb and fingers, it has a calming effect. The stones are small enough to carry around in your pocket or purse. Stones come in all different colors, sizes, shapes and minerals. They can be river stones, crystals, sea glass, tumbled gems or a smooth flat rock from your backyard. You can purchase stones at craft and arts stores, amazon, mineral-rock shops and rock and gems shows. Some worry stones have an indent inside the size of a thumb. Other stones may have inspirational quotes, one-word sayings, affirmations, religious symbols, etc. Also, painting flat rocks is another way to relax and a way to make the stone more personal to fit your personality or style.

I recently watched a YouTube video called DIY Worry Stones on how to make worry stones from colored baked clay.

How Do You Use A Worry Stone?
Place the flat stone in your hand between your thumb and index finger and rub the stone back and forth.

Does Rubbing on a Worry Stone Help Reduce Anxiety and Stress?
A worry stone works as a form of reflexology or nerve pressure when rubbed. While rubbing the stone it touches the reflex areas in your thumb and fingers creating a sensation of relaxation and calm within the body. Reflexology is commonly known for applying gentle pressing on certain parts of the body, usually on the feet.

My stone:
It is a smooth clear thumb size stone. I purchased it at a mineral-rock store. I like the feel of it in my hand. I do rub it from time to time. When using the worry stone, I will switch up my hands while rubbing it. Using just your dominant hand is fine.

When are good times to rub a worry stone?

While sitting at a doctor’s office.

Before taking a test.

Before giving a presentation.

When feeling anxious or upset.

While a customer is yelling at you on the phone.

Before delivering bad news.

While contemplating on a big decision or large purchase.

Before going to sleep.

Does it work?
For me, it is a pleasant distraction because I am focusing on rubbing the stone and it does help me gain a new perspective.

For others, I think it depends on the individual and being open to the process. When taking those few moments of rubbing the stone, it can settle the mind.

Takeaway:
Carrying a worry stone around with you, especially when feelings of anxiety, anger, or frustration occur. By rubbing your thumb and fingers across the stone it will hit reflex areas and the movement relaxes your mind, body, and spirit.

Please share your answers to the following questions in the comments below:

Have you rubbed a worry stone? 

What was your experience like? 

When do you use your worry stone?

What color is it?

How did you chose it?

Share a photo of your stone.

If not,  After reading this blog post would you try one?

Did you find this helpful?  If so, please share this blog post with others!  Comments are always welcome.  You may use your initials or anonymous for your name, if this makes you feel more comfortable to comment.     Thank you for following and supporting me.

Interested in one to one coaching with me?  
I have coaching packages available.  Contact me at patti@coachingforinspirationwithpatti.com

Posted in Blog, Business Inspiration, Career Inspiration, Leadership Inspiration, Personal Inspiration, Podcasts

Podcast Episode 11 – Tips and Tricks When Working With Someone You Dont Like!

Angela and Patti share communication tips at work.  How to stay in a job and manage difficult relationships.  How to ask yourself the questions to determine how to manage your emotions.  

Podcast Episode 11 – Tips and Tricks When Working With Someone You Don’t Like!

What does this meme tell you?

Take a look at yourself.  
Is the relationship problem really you?  
What is it about this person that triggers you?  
Is it past behavior? Do they remind you of someone?  Do they remind you of something you dont like within yourself?

Angela: Is this a group issue or is it an issue just for you. Do others in workplace share your issue? This points to something missing in the group environment.

Use the PAUSE and REFLECT Technique
PAUSE for three to five seconds before responding.  This gives you time to change your response or dont respond at all.

What if you receive a nasty passive/aggressive email from your boss or coworker?  
Before responding back to the email.  Write out your response.  Dont send it!  Walk away for awhile.  Sleep on it, if you dont have to respond within the same day.  Then rewrite it when you have calmed down.  Have someone else read it that you trust to help tone it down before hitting the send button. 

What to consider:

Should I stay at my current employment or move on?

Make a list of “why to stay” and “why to go”.  Be upfront and honest. No holding back from the truth of the matter! Look at which column has the most reasons?  Make your decision from there.  Is there more good reason to stay?  Or reasons to leave.  

For more information about Becoming a Better Leader [e-Book]  Click here to download your copy.

Here are other blog posts from Patti to explore.

How to Incorporate Pause into Leadership https://wp.me/p3W3dA-VCY

Feeling Stuck in a Dead-End Job?  https://wp.me/p3W3dA-UTu

Warning Signs – Is It Time To Look For Another Job? https://wp.me/p3W3dA-UWs

Are you interested in one to one coaching with Patti?  I have coaching packages available.  Contact Patti at patti@coachingforinspirationwithpatti.com

Are you interested in one on one coaching with Angela? Angela has one on one coaching program called Transformed Relationships, you can book a Relationship Clarity Call at https://loveandrelationshipcoach.setmore.com and discover more about the program.

If you have a relationship topic you would like us to discuss, please email your relationship topic to BBRatHomeandWork@gmail.com

If you found this podcast helpful. Please share with others. Push the like button on Anchor and leave us an encouraging review.  Listener support is very much appreciated. Thank you for listening!

Angela and I would like to thank  Anchor for hosting this podcast.

Want even more tips about creating better relationships? Come join our Facebook group called Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela & Patti Facebook Group

Posted in Blog, Business Inspiration, Career Inspiration, Facebook Live, Leadership Inspiration, Personal Inspiration

Facebook Live Today – Have You Ever Worked With Someone You Dont Like?

Come check us out today on Facebook at the Building Better Relationships at Home and Work Facebook group page.

Here is the link below to watch:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/351340705675175

Here are the dates and time zones to catch it live.

July 23, 2019
5:30 PM Pacific Standard Time
6:30 PM Mountain Standard Time
7:30 PM Central Standard Time
8:30 PM Eastern Standard Time
July 24, 2019
10:30 AM Sydney, Australia Time

If you miss the Live Event you can always watch it later on the Facebook group page.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/351340705675175

OR

To listen to our monthly podcasts click below:

Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela & Patti Podcast

To contact us with topic suggestions or questions, email us at
BBRatHomeandWork@gmail.com

Posted in Blog, Business Inspiration, Career Inspiration, Inspirational Moments, Leadership Inspiration, Personal Inspiration

How to Incorporate Pause into Leadership

As a leader, have you stopped, pause, and reflected before reacting? I know this can be difficult at times, especially when in the middle of a crisis. We want to resolve the problem as quickly as possible. When pausing, we won’t jump immediately into the wrong conclusion.

Incorporating the Art of Pause into Leadership:

The PAUSE and REFLECT Technique
When at work and someone is rude to you. Or you dont agree with them. Pause for three to five seconds before responding. Pausing will give you time to reframe your reply or decide not to respond at all.

Pause, Reflect and Dont send an email response you will regret!
I think everyone has sent an email they regretted sending sometime or another.

What if you receive a nasty passive/aggressive email?
Before responding to the email. Write out your reply. Dont send it and walk away. If possible sleep on it. Then rewrite the email response, when you have calmed down. Have someone else read it to help tone down the language before hitting the send button.

“Anger doesn’t solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything”. – unknown

Don’t get me wrong as a leader. There are times you have to be direct with employees for them to improve their work performance. We can’t ignore the situation and let it continue. Have a plan on how to address it. Write it out and practice what and how to say it. There are also times when you do need to respond immediately and make a quick decision. When possible, take the opportunity to pause and reflect. What is happening around you? It may change your approach and captivate a great solution.

Discussion Questions:

What are your thoughts about the art of pause?

How will you incorporate it into your leadership style?

Comments are always welcome. You can always use your initials oranonymous for your name, if this makes you feel more comfortable to respond. Did you find this helpful? if so, please share this blog post with your colleagues, friends, and family on all your social networks! Thank you.

For more information about Becoming a Better Leader [e-Book]Click here to download your copy.

Do you want even more work-life balance strategies? Come and join the Facebook group calledWork-Life Balance with Patti

Are you interested in one to one coaching with me? I have coaching packages available. Contact me at patti@coachingforinspirationwithpatti.com

Work-Life Balance Hacks for Busy Leaders who LOVE their Career but Want MORE in Life!

This mini course is for leaders who are crazy busy, working 24/7 and want something more in life beyond their career. 7 easy hacks to create some personal life balance in this so-called busy life!

Enroll today for $25.00

Posted in Blog, Business Inspiration, Career Inspiration, Inspirational Moments, Leadership Inspiration, Personal Inspiration, Polls

Tips on How to Reverse Rude Behavior in Meetings

As a leader having efficient and effective meetings are so important to every aspect of running a successful business. Meetings that aren’t productive are a waste of valuable time and cost the company money.

Have you ever been in a meeting and there is at least one person or all attendees that have nothing positive to say about anything?

I remember one day I finally snapped in a meeting. My leader wasn’t listening and was talking over of me, while I was trying to explain why my team needed some technical help. So I started raising my voice over my leader. I was so upset with myself. That day I came to realize this isn’t for me and I didn’t like being push to respond that way. I knew that this was the norm for the group, always trying to one-up, and I didn’t want to play anymore. I started putting my exit plan into action, it was time for me to remove myself from working there.

What are rude behaviors in meetings?

  • Interrupting the person speaking
  • Not listening, acting bored or lack of engagement
  • Being disrespectful to the speaker
  • Two people talking privately among themselves while someone else is speaking
  • People are just plain hostile to each other
  • Arguing over whose point is right
  • Over talking each other
  • Sarcastic mean comments to the speaker or each other
  • Being very judgmental to each other
  • One-upping each other
  • Participants taking everything that is said very personally due to the hostile interaction
  • Embarrassing the host or leader with maliciousremarks

I have been in group meetings where all of these actions have happened, been the target, and been a participant of some of these disrespectful behaviors. I am not proud about the way I acted, discourteousand unprofessional at times, but that was acceptable to be heard. Was this behavior a way to conquer and get what was needed? Not really. Did anything get resolved? Most of the time nothing was accomplished.

What lesson did I learn? I wanted things to be different and I probably cared too much. I was tired, beaten down, disrespected, and unhappy with the results. I knew that nothing was going to change in these meetings and I had to either accept it, change my thinking or leave.

On the bright side my team at the time had a code of conduct for our meetings. People were respectful to each other and follow them. If someone didn’t follow the code of conduct including me, the team would call you out on it. Things got resolved and people felt heard.

What happened to common courtesy, collaboration and respectfulness towards each other?

How can we change the behavior? I believe it takes one person at a time, and the leader to lead by example and reverse this unprofessional behavior.

Here are some tips:

  • Set up rules of conduct for meeting(s). Go over them at the beginning of each meeting as a reminder. Have the code of conduct on the agenda template. As time goes on with the same group of attendees, the code of conduct will not have to be quoted every time, because it is on the agenda. I would recommend that if you have a new person attending the meeting to read the code of conduct at the beginning of the meeting.
  • When someone says something negative, turn to them and say something positive about the topic or person.
  • When someone intentionally breaks meeting etiquette, politely remind them or refer to the code of conduct.
  • As the leader focus on following the code of conduct, leading by example, and positive meeting etiquette will become achievable by all participants.
  • Redirect the “off topic” discussions to be addressed later.

Takeaway:

Having a set code of conduct and behavior etiquette is so important to running successful meetings. Being courteous and respectful allows everyone to speak, to be heard, participate, engage and this is whengreat results will happen. Be organized and prepared. As a leader, we lead by example and if we are not focused and engaged; our employees will not be either. ~ Patti

Comments are always welcome. You can always use your initials oranonymous for your name, if this makes you feel more comfortable to respond. Did you find this helpful? If so, please share this blog post with your colleagues, friends, and family on all your social networks! Thank you.

For more information about Becoming a Better Leader [e-Book]Click here to download your copy.

Are you interested in one to one coaching with me? I have coaching packages available. Contact me at patti@coachingforinspirationwithpatti.com