Posted in Blog, Business Inspiration, Career Inspiration, Leadership Inspiration, Personal Inspiration

Don’t Be That (Guy) Person!

Lately, I have been hearing this phrase when people are talking about their coworkers.

Don’t be that guy! 

Employers and staff may use this term when someone has committed bad behavior or done something procedurally wrong.  In some organizations they use this term “Don’t be that (Guy) Person” for humiliation or an example of what not to do. The poster child of what not to be in the workplace.

Is shaming an affective management strategy? 

Some say yes, because it represents what not to do in the workplace and halts people from doing it.

How does the “Don’t be that Person” cope with being the scapegoat?

Some quit, some stay and deal with the whispering behind their backs and the harsh judgement while others totally checkout (isolate themselves).

Maybe some organizations want this type of shaming to keep things under control.  If so, something is definitely wrong.  Someone once told me you live in a fantasy world if you think this type of management strategy will change. 

What do you think?


Comments are welcome. What are your thoughts on this topic?

For more information about Becoming a Better Leader [e-Book] Click here to download your copy.

Posted in Blog, Business Inspiration, Career Inspiration, Leadership Inspiration, Personal Inspiration, Video, work-life balance

Patti Answering Leadership and Work-Life Balance Questions [Video]

The Coaches Lounge Group

Do you have any Leadership or Work-Life Balance questions? If yes, please reply below and I will answer them. Recorded live unedited. 🦋

Did you find this helpful?  If so, please share this blog post with others!  Comments are always welcome.    Thank you for following and supporting me.

For more information about Becoming a Better Leader [e-Book] Click here to download your copy.

Work-Life Balance Hacks for Busy Leaders who LOVE their Career but Want MORE in Life!  This mini course is for leaders who are crazy busy, working 24/7 and want something more in life beyond their career.  7 easy hacks to create some personal life balance in this so-called busy life! Enroll today for $25.00

Interested in one to one coaching with me?  
I have coaching packages available.  Contact me at patti@coachingforinspirationwithpatti.com

Posted in Blog, Inspirational Moments, Personal Inspiration

Drumming Out the STRESS?

I was watching my grandchildren one-day last week and one of the toys we have is a child’s drum with percussions. My Mom bought it for my granddaughter last Christmas. My granddaughter loves it. We had a good jam session with it. She loves music and dancing around. She smiles so big and dances endlessly. It is so joyful to watch.

Being a leadership and work-life balance coach, I am always looking for new ways to release stress and to share these different methods. A couple of years ago one of my good friends told me about drum circles she attended and that they relieve stress. I’ve been thinking about going to a drum circle for a while and wanted to try it out.

So the adventure began. I found a drum circle on www.meetup.com and signed up to go. I asked my husband if he would accompany me. (He really needed to release some stress!) He looked at me with apprehension and said what is it? I explained that a drum circle is where everyone beats on a drum. I wanted to check it out to see how it helps to reduce stress levels and possibly write a blog post about the experience. He was hesitant at first. I said, oh come on let’s make it an adventure. He said okay. 🙂

Photo by Dmitrij Makovejev from Pexels

When we arrived, there were all different sizes of African drums to pick from. The instructor showed us how to hold the drums correctly. Both of us picked a tall drum to sit with between our legs to play. The participants sat in either chair or on a couch in a circle so we could see each other around the room. The instructor started hand drumming slowing with a hand rhythm and we would follow the pattern. Then she would slowly increase the pace for us to follow along.

My husband Tom was natural. He picked up playing the beats quickly. I was all over the place but was having fun banging on the drum. As the class went on, each one of us in the drum circle would start a beat and everyone else would follow. We even had one lady dancing around with a percussion towards the end. She was really enjoying herself and all of us like watching her dance around to the beat of the music. Some of the other participants would switch instruments by using different types of drums or percussions. Handheld drums, floor drums and assorted of percussions. Tom and I keep to the same drum. Towards the last few minutes of the drum circle event, I tried a percussion. It looks similar to a cheese grater but was shaped like a banana and raddled and had a rake to scrap the outside. I would shake it and rake it to make sounds to the beat of the drums. To be honest I wasn’t really to the beat of the music but I tried my best. Haha!

Photo by Josh Meeder from Pexels

How was the experience?

I enjoyed it. I had to really concentrate on the hand movements to follow the rhythm.

Did it relieve stress?

Yes, I think it did. The sound of the vibrations and movement of hands took your mind off of everything but what was happening around you.

Would I do it again?

Definitely, I really did enjoy it. My hands hurt a little afterward but not for too long. I asked Tom his thoughts and he said maybe he would go again if it was closer to home and the timing was right. He didn’t think it really reduced stress but it surprised him that he had a talent he didn’t even know he had. He hadn’t played a musical instrument before.

My only regret was we didn’t take any photos while we were there to share with this post.

Takeaway:

A drum circle was a way to be focussed and concentrate on the hand rhythm and beat of making beautiful sounds. It was an adventure of getting out of our comfort zone, trying something new, meeting different people and getting our minds off of everything else, except the sound and vibration of the music. Everyone should try something new and get out of their comfort zone every once in awhile. In my opinion, it was two hours well spent. ~Patti

Comments are always welcome.  You can always use your initials or anonymous for your name, if this makes you feel more comfortable to respond.  🙂   Did you find this helpful?  If so, please share this blog post with your colleagues, friends, and family on all your social networks!  Thank you. 🙂

Are you interested in one to one coaching with me?  I have coaching packages available.  Contact me at patti@coachingforinspirationwithpatti.com

Work-Life Balance Hacks for Busy Leaders who LOVE their Career but Want MORE in Life! 

This course is for leaders who are crazy busy, working 24/7 and want something more in their life.  7 easy hacks to create some personal life balance in this so-called busy life!

Enroll today for $25.00

How about creating Harmony in Your Life; click on the link  21- Days Optimal Work/Life Balance Workshop.

Do you want even more work-life balance strategies? Come and join the Facebook group called Work-Life Balance with Patti

Posted in Blog, Business Inspiration, Career Inspiration, Facebook Live, Leadership Inspiration, Personal Inspiration

Facebook Live Today – Have You Ever Worked With Someone You Don’t Like?

Come check us out today on Facebook at the Building Better Relationships at Home and Work Facebook group page.

Here is the link below to watch:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/351340705675175

Here are the dates and time zones to catch it live.

July 23, 2019
5:30 PM Pacific Standard Time
6:30 PM Mountain Standard Time
7:30 PM Central Standard Time
8:30 PM Eastern Standard Time
July 24, 2019
10:30 AM Sydney, Australia Time

If you miss the Live Event you can always watch it later on the Facebook group page.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/351340705675175

OR

To listen to our monthly podcasts click below:

Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela & Patti Podcast

To contact us with topic suggestions or questions, email us at
BBRatHomeandWork@gmail.com

Posted in Blog, Business Inspiration, Career Inspiration, Inspirational Moments, Leadership Inspiration, Personal Inspiration

How to Incorporate Pause into Leadership

As a leader, have you stopped, pause, and reflected before reacting?  I know this can be difficult at times, especially when in the middle of a crisis.  We want to resolve the problem as quickly as possible.  When pausing, we won’t jump immediately into the wrong conclusion.

Incorporating the Art of Pause into Leadership:

The PAUSE and REFLECT Technique
When at work and someone is rude to you. Or you don’t agree with them.  Pause for three to five seconds before responding. Pausing will give you time to reframe your reply or decide not to respond at all.

Pause, Reflect and Don’t send an email response you will regret!
I think everyone has sent an email they regretted sending sometime or another.

What if you receive a nasty passive/aggressive email?  
 Before responding to the email.  Write out your reply. Don’t send it and walk away. If possible sleep on it.  Then rewrite the email response, when you have calmed down. Have someone else read it to help tone down the language before hitting the send button.

“Anger doesn’t solve anything.  It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything”. – unknown

Don’t get me wrong as a leader. There are times you have to be direct with employees for them to improve their work performance. We can’t ignore the situation and let it continue. Have a plan on how to address it.  Write it out and practice what and how to say it. There are also times when you do need to respond immediately and make a quick decision. When possible, take the opportunity to pause and reflect. What is happening around you?  It may change your approach and captivate a great solution.

Discussion Questions:

What are your thoughts about the art of pause?

How will you incorporate it into your leadership style?

Comments are always welcome.  You can always use your initials or anonymous for your name, if this makes you feel more comfortable to respond.  🙂   Did you find this helpful?  if so, please share this blog post with your colleagues, friends, and family on all your social networks!  Thank you. 🙂

For more information about Becoming a Better Leader [e-Book] Click here to download your copy.

Do you want even more work-life balance strategies? Come and join the Facebook group called Work-Life Balance with Patti

Are you interested in one to one coaching with me?  I have coaching packages available.  Contact me at patti@coachingforinspirationwithpatti.com

Work-Life Balance Hacks for Busy Leaders who LOVE their Career but Want MORE in Life! 

This mini course is for leaders who are crazy busy, working 24/7 and want something more in life beyond their career.  7 easy hacks to create some personal life balance in this so-called busy life!

Enroll today for $25.00

Posted in Blog, Business Inspiration, Career Inspiration, Inspirational Moments, Leadership Inspiration, Personal Inspiration, Polls

Tips on How to Reverse Rude Behavior in Meetings

As a leader having efficient and effective meetings are so important to every aspect of running a successful business.  Meetings that aren’t productive are a waste of valuable time and cost the company money.

Have you ever been in a meeting and there is at least one person or all attendees that have nothing positive to say about anything?

I remember one day I finally snapped in a meeting.  My leader wasn’t listening and was talking over of me, while I was trying to explain why my team needed some technical help.  So I started raising my voice over my leader.  I was so upset with myself.  That day I came to realize this isn’t for me and I didn’t like being push to respond that way.  I knew that this was the norm for the group, always trying to one-up, and I didn’t want to play anymore.  I started putting my exit plan into action, it was time for me to remove myself from working there.

What are rude behaviors in meetings?

  • Interrupting the person speaking
  • Not listening, acting bored or lack of engagement
  • Being disrespectful to the speaker
  • Two people talking privately among themselves while someone else is speaking
  • People are just plain hostile to each other
  • Arguing over whose point is right
  • Over talking each other
  • Sarcastic mean comments to the speaker or each other
  • Being very judgmental to each other
  • One-upping each other
  • Participants taking everything that is said very personally due to the hostile interaction
  • Embarrassing the host or leader with malicious remarks

I have been in group meetings where all of these actions have happened, been the target, and been a participant of some of these disrespectful behaviors.  I am not proud about the way I acted, discourteous and unprofessional at times, but that was acceptable to be heard.  Was this behavior a way to conquer and get what was needed?  Not really.  Did anything get resolved?  Most of the time nothing was accomplished.

What lesson did I learn?  I wanted things to be different and I probably cared too much.  I was tired, beaten down, disrespected, and unhappy with the results.  I knew that nothing was going to change in these meetings and I had to either accept it, change my thinking or leave.

On the bright side my team at the time had a code of conduct for our meetings.  People were respectful to each other and follow them.  If someone didn’t follow the code of conduct including me, the team would call you out on it.  Things got resolved and people felt heard.

What happened to common courtesy, collaboration and respectfulness towards each other?

How can we change the behavior?  I believe it takes one person at a time, and the leader to lead by example and reverse this unprofessional behavior.

Here are some tips:

  • Set up rules of conduct for meeting(s).  Go over them at the beginning of each meeting as a reminder.  Have the code of conduct on the agenda template.  As time goes on with the same group of attendees, the code of conduct will not have to be quoted every time, because it is on the agenda.  I would recommend that if you have a new person attending the meeting to read the code of conduct at the beginning of the meeting.
  • When someone says something negative, turn to them and say something positive about the topic or person.
  • When someone intentionally breaks meeting etiquette, politely remind them or refer to the code of conduct.
  • As the leader focus on following the code of conduct, leading by example, and positive meeting etiquette will become achievable by all participants.
  • Redirect the “off topic” discussions to be addressed later.

Takeaway:

Having a set code of conduct and behavior etiquette is so important to running successful meetings.  Being courteous and respectful allows everyone to speak, to be heard, participate, engage and this is when great results will happen. Be organized and prepared.  As a leader, we lead by example and if we are not focused and engaged; our employees will not be either.  ~ Patti

Comments are always welcome.  You can always use your initials or anonymous for your name, if this makes you feel more comfortable to respond.  🙂   Did you find this helpful?  If so, please share this blog post with your colleagues, friends, and family on all your social networks!  Thank you. 🙂

For more information about Becoming a Better Leader [e-Book] Click here to download your copy.

Are you interested in one to one coaching with me?  I have coaching packages available.  Contact me at patti@coachingforinspirationwithpatti.com

Posted in Blog, Business Inspiration, Career Inspiration, Inspirational Moments, Leadership Inspiration, Personal Inspiration

The Leadership of Pete Nelson – the Treehouse Master


My husband and I enjoyed watching the TV show the Treehouse Masters on the Animal Planet channel.  Pete Nelson is the Treehouse Master.  He is a gentle and kind man.  He is passionate about his job.  He loves to have fun and designs each treehouse very special for his clients.

Treehouses lift the spirits. They inspire dreams. They represent freedom: from adults or adulthood, from duties and responsibilities, from an earthbound perspective. If we can’t fly with the birds, at least we can nest with them. – Pete Nelson

The treehouse(s) that Pete Nelson and his crew build are unique.  Pete meets with his clients and designs what they want.  He spends time getting to know his client(s) by asking questions and really listening to their desires.  He is friendly and open.  Pete gets very excited exploring and finding the perfect location with the right type of tree(s) to support the treehouse. When his clients see the treehouse for the first time their expressions of joy are priceless.

When his clients see the treehouse for the first time their expressions of joy are priceless.

Pete Nelson Leadership Style:   He meets with his crew, gives them instructions and they build the treehouse. Pete gets out of the way and let’s his crew do their jobs.  You can tell the staff love their work.  They joke around but pay attention to detail.  They work in all kinds of weather and still enjoy it.

What can we learn from Pete Nelson leadership style?

  • It is okay to laugh and have fun at work
  • Spend time getting to know your client(s) by asking questions and really listening
  • Take every client(s) challenging request and make it a reality
  • Give your client more than they ever dreamed possible
  • Get out of the way and let your staff do their job
  • Trust your staff that they will do a great job when you are not around

Discussion Question:

What can you incorporate starting today in your leadership from Pete Nelson example as a leader?

Comments are always welcome.  You can always use your initials or anonymous for your name, if this makes you feel more comfortable to respond.  🙂   Did you find this helpful?  If so, please share this blog post with your colleagues, friends, and family on all your social networks!  Thank you. 🙂

For more information about Becoming a Better Leader [e-Book] Click here to download your copy.

Are you interested in one to one coaching with me?  I have coaching packages available.  Contact me at patti@coachingforinspirationwithpatti.com

Posted in Career Inspiration, Leadership Inspiration, Personal Inspiration, Podcasts

Building Better Relationships at Home and Work [Podcast] – Episode 9 – Take Time for You and Your Family

Check out our latest podcast

Episode 9 – Take Time for You and Your Family

In this podcast episode Angela and Patti discuss the importance of alone time for yourself, incorporating family time, visualizing better family dynamics with some tips and strategies to make it happen.

To Listen to the Podcast Click Here

Patti  talks about the benefits of taking time for yourself and spending precious time with family.

  • Let’s the brain rest
  • Improves concentration
  • Boosts creativity
  • Helps with problem solving
  • Reflection time to understand yourself and be a nicer person
  • Creates relaxation and calmness

Spend time with family, spouse/partner and really give them our full attention without focusing and thinking of work.

  • How do we do this?
  • When should we do this?
  • How often should we do this?
  • What is really important to you?

Reflect on these questions and realize we really need our family, our spouse/partner in our lives.  They keep us balanced, grateful and loved.

Here are the links to Patti’s blog posts about spending time with family and planning a vacation:

Summertime Inspiration https://wp.me/p3W3dA-URL

Time to Plan a vacation https://wp.me/p3W3dA-UHC

Do you want harmony and balance in your life? Patti has created a 21- Days Optimal Work/Life Balance Program. The program is designed to help you focus, de-stress and gain perspective. During the 21 days, you will receive emails with tips and a downloadable workbook.  www.CoachingforInspirationwithPatti.com

Do you want even more work-life balance strategies? Come and join the Facebook group called Work-Life Balance with Patti

Angela talks about Family Dynamics and they can often be challenging for reasons we can’t always put our finger on. There is often a tension in families – that create unexpressed hurts from a situation in the past. So if you have a challenging family start by realizing your family is not unusual! We all have quirks in families – and some of us have really strong issues in families – so we tend to run away from them!

How do you move past these?

Go back to questions above:

  • How do we do this?
  • When should we do this?
  • How often should we do this?
  • What is really important to you?

Do you want to work on changing your family dynamics? Angela has one on one coaching program called Transformed Relationships, you can book a Relationship Clarity Call at https://loveandrelationshipcoach.setmore.com and discover more about the program.

Please share this podcast with others. Push the like button on Anchor and leave us an encouraging review.  Listener support is very much appreciated. Thank you for listening!

If you have a relationship topic you would like us to discuss, please email your relationship topic to BBRatHomeandWork@gmail.com

Angela and I would like to thank our sponsor Anchor for contributing to this podcast.

Want even more tips about creating better relationships? Come join our Facebook group called Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela & Patti Facebook Group

Posted in Blog, Business Inspiration, Career Inspiration, Facebook Live, Inspirational Moments, Leadership Inspiration, Personal Inspiration

Taking Time for You and Your Family – Today’s Facebook Live

Join us live with your questions at Building Better Relationships Facebook Group we will be discussing:

Taking Time for You and Your Family

May 20, 2019

6:00 PM PST,

9:00 PM EST,

and 11:00 AM May 21, 2019 in Sydney, Australia.

If you miss the Live Event you can always watch it later on the Facebook group page.  

https://www.facebook.com/groups/351340705675175

or

Listen to our monthly podcast – click the link below:

Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela & Patti Podcast

Do you want to work on changing your family dynamics?   Angela has one on one coaching program called Transformed Relationships, you can book a Relationship Clarity Call at https://loveandrelationshipcoach.setmore.com and  discover more about the program.

Do you want harmony and balance in your life?  Patti has created a 21- Days Optimal Work/Life Balance Program.  The program is designed to help you focus, de-stress and gain perspective.  During the 21 days, you will receive emails with tips and a downloadable workbook.

 

Posted in Blog, Business Inspiration, Career Inspiration, Inspirational Moments, Leadership Inspiration, Personal Inspiration

The Leadership of Inspector Edmund Reid

I like mysteries whether reading books or watching TV series.  Currently, I am watching the TV Series on Netflix called Ripper Street based in the East End of London in the Whitechapel district in the 1889’s and beyond.  There is violence, cruelty, corruption and human trafficking.  There are times it is hard to watch due to the nature of these acts.  The TV shows starts six months after the infamous Jack the Ripper’s murders. The main character is Inspector Edmund Reid.  Inspector Reid and his team had been in charge of the investigation of the Jack the Ripper’s murders. Imagine the stress, guilt and dissappointment they felt from not finding the murderer.

Inspector Reid is a workaholic driven by his failure to capture Jack the Ripper, his daughter Mathilda is missing and presumed dead and his wife Emily left him.  Inspector Reid works most nights in his office trying to solve cases to make Whitechapel safer. He is obsessed with his job and it takes Inspector Drake his former Sergeant for him to see the importance of appreciating his staff and their loyalty to each other.  

Inspector Reid has many good qualities, but is very much human and has made some devastating mistakes throughout his career and personal life.  His values were tempted, tested and sometimes failed him.

He works day and night to protect his district from evil and corruption but at times his emotions get the better of him.  Does he care too much?  Maybe?  That is probably one of his best qualities, as well as one of his worst.  Caring too much for the greater good and wanting to make his part of the world a better place.

Caring too much will swallow you whole.    Detective Chief Inspector Frederick Abberline said to Inspector Reid

Now, why do I say caring too much?  Sometimes when you care too much it becomes a down fall for a leader because you trust others, betrayal happens and then you become jaded by those actions.  Getting hurt by others who are doing things for their own personal gain and will step on anyone to get what they want.

This happened to Inspector Reid.  One of his constables was spying on him for another Inspector who was corrupt.  Due to the betrayal it cost lives and changed Inspector Reid forever.

As a Leader, have you care too much and been betrayed?

When you are in a management position you will be betrayed.  People have their own personal agenda’s and a leader’s values are tested.  That may sound harsh but it does happen.

We battle monsters and we become monsters.   That Abyss you talk about it’s not only around or out there, it is inside us.  It’s a blackness that swallows all light.  – Inspector Drake to Inspector Reid

Inspector Reid response – We are the abyss.

How does a leader fall? 

🦋  When they lose site of their vision, values and purpose.  

🦋  Sometimes those values, visions and purpose are ripped away. 

🦋  Sometimes they get lost in someone else’s personal gain.

🦋  Sometimes the leader becomes jaded, by betrayal and trust is damaged.

No leader is perfect.  We all have some sort of flaws.  A good leader has empathy and does care.  By not letting disappointment and lack of vision destroy you is the key to staying sane in a world of disarray.  

Discussion Question:

As a leader, have you ever cared too much?

Comments are always welcome.  

Please share this blog post with your colleagues, friends, and family on all your social networks!  Thank you. 🙂

Are you interested in one to one coaching with me?  I have coaching packages available.  Contact me at patti@coachingforinspirationwithpatti.com