In this episode, Angela and Patti discuss People’s Pleasing and how it can disappoint relationships, whether within yourself and relating to others.
People Pleasers are very helpful and usually don’t say no when someone asks them for a favor. They spend a great deal of time doing things for others and disregard their own needs. Being a People Pleaser can cause disappointment because not everyone has the same kind heart or good intentions. They can attract people who will take advantage of their generosity.
Angela and Patti share experiences of being a people pleaser, and the lessons learned.
What are a few traits of a People Pleasing?
* Seeks approval and words of affirmation
* Fears being alone
* Feelings of being selfish or guilty for not meeting the needs of others
* Irritable when others don’t take your advice
* Being the “go-to person” when someone is in need
* Covering for or taking the blame for others
* Giving money away, which can lead towards depletion
What are some characteristics of a people pleaser?
Wants to be liked by others seek to earn it by pleasing, rescuing, giving away money and things, or flattery. They may even tell little white lies to spare people’s feelings when they don’t want to do something. Wants reassurance through acceptance and affection they can’t express their needs openly and directly. They make others feel obligated to reciprocate.
The people-pleaser may want to earn acceptance by helping others. They put other people’s needs ahead of their own. When they do this, they become resentful and sometimes bitter because the other person doesn’t do the same. They harbor anger, regret, and resentment from feeling used.
At times they may feel responsible for other people’s behavior. Saying “yes” becomes a habit, and for others, it can be an addiction that makes them feel needed in someone else’s life. Feelings of security and self-confidence come from getting the approval of others. Our very first podcast episode was When to Say No and When to Say Yes!
Angela uses clairsentience and kinaesthetic in her healing. It is a huge help to not jumping into the emotions, which means developing a stronger relationship with your intuition, which has taken her years. It has also taught her that feeling for a person is not the same as helping them.
The stories created by a people pleaser to justify their actions and choices are often subtle and cover up the real story that you feel is not enough to state what you want. The damage of believing your stories that justify people-pleasing is that you will delay discovering your true worth by behaviors that keep you locked in suffering other people’s emotions or stuck in guilting others and yourself for not meeting your needs.
Patti and Angela have years of experience overcoming people-pleasing. So the answer is listening to others who overcome people-pleasing to find true self-worth and ways of communicating that in the world. And you can find out more about working with us individually below.
If you want to learn about Angela’s kinaesthetic healing online movement classes, you can receive a free class by signing up for her newsletter here: https://mailchi.mp/0c610663e337/subscribe-to-angelas-newsletter
A People Pleaser may struggle with work-life balance, and Patti has created a self-study at your own pace 21 Days to Optimal Work/Life Balance Program that addresses how to say no for people pleasers and make better boundaries, so others don’t take advantage of them.
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