I used to be a people person then people ruined it! ~ unknown
My husband and I were at Walmart and we saw this phrase on a T-shirt. I held up the T-shirt and said I am going to buy this. Being a leadership and work-life balance coach my job is to encourage people not to feel this way. So why did I want to buy the T-Shirt? Well, to be honest I had many days that I felt this way.
Have you ever felt this way? I know I did throughout my career especially when knee-deep in the day-to-day grind (Bull Sh*t). There were days I would go home and think why are people so hateful, judgmental, petty and disrespectful. Myself included.
What happened to kindness, empathy and compassion?
Reflection Questions About Daily Interactions With Ambitious People
Why is everything about who can “one up” each other?
Why is “knowledge power”? Instead of sharing it.
What happened to being genuinely happy for a coworker and recognizing their accomplishments?
Why is being so “busy” acceptable and “ignoring” family okay?
When will these concepts change in leadership?
Is anybody else out there ready for a mind shift in some basic decency and respect towards others? I know I am!
How about you?
To answer the 🔥 burning question: Did I buy the T-Shirt?Yes, I did. 🙂
P.S. I have received so many comments from people when I wear this T-Shirt. Like: That shirt is so funny. Oh, that shirt is so true. I love that shirt! Why do you think that is? Would love to see your thoughts and comments about this topic. ~ Patti
Comments are always welcome and please share this post with your colleagues, friends, and family on your social networks! Sharing is caring.
Today’s challenge is to Compliment instead of Gossip.
I was listening to the Happier Podcast with Gretchen Rubin awhile back and they were talking about using the practice of reverse gossip. This means when someone is gossiping about another person to you. Say something nice about the person being gossiped about. The gossiper usually stops talking about that person. I have tried this technique a few times and it really has worked.
A compliment is a precious gift, so why aren’t we giving them out more?
Offering a sincere compliment makes people feel valued and accepted. Awareness of the good in others helps us to think more positive. Not getting sucked into gossip and the courage to walk away from it can reflect a lot about someone’s character. If more people said nice things about each other instead of the dreadful, this world would be a much happier place. Walk away from hurtful mean words. Most gossip isn’t true anyway and it causes anguish to the person who is being gossiped about. No good comes from gossip. A compliment can change someone’s day from feeling very low to experiencing worthiness. When receiving a compliment, listen, smile and then say thank you.
When someone gives you a compliment, believe them. ~ Molly Simms
The Day 5 Challenge:
Give at least one compliment each day to someone. Be genuine and honest with your compliment. Some examples: Write a note, letter or send a text to someone and tell them what they mean to you or thank them in person for something nice they did.
Use the technique of reverse gossip and/or walk away from the conversation.
A compliment is verbal sunshine! ☀️~ Robert Orben
We all have negative emotions and it’s okay. We can’t be positive every moment of the day, that is literally impossible. Bad stuff happens. Even upbeat happy fun loving people aren’t feeling it all the time. You can strive to be a good person and give a kind compliment. You may never know what that nice gesture meant to someone and how it could brighten their day for the better. ☀️ ~ Patti
How about making someone’s day today by giving them a compliment! 🙂
The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer everybody else up! ~ Mark Twain
Thank you for spending time with me during this 5 Day challenge. My wish for you is that these daily challenges inspired more positivity within your life and shined out to those around you! ☀️
Share your compliment experiences in the “leave a reply” below. I would love to see your comments and what types of reactions you got! ❤️
How about creating A Balanced Life Especially for You; click on the link 21- Days Optimal Work/Life Balance Workshop to begin your special journey of creating more balance and positivity in life.
Want “one to one coaching” with Patti – email me at patti@coachingforinspirationwithpatti.com
Thank you for joining me with the Bad Leadership Styles series. I know as a leader, I have been all of these at one point or another. Recognizing it and realizing there are going to be bad days and we are going to mess up.
Breathe, pause, pray about it, then regroup and apologize when needed. Forgive and let go.
Mistakes and bad experiences help us grow to become better leaders. My intention for this series is to give you insight and wisdom on your own personal leadership journey.
A truly great Boss is hard to find, difficult to part with and impossible to forget! ~ unknown
I hope this series inspired you to become a great boss. ~ Patti
In case you missed any of the Bad Leadership series here are the links below:
This is a bonus post of the Bad Leadership series. I was talking to one of my coaching friend’s Plynn Gutman about the Bad Leadership blog series. She said to me; you have to do an extra one on Leadership Vampires who steal employees successes and claim them as their own. In other words, give credit where credit is due. This blog post is for you Plynn, and thank you for the suggestion.
How does it feel when your boss takes credit for your work? Not good at all. People don’t feel satisfied or appreciated when not acknowledged for their contributions. This is becoming a common practice within some organizations.
How do you handle this when it happens? (Pause and Reflect)
What is the organization’s culture?
Do they recognize people’s ideas or suggestions?
This will make a significant difference in how to react. Is it acceptable to stand up and take credit for your ideas? Will your direct supervisor support you when you do? Is it worth standing up and saying, look at me?
I believe, yes, everyone should be recognized for their contributions. However, some managers don’t give credit where credit is due. Remember to pick your battles carefully, primarily when you work for Vampire Leaders.
Ask yourself:
Do I want to announce to everyone, hey, this was my idea?
If yes, (Stop, Pause and Reflect) – Will this halt any future career opportunities?
If no, schedule time to meet with your boss privately to discuss it.
When I think of Leadership Vampires, it is a Boss that sucks the life right out of you. They are harsh, aggressive, demanding, and belittling. They show favoritism and leave you feeling beat down mentally and physically. When around them, you may feel anxious, sick, angry, or depressed. They have a habit of reprimanding staff in front of others and micro-managing employees’ time. They lack empathy and drain the positivity and creativity right out of you.
How do you deal with this type of Leadership?
Don’t react
Be calm
Listen patiently
Don’t interrupt
Don’t disagree
Pick your battles wisely.
Apologize when necessary
Don’t give them anything to feed on; they love drama!
Take away:
Working for a Vampire leader is exhausting. Keep calm and don’t react to the harshness. Work hard and listen carefully. Say your daily positive affirmations throughout the day to keep yourself going. You got this!
Comments are always welcome, and please share this post with your colleagues, friends, and family on your social networks! Sharing is caring.
Over the last few months, I have heard the term “Ghosting”.
What does Ghosting mean?
According to Wikipedia-Ghosting definition means:
Ghosting is breaking off a relationship by ceasing all communication and contact with the former partner without any apparent warning or justification, as well as avoiding or ignoring and refusing to respond to the former partner’s attempts to reach out or communicate.
What is Leadership Ghosting?
Here is my definition:
A leader who ceases to communicate correctly is unavailable, refuses or ignores to respond to questions or suggestions, but thinks he/she knows what is happening within the business. They make decisions that are bad or unreasonable and disengaged from staff. They run the business through emails or texts. Misunderstandings occur due to a lack of face-to-face contact or verbal conversation for details and guidance. The Ghosting Leaders make decisions without knowing the full scope of the situation or ask questions. These decisions are harmful to the organizations; the bottom line and the staff become very resentful due to these decisions’ cause and effects and the lack of input.
The behavior of Leadership Ghosting:
A ghosting leader withdrawals communication with staff
Ignore employees
Fears conflict
Fear of disappointing someone or looking like the “bad person.”
Doesn’t want to deal with someone’s anger
These types of leaders don’t like to deal with uncomfortable situations. Instead of addressing the circumstance, they avoid the problem altogether.
Examples of Ghosting:
Your boss said you would get a promotion, and months later, nothing
You apply for a position and go through the interview, and weeks go by, and you find out someone else got the job. The ghost leader didn’t tell you
You’re promised information by a particular day and time and never receive it
The dangers of Leadership Ghosting leaves employees feeling undervalued, disregarded, and disappointed. This type of leadership style is unprofessional, rude, and cruel.
Suppose you recognize ghosting leaders in your organization or within yourself. Here are a few tips to encourage behavioral change in this leadership style.
Sit down with them and discuss the behavior you have observed.
Ask questions, give feedback on their management style, and suggestions on how to improve engagement with staff.
Schedule leadership training courses – Udemy.com or Lynda.com
Schedule interpersonal communication courses – Udemy.com or Lynda.com
Overcoming the fear of conflict will reduce anxiety, strengthen courage, and promotes better communication skills. Start by responding to emails, voicemails, and texts, even if it is short and to the point. Something is better than nothing. Meet with employees, listen, and be engaged. As you address complex situations, it does get easier as time goes on.
Have you experienced Leadership Ghosting?
If yes, What happened?
Comments are always welcome and please share this post with your colleagues, friends, and family on your social networks! Sharing is caring.
Bullying in the workplace has become an important topic in today’s world of leadership. Many of us have experienced workplace bullying during some time in our careers.
Today, I am going to discuss the warning signs of Workplace Bully Leaders to increase awareness.
What is Workplace Bullying?
According to Wikipedia Workplace bullying is a persistent mistreatment pattern from others in the workplace that causes either physical or emotional harm. It can include such tactics as verbal, nonverbal, psychological, physical abuse, and humiliation. This type of workplace aggression is particularly difficult because, unlike the typical school bully, workplace bullies often operate within the established rules and policies of their organization and their society. In the majority of cases, bullying in the workplace is reported as having been by someone who has authority over their victim. However, bullies can also be peers, and occasionally subordinates.
Signs of a Possible Workplace Bully Leaders:
Demeaning, disrespectful, and devaluing employees capabilities
Public ridicule, sarcastic, insults, name-calling, threats, and intimidation
Targeting and creating social isolation with staff
Blaming, lying, gossiping, spreading rumors and whispering
Failing to give credit to employees for their work
Overloading targeted employee with a huge workload
Micro-Manages and commands respect without earning it
A know it all
Bully leaders create isolation and silo work environments. They divide staff and departments to keep control.
Why don’t people speak up? Employees are afraid of losing their jobs.
Bullying by leadership has several physical and behavioral health issues for the targeted employees.
Warning Signs of an Employee Being Bullied:
Becomes less socially active or confident
Appears scared, stressed, anxious or depressed
Calling out sick more frequently than normal
Physical signs of tension such as headaches, backaches, not sleeping well, and suicidal thoughts
If bullying is unaddressed, the aggression and unresolved conflicts will continue to escalate. When not dealt with, it causes adverse effects on the targeted workers – maybe even psychological, financial and physical burdens.
The Results to the Employers:
High Turnover and Absenteeism
Low Productivity
Lack of Creativity
Legal Costs
Damaged Reputation
If you recognize Workplace Bully Leaders in your organization or within yourself:
Here are a few tips to encourage behavioral change for this type of leadership style.
Sit down with them and discuss the behavior you have observed
Ask questions, give feedback on their management style and suggestions on how to improve engagement with staff
Set a zero-tolerance approach to workplace bullying
Build trust and open-door policies to discuss bullying
Schedule leadership training courses, primarily on bullying – Udemy.com
Bullying promotes an atmosphere of fear, vulnerability, anxiousness, and uncertainty. Awareness is the key to change. Develop a zero-tolerance workplace accompanied by training, coaching, and mentoring to display compassion, empathy, safety, and trust.
Have you had a Workplace Bully as a Boss?
If yes, How did they make you feel?
How did you overcome it?
Answering these questions above and sharing your experiences may help someone else dealing with a workplace bully.
Comments are always welcome and please share this post with your colleagues, friends, and family on your social networks! Sharing is caring.
Today, I am going to discuss the leadership style of an inflexible boss. These types of personalities are unapproachable at work and home. Any kind of change is not welcome or encouraged. Working with this type of leader stifles innovation and creativity while leaving employees feeling resentful and unmotivated.
What is an inflexible leader?
The inflexible boss is arrogant, distant, unreasonable, and unapproachable. They are closed-minded to any changes and will not listen to any new ideas, consider different options or new technology. The inflexible boss promotes fear over staff to ensure they follow their ways of doing things.
Characteristics of this type to leadership style:
Punishes for not doing things their way
Their way or the highway
Don’t listen or open to any suggestions
Always right
Strictly by the book/procedures
Favorite phrase – We’ve always done it this way
Never says sorry
Lacks empathy
Jumps to a conclusion before gathering all the facts
Suppose you recognize inflexible leaders in your organization or within yourself. Here are a few tips to encourage behavioral change in this leadership style.
Sit down with them and discuss the behavior you have observed, and explain that it is essential to be open to new ways this helps the company to succeed.
Ask questions, give feedback on their management style, and suggestions on how to improve engagement with staff.
A good leader will let employees try new and different ways of doing processes, especially if the current approach isn’t working or becoming mundane. Listening is essential to know what is working and what is not. Being approachable and welcoming is the first step to building trust and hearing what people are feeling and new ideas.
If yes, How did you feel working for them?
What were the obstacles and how did you deal with it?
Comments are always welcome and please share this post with your colleagues, friends, and family on your social networks! Sharing is caring.
An absentee leader is someone in a leadership position who is psychologically absent from their responsibilities. They are known as the “silent killers.”
Here are some characteristics of an absentee leader:
Psychologically absent from their staff.
Take value out of an organization without contributing back.
These leaders are laissez-faire (to let people do as they choose)
Don’t show up to meetings, unresponsive to emails, give zero feedback, and share important information with employees.
Seldom engage with staff.
Organizations rarely confront absentee leaders. If left unaddressed, they can halt succession planning, block potential staff from promoting and cause unproductivity in the workplace. Those who report to them may become frustrated, which negatively impacts the employees and the work environment.
What is an absentee leader?
An absentee leader is someone in a leadership position who is psychologically absent from their responsibilities. They are known as the “silent killers.”
Here are some characteristics of an absentee leader:
Psychologically absent from their staff.
Take value out of an organization without contributing back.
These leaders are laissez-faire (to let people do as they choose)
Don’t show up to meetings, unresponsive to emails, give zero feedback, and share important information with employees.
Seldom engage with staff.
Organizations rarely confront absentee leaders. If left unaddressed, they can halt succession planning, block potential staff from promoting and cause unproductivity in the workplace. Those who report to them may become frustrated, which negatively impacts the employees and the work environment.
Teams with absent supervisors often feel they have no direction, are unrecognized, neglected, and overlooked without clear goals, guidance, and feedback. Employees don’t develop under an absentee leader.
The Destruction of the Absentee Leader:
Degrades the employee’s job satisfaction
May lead to job performance uncertainty
Employee’s stress levels and talents become drained
As long as the absentee leader has an employee who will pick up the slack, this behavior will continue. The absentee leader enjoys the perks and entitlements of their title but isn’t doing the job. This type of leadership style is destructive. The hard-working employees who do the work aren’t receiving the support, recognition, or crucial feedback. The absentee leader accepts credit when things are going right and pushes the staff’s blame when things are not.
Suppose you recognize an absentee leader in your organization or within yourself. Here are a few tips to encourage behavioral change in this leadership style.
Sit down with them and discuss the behavior you have observed.
Ask questions, give feedback on their management style, and suggestions on how to improve engagement with staff.
Schedule leadership training courses to improve leadership development skills – Udemy.com or Lynda.com
Listen to Leadership Podcasts – John Maxwell Leadership Podcast or Engaging Leader Podcast
Read Leadership Books – 101 Leadership John C. Maxwell
Get them a mentor who is a successful leader.
Hire a leadership coach to help them succeed
Companies don’t always see the effects of this leadership style until the damage has already occurred.
Takeaway:
Recognize the absentee leader within your organization or inside yourself and address the situation. Employees want a leader who is there for them. Staff follows a leader who will coach, train, motivate, recognize their accomplishments, and help them to succeed.
Have you experienced an absentee leader? If yes, What was it like?
Comments are always welcome and please share this post with your colleagues, friends, and family on your social networks! Sharing is caring.
In the month of October, I will be writing a series of blog posts about bad leadership styles. How to spot them and ways to activate positive outcomes for each of these style types to improve communication and to become an overall better leader.
The Absentee Leader The Ghosting Leader The Workplace Bully Leader The Inflexible Leader The Vampire Leader
My ultimate goal is for Leaders to recognize these types of behavioral styles within themselves and work on becoming more pleasant to be around at work and home.
Come and join me in this Leadership series and engage in the comments about each Leadership Style you have personally experienced and the impact they made on your career and home life. ~ Patti
It is springtime, International Coaching Week and so much more. Coaching has such a powerful and unique way of changing lives for the better.
International Coaching Week (ICW) is May 7-13, 2018
What is International Coaching Week?
International Coaching Week (ICW) is an annual week-long global celebration of the coaching profession, which the International Coaching Federal (ICF) local chapters and members spread the word about coaching and how coaching changes lives.
What is Coaching?
Coaching is client focused. The coach recognizes each client is a unique individual with the ability to determine their own priorities, goals, and action steps towards what they truly want in life. The coach assists the client through active listening, asking questions, and affirming the client’s accountability.
How Does Coaching Change Lives?
Recently, I asked one of my client’s the following questions:
What has been your experience working with me as your coach?
Answer: You are firm, when I am not. You are able to clarify where I may not be standing up for myself – or what I am here to do. You are fair, and see what is the fair or appropriate thing to do in situations that involved partnership, teams and relationships with others. You simplify what I am looking for, so I don’t waste time, you help me get straight to the point.
It actually inspires me to do good, be a better person, be INVESTED in people, be caring, be passionate AND be connected to those I work with. Think about myself and my needs AND think about the needs of others, while making sure I don’t sacrifice my needs. A lot of care. You make me feel I’m worthwhile, valuable and you make me feel that others are worthwhile and valuable, and show or support me to support the value in others.
How do you think my coaching has helped you become a better leader?
Answer: By being fearless to express my needs. In simple terms, so even if I have emotions about expressing my needs. I still express them. Plus clarifying the benefits of expressing my needs to the best outcome for all involved. It is important to understand what coaching means and why it can be essential to your life in and out of the office.
What do you think? Are you ready to learn more about the coaching experience?
Have you experienced coaching? If so, feel free to share about your coaching experiences.
Comments are always welcome and please share this post with your colleagues, friends, family and on your social networks!
