I’m sure we have all met someone who seems to have it all together and projects they have a perfect life. They post all this fun and fabulous stuff on Facebook about their life. They have a great career, a huge house, a brand new car, and a loving home life from appearances, then, later on, you find out it was all a show.
What about a leader that appears to be perfect?
Is anyone genuinely perfect? Hell no, we all have quirks, habits, personalities that may rub someone the wrong way at times and make mistakes; that is what a human does.
Do you respect someone who looks and acts like they are perfect, or do you question their authenticity?
Who do you respect more, someone who is a hot mess but holds it all together or a fake perfect person that is always looking to make a great impression?
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying you should scatter all your dirty laundry around at work. However, when someone comes across as always perfect and doesn’t make mistakes, it leaves suspicion and lack of trust. By not showing your human side, it is hard to build lasting relationships. You may be called a fair-weather person.
What makes a good leader is they admit they are imperfect and care about doing a good job, the staff, their coworkers, and customers.
What are your thoughts? 🦋 Does perfection equal an outstanding leader? 🦋 Or something completely different?
This month’s topic theme is going to be about burnout. Has it ever happened to you? It is not fun, but it is becoming more common for people in management positions and high demanding careers.
I came across this movie, “Sweet Home Carolina,” on Tubi. It starts with Diane sitting in her office, not answering her office phone, and hyperventilating into a brown bag.
Burnout is what happens when the soul whispering against an unhealthy job or relationship. – Dr. Dina Glouberman
Diane is an Advertising Executive, and her personal life is a mess. She works long hours and has a habit of picking up her youngest child late from school. Her oldest teenage daughter is angry with her over the divorce of her parents and blames Diane. Diane is receiving collection notices in the mail. She is a train wreck ready to happen. Family dinners consist of frozen lasagna and Diane drinking a few glasses of wine before going to bed.
Don’t get so busy making a living, that you forget to make a life. – Dolly Parton
When Diane thought her life couldn’t get any worst. Her boss called her into his office and gave away her biggest client to a coworker. Then told her she needed to take some time off (permanently). A life preserver happened; her Aunt, who recently passed away, left her a house in a small town in South Carolina. The stipulations were taking care of her Aunt’s dog and living in the house for a year. She subleased her home in Los Angeles, and she and her daughters moved.
Don’t accept burnout as the price or definition of success. – Jon Acuff
The demanding career, the big house, and a fancy car is not everything. What makes true happiness? In Diane’s case, she realized that most important to her was a loving, respectful relationship with her daughters, a good man who loved her deeply, and a small town of caring people.
Sometimes we choose a career because of the large paycheck and later realize the job has cost us more than we bargained. No social life, no friends, damaged love life, estranged family, health problems, a lack of purpose, and what happened to my enthusiasm and happiness?
Think about your life. Is this the way I want my story to end?
During these uncertain and stressful times, more than ever, we need joy in our daily lives. Whether at work or home. A smile can change someone’s day from gloomy to joyful; showing some compassion when a coworker is at their breaking point or providing a little laughter can help everyone get through these unusual circumstances.
A good laugh heals a lot of hurts. — Madeleine L’Engle
What are the benefits of laughter in the workplace?
Laughter can lower stress and boredom, strengthen the immune system, and enhance team engagement, collaboration, creativity, and well-being. It relaxes the body and defuses conflict.
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. — Victor Borge
How can you brighten someone’s day with a little laughter?
When were some times you and your team laugh at work?
What can you do to encourage laughter in the workplace?
Sometimes in our careers, we have all worked with someone unprofessional. They may come across like they don’t care, don’t even know how to behave in a professional setting, or even realize their behavior is unprofessional. How do most people usually respond? Avoidance! They would rather avoid the situation instead of addressing the unprofessionalism. Why? Because it is uncomfortable. Whether new or experienced, many supervisors shy away from confrontation, thinking that the behavior will go away. However, in most cases, the behavior gets worse when it’s not dealt with and continues.
Is there a way to help or mentor them?
Yes, of course, there is, by addressing the behavior. People can’t change if they don’t know their behavior is displeasing.
🦋 Calmly explain to the unprofessional person how to be treated with respect. Give an example of what is respectful and courteous.
Here are some examples:
“When you roll your eyes at me while I am speaking to you, this makes me feel disrespected. ”
“When you don’t respond to me with an answer, I feel frustrated and ignored. Please respond promptly.” (In this example, it could be in person, email, text, etc.)
Beneath every behavior there is a feeling. And beneath each feeling is a need. And when we meet that need rather than focus on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause, not the symptom. ~ Ashleigh Warner
If we are all honest, there are times in our careers when we have been unprofessional. A coworker pushed us over the edge with a passive-aggressive comment. The harsh boss that embarrassed you in front of your peers or a group meeting and yelled at everyone because of one coworker’s lousy behavior and ruins everyone’s day. An argument in a staff meeting went over the top.
I think this is one of the most challenging aspects of any job when working with the public or collaborating with coworkers. “How do I respond to unprofessional people?”
There are numerous reasons. Coworkers can be defensive, rude, sarcastic, have their own agenda, and be plain difficult. Some even enjoy causing workplace drama and spreading rumors. They get high while watching the sh*t fly as the tension builds and the hostility grows around them.
We spend more time with our coworkers than with family. Coworkers sometimes know us better than we know ourselves. Some even like to push our buttons so that we will react unfavorably.
Some people don’t have speaking filters. They talk at the same time as the thoughts enter their head. They don’t even know what they said was unkind, disrespectful, or demeaning. Some people, you can’t approach them about their unprofessional behavior as a coworker. You may need to discuss the situation with your supervisor.
How can you make the most of it?
Before you approach the unprofessional person:
Think about how they will respond.
Have a plan of action on how to communicate with recommended solutions.
Will they accept the feedback or react unfavorably towards you.
No matter how awful someone treats you. Stop, reflect, and walk away. I know it is hard to walk away when emotions overtake you. However, just because you don’t react, it doesn’t mean you didn’t notice the behavior or accept it. The only way to stop a toxic person is not to engage with them. Address the situation later when you both have time to think it over and calm down, not in the heat of the moment. Choose your battles carefully. Sometimes responding in anger makes you look like a fool in front of others.
Reflect on your career.
🦋 What were some of your experiences dealing with unprofessional?
🦋 What did you learn from these experiences?
Did you find this helpful? If so, please share this blog post with others! Comments are always welcome.
Interested in one to one coaching with me?To schedule “one on one coaching” with Patti – click on the “Schedule Now” button below:
Lately, I have been hearing this phrase when people are talking about their coworkers.
Don’t be that guy!
Employers and staff may use this term when someone has committed bad behavior or done something procedurally wrong. In some organizations, they use this term “Don’t be that (Guy) Person” for humiliation or an example of what not to do. The poster child of what not to be in the workplace.
Is shaming an effective management strategy?
Some say yes because it represents what not to do in the workplace and halts people from doing it.
How does “Don’t be that Person” cope with being the scapegoat?
Some quit some stay and deal with the whispering behind their backs and the harsh judgment while others checkout (isolate themselves).
Maybe some organizations want this type of shaming to keep things under control. If so, something is wrong. Someone once told me you live in a fantasy world if you think this type of management strategy will change.
What do you think?
Comments are welcome. What are your thoughts on this topic?
Angela and Patti share communication tips at work. How to stay in a job and manage difficult relationships. How to ask yourself the questions to determine how to manage your emotions. To listen to the full podcast episode click below:
What does this meme tell you?
Take a look at yourself. Is the relationship problem really you? What is it about this person that triggers you? Is it past behavior? Do they remind you of someone? Do they remind you of something you don’t like within yourself?
Angela: Is this a group issue or is it an issue just for you. Do others in workplace share your issue? This points to something missing in the group environment.
Use the PAUSE and REFLECT Technique PAUSE for three to five seconds before responding. This gives you time to change your response or don’t respond at all.
What if you receive a nasty passive/aggressive email from your boss or coworker? Before responding back to the email. Write out your response. Don’t send it! Walk away for awhile. Sleep on it, if you don’t have to respond within the same day. Then rewrite it when you have calmed down. Have someone else read it that you trust to help tone it down before hitting the send button.
What to consider:
Should I stay at my current employment or move on?
Make a list of “why to stay” and “why to go”. Be upfront and honest. No holding back from the truth of the matter! Look at which column has the most reasons? Make your decision from there. Is there more good reason to stay? Or reasons to leave.
Are you interested in one on one coaching with Angela? Angela has one on one coaching program called Transformed Relationships, you can book a Relationship Clarity Call at https://loveandrelationshipcoach.setmore.com and discover more about the program.
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Angela and I would like to thank Anchor for hosting this podcast.
My husband and I enjoyed watching the TV show the Treehouse Masters on the Animal Planet channel. Pete Nelson is the Treehouse Master. He is a gentle and kind man. He is passionate about his job. He loves to have fun and designs each treehouse very special for his clients.
Treehouses lift the spirits. They inspire dreams. They represent freedom: from adults or adulthood, from duties and responsibilities, from an earthbound perspective. If we can’t fly with the birds, at least we can nest with them. – Pete Nelson
The treehouse(s) that Pete Nelson and his crew build are unique. Pete meets with his clients and designs what they want. He spends time getting to know his client(s) by asking questions and really listening to their desires. He is friendly and open. Pete gets very excited exploring and finding the perfect location with the right type of tree(s) to support the treehouse. When his clients see the treehouse for the first time their expressions of joy are priceless.
When his clients see the treehouse for the first time their expressions of joy are priceless.
Pete Nelson Leadership Style: He meets with his crew, gives them instructions and they build the treehouse. Pete gets out of the way and let’s his crew do their jobs. You can tell the staff love their work. They joke around but pay attention to detail. They work in all kinds of weather and still enjoy it.
What can we learn from Pete Nelson leadership style?
It is okay to laugh and have fun at work
Spend time getting to know your client(s) by asking questions and really listening
Take every client(s) challenging request and make it a reality
Give your client more than they ever dreamed possible
Get out of the way and let your staff do their job
Trust your staff that they will do a great job when you are not around
What can you incorporate starting today in your leadership from Pete Nelson example as a leader?
Comments are always welcome. You can always use your initials or anonymous for your name, if this makes you feel more comfortable to respond. 🙂 Did you find this helpful? If so, please share this blog post with your colleagues, friends, and family on all your social networks! Thank you. 🙂
I like mysteries whether reading books or watching TV series. Currently, I am watching the TV Series on Netflix called Ripper Street based in the East End of London in the Whitechapel district in the 1889’s and beyond. There is violence, cruelty, corruption and human trafficking. There are times it is hard to watch due to the nature of these acts. The TV shows starts six months after the infamous Jack the Ripper’s murders. The main character is Inspector Edmund Reid. Inspector Reid and his team had been in charge of the investigation of the Jack the Ripper’s murders. Imagine the stress, guilt and dissappointment they felt from not finding the murderer.
Inspector Reid is a workaholic driven by his failure to capture Jack the Ripper, his daughter Mathilda is missing and presumed dead and his wife Emily left him. Inspector Reid works most nights in his office trying to solve cases to make Whitechapel safer. He is obsessed with his job and it takes Inspector Drake his former Sergeant for him to see the importance of appreciating his staff and their loyalty to each other.
Inspector Reid has many good qualities, but is very much human and has made some devastating mistakes throughout his career and personal life. His values were tempted, tested and sometimes failed him.
He works day and night to protect his district from evil and corruption but at times his emotions get the better of him. Does he care too much? Maybe? That is probably one of his best qualities, as well as one of his worst. Caring too much for the greater good and wanting to make his part of the world a better place.
Caring too much will swallow you whole.–Detective Chief Inspector Frederick Abberline said to Inspector Reid
Now, why do I say caring too much? Sometimes when you care too much it becomes a down fall for a leader because you trust others, betrayal happens and then you become jaded by those actions. Getting hurt by others who are doing things for their own personal gain and will step on anyone to get what they want.
This happened to Inspector Reid. One of his constables was spying on him for another Inspector who was corrupt. Due to the betrayal it cost lives and changed Inspector Reid forever.
As a Leader, have you care too much and been betrayed?
When you are in a management position you will be betrayed. People have their own personal agenda’s and a leader’s values are tested. That may sound harsh but it does happen.
We battle monsters and we become monsters. That Abyss you talk about it’s not only around or out there, it is inside us.It’s a blackness that swallows all light.– Inspector Drake to Inspector Reid
Inspector Reid response – We are the abyss.
How does a leader fall?
🦋 When they lose site of their vision, values and purpose.
🦋 Sometimes those values, visions and purpose are ripped away.
🦋 Sometimes they get lost in someone else’s personal gain.
🦋 Sometimes the leader becomes jaded, by betrayal and trust is damaged.
No leader is perfect.We all have some sort of flaws. A good leader has empathy and does care. By not letting disappointment and lack of vision destroy you is the key to staying sane in a world of disarray.
As a leader, have you ever cared too much?
Comments are always welcome.
Please share this blog post with your colleagues, friends, and family on all your social networks! Thank you. 🙂
To schedule “one on one coaching” with Patti – click on the “Schedule Now” button below:
I have spoken to a lot of people who feel stuck in a dead-end job. When Sunday comes around, they dread thinking about going to work the next morning. On Monday mornings, they hit the snooze button multiple times and force themselves out of bed. They push themselves with positive affirmations or the opposite with “I hate my job” self-talk on the way to work.
🦋 Do you feel like you could do your job in your sleep?
🦋 Are there no advancement opportunities where you work?
🦋 Do you feel hateful and resentful when you walk through your workplace?
🦋 Do you get any acknowledgment for a job well done?
Well, here are some questions below to ask yourself. Answer them with the first reaction you have.
🦋 Am I learning any new aspects in my position?
🦋 Are my job duties challenging to me?
🦋 Do I enjoy going to work every day?
🦋 Am I motivated and strive to increase my productivity level?
🦋 Do I feel I am making a difference?
🦋 Are my coworkers positive at work?
🦋 Am I positive at work?
If you answered no to these questions, you might be feeling stuck in a dead-end job.
What are some options to improve my career situation?
Create a Career Journal to track your career goals, action steps, certifications, accomplishments, achievements, and references all in one area.
Making or adding to your career journal is a great way to be organized and refocus on your career path.
What’s in a Career Journal:
Career goals and ideas
Keep track of career progress
Advice from mentors
A private place to vent career disappointments
Keep positive affirmations and quotes
Gain a new perspective
Resume, cover letters, interview tips, interview questions, thank you notes, recommendations, references, and certifications
Mission statement and values
Develop a career action plan
Keep motivated and inspired
To celebrate the small successes
How to Get Started:
Get a large binder; put all your career paperwork and ideas into it
Then decide if you want to put all your information into a computer document, on-line journal, a book journal, or a binder
Organize by categories
Add to your career journal regularly
Please keep it in a secure place
Self-Reflection Questions for Career Journal:
What did I learn?
What did I accomplish?
Did I receive any compliments? If so, what was it, and who said it?
How did I make a difference?
Did I have any setbacks, and how did it affect me?
How can I change my situation and get new career opportunities?
Where should I start networking to meet new people and look for better job opportunities?
What to consider:
Should I stay at my current employment or move on?
Make a list of “why to stay” and “why to go.” Be upfront and honest. No holding back from the truth of the matter!
What’s keeping me here?
Are there other options?
If, so what are they?
A Transfer within the company?
Start job hunting?
Hire a career coach?
Go back to school and learn something new?
After making and reviewing the list to “stay or go.”What did this list tell you?
Don’t stay in a job where there is no opportunity for advancement. Leap of faith and try something different. You will have a career purpose with meaning again. Whatever decision you make to either stay or go, having a career journal will keep you organized and focused on your career goals and prepare you for the next career opportunity. ~ Patti
Comments are always welcome.
Please share this blog post with your colleagues, friends, and family on all your social networks!
I recently started watching the long-running TV series Midsomer Murders on Netflix. The main character Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby is very dedicated to his job and capturing the murder(s). He is excellent at his job. While on a murder case he is very focused on his work, 24/7 until the murders(s) are caught and charged.
Chief Inspector Barnaby loves his job. It gives him purpose. He coaches and trains his sergeants to be dedicated, knowledgeable, reliable and very good detectives.
Trust is something hard to win, easy to lose and never to be taken lightly. ~ Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby, Midsomer Murders
In one episode Sargeant Dan Scott was getting rough with a suspect. After the incident and they were both alone in the vehicle Chief Inspector Barnaby told Sgt. Scott, you will not conduct yourself like that ever again under my watch. As a leader, Inspector Barnaby is not afraid to address bad behavior with his employees.
Do you see a lesson in this? ~ Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby, Midsomer Murders
Due to Chief Inspector Barnaby’s dedication to his job, he ends up disappointing his wife Joyce continuously. He is a good man. He loves his wife, but his job always comes first. He does have a habit of not showing up when working a murder case.
He will set up dinner dates with his wife while he is still investigating his case. He may even take her to a restaurant and be watching a suspect. Joyce will get up early to cook him breakfast and usually he rushes out without eating her prepared meal. They will plan on meeting up for a party or some other occasion and he either arrives late or not at all.
The cleverest lies are those were already inclined to believe. ~ Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby, Midsomer Murders
Joyce wants to spend more quality time with her husband, but he is always on the job 24/7. Does any of this sound familiar?
In one episode, Chief Inspector Barnaby was suppose to meet his wife Joyce at home and go with her to a party. He didn’t show up and Joyce went without him and had a wonderful time. He was locked in a cellar with Sgt. Scott all night and she didn’t even realize he didn’t come home. I think it surprised him that she wasn’t even worried about him.
In another episode, Joyce and his daughter Cully wanted to purchase a houseboat. Thinking a houseboat would create more family time together. The houseboat Joyce and Cully were looking at turned out to be the killers. No houseboat was purchased.
In another episode, Joyce wanted Chief Inspector Barnaby to start planning for his retirement and to become a mystery writer. She thought he would make more money and be around more. It wasn’t Chief Inspector Barnaby’s idea of retirement after the murder investigation.
What now? I’m going to have my cake and eat it.~ Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby, Midsomer Murders
In the TV show Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby is considered a family man. When he does arrive home for dinner, he is usually called out again.
How does his marriage survive? No work-life balance here!
Of course, he is a fictional character.
Do you think this is why he is still in a relationship?