Angela and Patti discuss forgiving family members and hurtful words in this podcast episode.
Have you ever said something so hurtful and regretted it?
The same is true for family members who have said angry, hurtful words to you. Hurting people lash out at others. Words hurt profoundly, and a lot of times, and not forgotten. Speaking in anger can be dangerous for all relationships, even if it is accurate and how you are feeling at that moment in time. The damage has been created and really can’t take back.
Why do we say hurtful words? First, it’s helpful to understand why people become habituated to saying unkind things.
Understanding why people say hurtful things will help you see what the person is experiencing underneath the words.
Patti often says in our podcasts, “hurt people – hurt other people.”
Angela – I see that hurt people have no way to heal their hurt or resolve it – so they project it out – like spitting out the poison inside them – or when you spit out something that you don’t like in your mouth.
The thing is – it seems pretty stupid to spit out your hurt on someone else – if you want to stay friends with them.
So why would we do that?
Well, monkey sees – monkey do.
How do you forgive?
Forgiveness is the hardest thing for most people. Unforgiveness is a poison on your soul and spirit. Unfortunately, people with unforgiveness spill it out on others, and the cycle continues down the line.
Questions to journal or self reflect on:
Are apologies needed to be said before healing can happen? YES or NO
What if apologies never occur?
What if the family member doesn’t want to make amends?
How will you let go and forgive without an apology?
When unforgiveness takes over your thoughts and heart, recite the Hawaiian Forgiveness Prayer Ho’oponopono” at least three or more times. First, say the person’s name and then the prayer. Or you may not get a chance to apologize or get an apology; this prayer will assist in healing and forgive with a genuine desire to heal the relationship.
Please forgive me
I love you
We would love to hear about your family dynamics and how you conquered and let go of the hurt from angry words said, whether you were telling them or directed at you.
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To learn more or purchase the Building Better Relationships Journal and Meditation.
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