This month’s topic theme is going to be about burnout. Has it ever happened to you? It is not fun, but it is becoming more common for people in management positions and high demanding careers.
I came across this movie, “Sweet Home Carolina,” on Tubi. It starts with Diane sitting in her office, not answering her office phone, and hyperventilating into a brown bag.
Burnout is what happens when the soul whispering against an unhealthy job or relationship. – Dr. Dina Glouberman
Diane is an Advertising Executive, and her personal life is a mess. She works long hours and has a habit of picking up her youngest child late from school. Her oldest teenage daughter is angry with her over the divorce of her parents and blames Diane. Diane is receiving collection notices in the mail. She is a train wreck ready to happen. Family dinners consist of frozen lasagna and Diane drinking a few glasses of wine before going to bed.
Don’t get so busy making a living, that you forget to make a life. – Dolly Parton
When Diane thought her life couldn’t get any worst. Her boss called her into his office and gave away her biggest client to a coworker. Then told her she needed to take some time off (permanently). A life preserver happened; her Aunt, who recently passed away, left her a house in a small town in South Carolina. The stipulations were taking care of her Aunt’s dog and living in the house for a year. She subleased her home in Los Angeles, and she and her daughters moved.
Don’t accept burnout as the price or definition of success. – Jon Acuff
The demanding career, the big house, and a fancy car is not everything. What makes true happiness? In Diane’s case, she realized that most important to her was a loving, respectful relationship with her daughters, a good man who loved her deeply, and a small town of caring people.
Sometimes we choose a career because of the large paycheck and later realize the job has cost us more than we bargained. No social life, no friends, damaged love life, estranged family, health problems, a lack of purpose, and what happened to my enthusiasm and happiness?
Think about your life. Is this the way I want my story to end?
Recently I was searching for something to watch on Prime Video and came across the movie “Sensitively Training.” I thought it would be interesting since this is a pretty hot topic, and it is about a business/life coach and her reluctant client.
Serena (client) is a microbiologist, and she is excellent with bacteria but not so good with people. She had no filter; she said whatever she thought no holding back. After belittling a colleague in a staff meeting, and then the coworker committed suicide, Serena is mandated into sensitivity training with Caroline (coach). Caroline has a positive outlook of life, and she represents everything Serena dislikes, but Caroline is determined to help Serena. Caroline was at a crossroads in her coaching career. She wanted to coach on more than sexual harassment cases and make a difference in people’s lives. In the movie, the coaching/client relationship becomes unprofessionally blurred at times; however, Serena had positive behavioral results from the coaching process.
What is sensitively training? It is a form of training, with the goal of making people more aware of their own goals as well as their prejudices, and more sensitive to others and to the dynamics of group interaction.
What isworkplace sensitivity training? It ensures that everyone in the workplace is respected and treated appropriately, regardless of who they are while learning to be respectful and consider the perspectives of others.
What isrespectful workplace training? It has a different approach, which isn’t about being broken and needing to be fixed. It allows you to be you, but with a different lens to look through.
What are some coaching and training topics for Workplace Sensitivity and Respectful Workplace?
Communication & Coaching for Leaders
Managing Workplace Conflict
Promoting Positive Personal Conduct
Respectful Workplace and Communication
Serena had a wake-up call (Sensitivity Coaching and Training) that changed her personal and professional life forever. She was smiling, happy, and enjoying life for the first time. Serena had a friend, a pet (turtle), and a relationship with her half-brother. She was listening and engaging with her staff. As a team, they came up with a solution to a problem bacteria, for Serena sensitivity coaching and training was the best thing that had ever happened to her.
There are times throughout our careers; we may say something offensive to someone and not even realize it. It was unintentional; however, we learn from those mistakes and continue to grow as managers, supervisors, and leaders. Apologize when appropriate. Take time to listen, observe, and be open to other people’s points of view. Be coachable. Take training courses on new leadership strategies. Hire a coach to help you get through any challenges you are facing. Learn from your daily interactions and reflect on how to do better next time around. ~ Patti
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During these uncertain and stressful times, more then ever, we need joy in our daily lives. Whether at work or at home. A smile can change someone’s day from gloomy to joyful, showing some compassion when a coworker is at their breaking point or providing a little laughter can help everyone get through these unusual circumstances.
A good laugh heals a lot of hurts. — Madeleine L’Engle
What are the benefits of laughter in the workplace?
Laughter can lower stress and boredom, strengthen the immune system, and enhance team engagement, collaboration, creativity, and well-being. It relaxes the body and defuses conflict.
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. — Victor Borge
How can you brighten someone’s day with a little laughter?
When were some times you and your team laugh at work?
What can you do to encourage laughter in the workplace?
Sometimes in our careers, we have all worked with someone who was unprofessional. They may come across, like they don’t care, or don’t even know how to behave in a professional setting, or don’t even realize their behavior is unprofessional. How do most people usually respond? Avoidance! They would rather avoid the situation instead of addressing the unprofessionalism. Why? because it is uncomfortable. There are a lot of supervisors whether new or experienced that shy away from confrontation thinking that the behavior will go away. However, in most cases, the behavior gets worse, because it’s not dealt with.
Is there a way to help or mentor them?
Yes, of course, there is, by addressing the behavior. People can’t change if they don’t know their behavior is displeasing.
🦋 Calmly explain to the unprofessional person, how to be treated with respect. Give an example of what is respectful and courteous.
Here are some examples:
“When you roll your eyes at me while I am speaking to you, this makes me feel disrespected. ”
“When you don’t respond to me with an answer, I feel frustrated and ignored. Please respond promptly.” (In this example it could be in person, email, text, etc.)
Beneath every behavior there is a feeling. And beneath each feeling is a need. And when we meet that need rather than focus on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause, not the symptom. ~ Ashleigh Warner
If we are all totally honest there are times in our careers when we have been an unprofessional person. A coworker pushed us over the edge with a passive-aggressive comment. The harsh boss that embarrassed you in front of your peers or in a group meeting and yells at everyone because of one coworker’s bad behavior and ruins everyone’s day. A argument in a staff meeting that went over the top.
I think this is one of the most challenging aspects of any job when working with the public or collaborating with coworkers. “How do I respond to unprofessional people?”
There are numerous reasons. Coworkers can be defensive, rude, sarcastic, have their own personal agenda and can be plain difficult. Some even enjoy causing workplace drama and spreading rumors. They get a high while watching the sh*t fly as the tension builds and the hostility grows around them.
We spend more time with our coworkers than with family. Coworkers sometimes know us better than we know ourselves. Some even like to push our buttons, so we will react unfavorably.
Some people don’t have speaking filters. They talk at the same time as the thoughts enter their head. They don’t even know what they said was unkind, disrespectful or demeaning. Some people you can’t approach them about their unprofessional behavior as a coworker. You may need to discuss the situation with your supervisor.
Beautiful things happen in your life when you distance yourself from all the negativity and drama. ~ Unknown
How can you make the most of it?
Before you approach the unprofessional person, think about how they will respond. Have a plan of action on how to communicate with recommended solutions. Be prepared. Will they accept the feedback or react unfavorably towards you.
No matter how awful someone treats you. Stop, reflect, and walk away. Believe me, I know, it is hard to walk away when emotions overtake you. However, just because you don’t react, it doesn’t mean you didn’t notice the behavior or accept it. The only way to stop a toxic person is not to engage with them. Address the situation later when you both have time to think it over and calm down, not in the heat of the moment. Choose your battles carefully, sometimes responding in anger makes you look like the fool in front of others.
Looking back in your career.
🦋 What were some of your experiences dealing with unprofessionals?
🦋 What did you learn from these experiences?
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Lately, I have been hearing this phrase when people are talking about their coworkers.
Don’t be that guy!
Employers and staff may use this term when someone has committed bad behavior or done something procedurally wrong. In some organizations, they use this term “Don’t be that (Guy) Person” for humiliation or an example of what not to do. The poster child of what not to be in the workplace.
Is shaming an effective management strategy?
Some say yes because it represents what not to do in the workplace and halts people from doing it.
How does “Don’t be that Person” cope with being the scapegoat?
Some quit some stay and deal with the whispering behind their backs and the harsh judgment while others checkout (isolate themselves).
Maybe some organizations want this type of shaming to keep things under control. If so, something is wrong. Someone once told me you live in a fantasy world if you think this type of management strategy will change.
What do you think?
Comments are welcome. What are your thoughts on this topic?
Take a look at yourself. Is the relationship problem really you? What is it about this person that triggers you? Is it past behavior? Do they remind you of someone? Do they remind you of something you don’t like within yourself?
Angela: Is this a group issue or is it an issue just for you. Do others in workplace share your issue? This points to something missing in the group environment.
Use the PAUSE and REFLECT Technique PAUSE for three to five seconds before responding. This gives you time to change your response or don’t respond at all.
What if you receive a nasty passive/aggressive email from your boss or coworker? Before responding back to the email. Write out your response. Don’t send it! Walk away for awhile. Sleep on it, if you don’t have to respond within the same day. Then rewrite it when you have calmed down. Have someone else read it that you trust to help tone it down before hitting the send button.
What to consider:
Should I stay at my current employment or move on?
Make a list of “why to stay” and “why to go”. Be upfront and honest. No holding back from the truth of the matter! Look at which column has the most reasons? Make your decision from there. Is there more good reason to stay? Or reasons to leave.
Are you interested in one on one coaching with Angela? Angela has one on one coaching program called Transformed Relationships, you can book a Relationship Clarity Call at https://loveandrelationshipcoach.setmore.com and discover more about the program.
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I recently started watching the long-running TV series Midsomer Murders on Netflix. The main character Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby is very dedicated to his job and capturing the murder(s). He is excellent at his job. While on a murder case he is very focused on his work, 24/7 until the murders(s) are caught and charged.
Chief Inspector Barnaby loves his job. It gives him purpose. He coaches and trains his sergeants to be dedicated, knowledgeable, reliable and very good detectives.
Trust is something hard to win, easy to lose and never to be taken lightly. ~ Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby, Midsomer Murders
In one episode Sargeant Dan Scott was getting rough with a suspect. After the incident and they were both alone in the vehicle Chief Inspector Barnaby told Sgt. Scott, you will not conduct yourself like that ever again under my watch. As a leader, Inspector Barnaby is not afraid to address bad behavior with his employees.
Do you see a lesson in this? ~ Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby, Midsomer Murders
Due to Chief Inspector Barnaby’s dedication to his job, he ends up disappointing his wife Joyce continuously. He is a good man. He loves his wife, but his job always comes first. He does have a habit of not showing up when working a murder case.
He will set up dinner dates with his wife while he is still investigating his case. He may even take her to a restaurant and be watching a suspect. Joyce will get up early to cook him breakfast and usually he rushes out without eating her prepared meal. They will plan on meeting up for a party or some other occasion and he either arrives late or not at all.
The cleverest lies are those were already inclined to believe. ~ Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby, Midsomer Murders
Joyce wants to spend more quality time with her husband, but he is always on the job 24/7. Does any of this sound familiar?
In one episode, Chief Inspector Barnaby was suppose to meet his wife Joyce at home and go with her to a party. He didn’t show up and Joyce went without him and had a wonderful time. He was locked in a cellar with Sgt. Scott all night and she didn’t even realize he didn’t come home. I think it surprised him that she wasn’t even worried about him.
In another episode, Joyce and his daughter Cully wanted to purchase a houseboat. Thinking a houseboat would create more family time together. The houseboat Joyce and Cully were looking at turned out to be the killers. No houseboat was purchased.
In another episode, Joyce wanted Chief Inspector Barnaby to start planning for his retirement and to become a mystery writer. She thought he would make more money and be around more. It wasn’t Chief Inspector Barnaby’s idea of retirement after the murder investigation.
What now? I’m going to have my cake and eat it.~ Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby, Midsomer Murders
In the TV show Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby is considered a family man. When he does arrive home for dinner, he is usually called out again.
How does his marriage survive? No work-life balance here!
Of course, he is a fictional character.
Do you think this is why he is still in a relationship?
I used to be a people person then people ruined it! ~ unknown
My husband and I were at WalMart and we saw this phrase on a T-shirt. I held up the T-shirt and said I am going to buy this. Being a leadership and work-life balance coach my job is to encourage people not to feel this way. So why did I want to buy the T-Shirt? Well, to be honest I had many days that I felt this way.
Have you ever felt this way? I know I did throughout my career especially when knee-deep in the day-to-day grind (Bull Sh*t). There were days I would go home and think why are people so hateful, judgmental, petty and disrespectful. Myself included.
What happened to kindness, empathy and compassion?
Reflection Questions About Daily Interactions With Ambitious People
Why is everything about who can “one up” each other?
Why is “knowledge power”? Instead of sharing it.
What happened to being genuinely happy for a coworker and recognizing their accomplishments?
Why is being so “busy” acceptable and “ignoring” family okay?
When will these concepts change in leadership?
Is anybody else out there ready for a mind shift in some basic decency and respect towards others? I know I am!
How about you?
To answer the 🔥 burning question: Did I buy the T-Shirt?Yes, I did. 🙂
P.S. I have received so many comments from people when I wear this T-Shirt. Like: That shirt is so funny. Oh, that shirt is so true. I love that shirt! Why do you think that is? Would love to see your thoughts and comments about this topic. ~ Patti
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