Lately, I have been hearing this phrase when people are talking about their coworkers.
Don’t be that guy!
Employers and staff may use this term when someone has committed bad behavior or done something procedurally wrong. In some organizations they use this term “Don’t be that (Guy) Person” for humiliation or an example of what not to do. The poster child of what not to be in the workplace.
Is shaming an affective management strategy?
Some say yes, because it represents what not to do in the workplace and halts people from doing it.
How does the “Don’t be that Person” cope with being the scapegoat?
Some quit, some stay and deal with the whispering behind their backs and the harsh judgement while others totally checkout (isolate themselves).
Maybe some organizations want this type of shaming to keep things under control. If so, something is definitely wrong. Someone once told me you live in a fantasy world if you think this type of management strategy will change.
What do you think?
Comments are welcome. What are your thoughts on this topic?
This is a bonus post of the Bad Leadership series. I was talking to one of my coaching friend’s Plynn Gutman about the Bad Leadership blog series. She said to me, you have to do an extra one on Leadership Vampires who steal employees successes and claim them as their own. In other words, does not give credit where credit is due. This blog post is for you Plynn and thank you for the suggestion.
How does it feel when your boss takes credit for your work? Not good at all. People don’t feel satisfied or appreciated when they are not acknowledge for their contributions. This happens and is a common practice within some organizations.
How do you handle this when it happens? (Pause and Reflect)
What is the organization culture?
Do they recognize people ideas or suggestions?
This will make a huge difference on how to react. Is it acceptable to stand up and take credit for your ideas. Will your direct supervisor support you when you do? Is it worth standing up and saying look at me?
I believe, yes, everyone should be recognized for their contributions. However, some managers don’t give credit where credit is due. Remember to pick your battles carefully especially when you work for Vampire Leaders.
Ask yourself:
Do I want to announce to everyone, hey, this was my idea?
If yes, (Stop, Pause and Reflect) – Will this halt any future career opportunities for me?
If no, schedule time to meet with your boss privately to discuss it.
When I think of Leadership Vampires, it is a Boss that sucks the life right out of you. They are harsh, aggressive, demanding and belittling. They show favoritism and leave you feeling beat down mentally and physically. When around them you may feel anxious, sick, angry or depressed. They have a habit of reprimanding staff in front of others and micro-managing employees time. They lack empathy and drain the positivity and creativity right out of you.
How do you deal with this type of Leadership?
Don’t react
Be calm
Listen patiently
Don’t interrupt
Don’t disagree
Pick your battles wisely
Apologize when necessary
Give them nothing to feed on. They love drama!
Take away:
Working for a Vampire leader is exhausting. Keep calm and don’t react to the harshness. Work hard and listen carefully. Say your daily positive affirmations throughout the day to keep yourself going. You got this!
Comments are always welcome and please share this post with your colleagues, friends, and family on your social networks! Sharing is caring.
Ghosting is breaking off a relationship by ceasing all communication and contact with the former partner without any apparent warning or justification, as well as avoiding or ignoring and refusing to respond to the former partner’s attempts to reach out or communicate.
What is Leadership Ghosting?
Here is my definition:
A leader who ceases to properly communicate, is unavailable, refuses or ignores to respond to questions or suggestions, but thinks he/she knows what is happening within the business. They make decisions that are bad or unreasonable and are disengaged from staff. They run the business through emails or texts. Misunderstandings occur due to lack of face to face contact or verbal conversation for details and guidance. The Ghosting Leaders make decisions without knowing the full scope of the situation or ask questions and these decisions are harmful to the organizations, the bottom line and the staff become very resentful due to the cause and effects of these decisions, as well as the lack of input.
Behavior of Leadership Ghosting:
A ghosting leader withdrawals communication with staff
Ignore employees
Fears conflict
Fears disappointing someone or looking like the “bad person”
Doesn’t want to deal with someone’s anger
These type of leaders don’t like to deal with uncomfortable situations. Instead of addressing the circumstance they avoid the situation altogether.
Examples of Ghosting:
Your boss said you would get a promotion and months later nothing
You apply for a position and go through the interview and weeks go by and you find out someone else got the position. The ghost leader didn’t tell you
You’re promised information by a certain day and time and never receive it
The dangers of Leadership Ghosting leaves employees feeling undervalued, disregarded and disappointed. This type of leadership style is unprofessional, rude and cruel.
If you recognize ghosting leaders in your organization or within yourself. Here are a few tips to encourage behavioral change in this leadership style.
Sit down with them and discuss the behavior you have observe
Ask questions, give feedback on their management style and suggestions on how to improve engagement with staff
Overcoming the fear of conflict will reduce anxiety, strengthen courage and promotes better communication skills. Start by responding back to emails, voicemails and texts even if it is short and to the point. Something is better than nothing. Meet with employees, listen and be engaged. As you address difficult situations it does get easier as time goes on.
Have you experienced Leadership Ghosting?
If yes, What was it like?
Comments are always welcome and please share this post with your colleagues, friends, and family on your social networks! Sharing is caring.
Bullying in the workplace has become a major topic in today’s world of leadership. Many of us have actually experienced workplace bullying during sometime in our careers.
Today, I am going to discuss the warning signs of a Workplace Bully Leaders to increase awareness.
What is Workplace Bullying?
According to Wikipedia Workplace bullying is a persistent pattern of mistreatment from others in the workplace that causes either physical or emotional harm. It can include such tactics as verbal, nonverbal, psychological, physical abuse and humiliation. This type of workplace aggression is particularly difficult because, unlike the typical school bully, workplace bullies often operate within the established rules and policies of their organization and their society. In the majority of cases, bullying in the workplace is reported as having been by someone who has authority over their victim. However, bullies can also be peers, and occasionally subordinates.
Signs of a Possible Workplace Bully Leaders:
Demeaning, disrespectful and devaluing employees capabilities
Public ridicule, sarcastic, insults, name-calling, threats, and intimidation
Targeting and creating social isolation with staff
Blaming, lying, gossiping, spreading rumors and whispering
Failing to give credit to employees for their work
Overloading targeted employee with a huge workload
Micro-Manages and commands respect without earning it
A know it all
Bully leaders create isolation and silo work environments. They divide staff and departments to keep control.
Why don’t people speak up? Employees are afraid of losing their jobs.
Bullying by leadership has been associated with number of physical and behavioral health issues for the employees who are targeted.
Warning Signs of an Employee Being Bullied:
Becomes less socially active or confident
Appears scared, stressed, anxious or depressed
Calling out sick more frequently than normal
Physical signs of tension such as headaches, backaches, not sleeping well and suicidal thoughts
If bullying is unaddressed the aggression and unresolved conflicts will continue to escalate. When not dealt with, it causes negative affects on the targeted workers – maybe even psychological, financial and physical burdens.
The Results to the Employers:
High Turnover and Absenteeism
Low Productivity
Lack of Creativity
Legal Costs
Damaged Reputation
If you recognize Workplace Bully Leaders in your organization or within yourself.
Here are a few tips to encourage behavioral change for this type of leadership style.
Sit down with them and discuss the behavior you have observe
Ask questions, give feedback on their management style and suggestions on how to improve engagement with staff
Set a zero tolerance approach of workplace bullying
Build trust and open door policies to discuss bullying
Schedule leadership training courses especially on bullying – Udemy.com
Bullying promotes an atmosphere of fear, vulnerability, anxiousness, and uncertainty. Awareness is the key to change. Develop a workplace of zero tolerance accompanied with training, coaching and mentoring to display compassion, empathy, safety and trust.
Have you had a Workplace Bully as a Boss?
If yes, How did they make you feel?
How did you overcome it?
Answering these questions above and sharing your experiences may help someone else dealing with a workplace bully.
Comments are always welcome and please share this post with your colleagues, friends, and family on your social networks! Sharing is caring.
Today, I am going to discuss the leadership style of an inflexible boss. These type of personalities are unapproachable at work and home. Any type of change is not welcome or encouraged. Working with this type of leader stifles innovation and creativity while leaving employees feeling resentful and unmotivated.
What is an inflexible leader?
The inflexible boss is arrogant, distant, unreasonable and unapproachable. They are closed minded to any changes and will not listen to any new ideas, consider different options or new technology. The inflexible boss promotes fear over staff to ensure they follow their ways of doing things.
Characteristics of this type to leadership style:
Punishes for not doing things their way
Their way or the highway
Don’t listen or open to any suggestions
Always right
Strictly by the book/procedures
Favorite phrase – We’ve always done it this way
Never says sorry
Lacks empathy
Jumps to conclusion before gathering all the facts
If you recognize inflexible leaders in your organization or within yourself. Here are a few tips to encourage behavioral change in this leadership style.
Sit down with them and discuss the behavior you have observed and explain that it is important to be open to new ways this helps the company to succeed
Ask questions, give feedback on their management style and suggestions on how to improve engagement with staff
A good leader will let employees try new and different ways of doing processes, especially if the current approach isn’t working or becoming mundane. Listening is essential to know what is working and what is not. Being approachable and welcoming is the first step to building trust and be able to hear what people are feeling and new ideas.
If yes, How did you feel working for them?
What were the obstacles and how did you deal with it?
Comments are always welcome and please share this post with your colleagues, friends, and family on your social networks! Sharing is caring.
An absentee leader is someone in a leadership position who is psychologically absent from their responsibilities as a leader. They are known as the “silent killers.”
Here are some characteristics of an absentee leader:
Psychologically absent from their staff.
Take value out of an organization without contributing back.
These leaders are laissez-faire (to let people do as they choose)
Don’t show up to meetings, unresponsive to emails, gives zero feedback and doesn’t share important information with employees.
Seldom engage with staff.
Organizations rarely confront the absentee leaders. If left unobserved they can halt succession planning, block potential staff from promoting and cause unproductively in the workplace. Those who report to them may become frustrated which has a negative impact on the employees and the work environment.
Teams with absent supervisors often feel they have no direction, are unrecognized, neglected and overlooked without any clear goals, guidance, and feedback. Employees don’t develop under an absentee leader.
The Destruction of the Absentee Leader:
Degrades the employee’s job satisfaction
Leads to job performance uncertainty
Employee’s stress levels and talents are drained
As long as the absentee leader has an employee who will pick up the slack this behavior will continue. The absentee leader enjoys the perks and entitlements of their title but isn’t doing the job. This type of leadership style is destructive. The hard-working employee’s who are actually doing the work aren’t receiving the support, recognition, or crucial feedback. The absentee leader accepts credit when things are going right and pushes blame on staff when things are not.
If you recognize an absentee leader in your organization or within yourself. Here are a few tips to encourage behavioral change in this leadership style.
Sit down with them and discuss the behavior you have observe
Ask questions, give feedback on their management style and suggestions on how to improve engagement with staff
Schedule leadership training courses to improve leadership development skills – Udemy.com or Lynda.com
Companies don’t always see the effects of this type of leadership style until the damage has already occurred.
Takeaway:
Recognize the absentee leader within your organization or inside yourself and address the situation. Employees want a leader who is there for them. Staff follow a leader who will coach, train, motivate, recognize their accomplishments and help them to succeed.
Have you experienced an absentee leader? If yes, What was it like?
Comments are always welcome and please share this post with your colleagues, friends, and family on your social networks! Sharing is caring.
How do you achieve a balanced life? Some say it is not achievable, while others say you can. What is a balanced life really? There are going to be times in our lives where we think it can never be achievable. Life is just plain chaotic at times.
How do you stay balanced when you feel everything is crashing down around you?
Does this sound like you?
You’re working on a major project at work, while trying to balance your home life responsibilities, rushing around as a parent to all the children activities, desiring some quality time with your spouse, craving to eat healthy and wanting to get enough exercise.
Recently, I felt this way myself with a big project going on and nothing seemed to be going as planned. Every time I turned around there was another obstacle in the way. Feeling totally exhausted; mentally and physically drained for months working on this project. Having many other people’s viewpoints and personal agendas colliding. Tempers flaring and patience levels being pushed to their breaking point. That’s what happens when you are an “A” type personality and things aren’t going the way you planned. I let the project over-consume me.
Quote:
Life is a balance of holding on and letting go……… ~ Unknown
From this experience I learned, that I forgot to take care of me. To walk away and enjoy the simple things in life. My diabetes glucose levels were way too high which contributed to feeling very tired, irritable and I definitely know better. I wasn’t listening to my own advise. Then going to the doctor and her increasing my medicine and being told you need to relax more and exercise more. Going to the chiropractor for my back and neck pain and her telling me to do more meditation and stress release exercises. What a wake up call!
Time to step back and say enough. Let it go and breathe. Reflect, reframe and refocus on what truly is important. Life is to be enjoyed, having some fun, and having lasting relationships.
I truly needed to go back to basics and work on these 5 steps for a balanced life.
Say No to Things You Don’t Want.
Build on Positive Relationships.
Create Healthy Boundaries.
Journal to Resolve Feelings and Issues.
Enjoy the Best Life Now!
Life is going to be chaotic, hectic and disappointing. How we react to it is what determines happiness. By remembering to put these 5 simple principles into practice and not forgetting to step back, breathe, and really enjoy your life, family, friends; and learning how to let go of what will not matter 5 years from now.
Call to Action:
Take the poll, put these 5 steps into your daily life and don’t let stress consume you. ~ Patti 🙂
Comments are always welcome and please share this post with your colleagues, friends, family and on your social networks!
Take this quick poll before reading the blog post. “Do You Share What You Do For A Living With Your Children”?
I am not sure how you answered the poll, however let’s talk about why there is value in sharing what you do with your children.
Developing a career path is a life long process, it usually starts in childhood and continues along with different choices, opportunities, on-going learning and achieving more and more experience. Most people decided on their careers when they were children. Parental engagement and involvement were key factors in influencing the child on pursuing their dream career, values and work ethic. Having positive and encouraging conversations with your children about your own career decisions is very valuable to them.
Talk with your children about your career story:
Start with your first job.
How you prepared or not prepared in high school and/or college with your career choices.
Talk about your networking connections, clubs, courses etc.
Discuss about the people who shaped you during your career; such as bosses, co-workers, mentors, coaches and etc.
Tell about your good choices and bad choices that influenced your career.
Discuss “What you would do differently”.
The amount of time you spend sharing and encouraging your children will open up their minds to think about what type of career they want and start working towards a plan of action to achieve it. It is important for children to discover their own strengths and interests. Have them try out as many different kinds of tasks and jobs to see what they like and don’t like. This will help them make a better decision on what career path to pursue.
This is something I don’t usually post but a while back I was asked this question by someone at a Leadership event. I really didn’t know how to answer the question. It wasn’t something I personally experienced. The more I started thinking about this question, I thought I would ask all of you for your experiences, opinions and thoughts. What do you think?
I really want to know the reasons why people leave their jobs. Take the poll and feel free to share your thoughts. My plan is to write a future blog post from the poll results. 🙂 ~ Patti
