Respectful Boundaries For Everyday: *What are boundaries? *What are they not? *How to work with boundaries if you find it a struggle. *Healthy boundaries define what is appropriate behavior in our relationship. *Boundaries differ from person to person. *Setting boundaries defines our expectations of ourselves and others. *Say no to things you don’t want to do.
What are some techniques you use for setting boundaries in your life?
In today’s podcast, we explore having good boundaries in the workplace.
Have you ever worked with someone who has no sense of boundaries?
What do I mean?
Heres’ an example:
Someone who asks you personal things or wants you to do something for them is entirely out of line, sarcastic, embarrassing, and takes advantage? They have no filter or common sense that it is not appropriate.
It could be your boss, a co-worker, or an employee.
How do you handle these situations without feeling rude, resentful, or used?
Here’s an example of setting boundaries with a person with no filter or asking things that are none of their business
I’ve worked with people who would say what they were thinking without stopping and pausing before speaking. There was no holding back if the words were unkind, insensitive, rude, pushy, harsh, gossip, or nosy.
I remember working with a person that loved to gossip about everyone at work. She would come into my office and start talking about others or trying to get information out of me. I would say I am swamped right now or change the subject or stand up and tell her I have to go. Finally, she stopped coming into my office to gossip.
What if someone is harsh, unkind, rude, and pushy to you? Ask them – how you are doing or what’s going on. You would be surprised how that can change the conversation from hostile to civil. Stating what’s going on gives them a chance to explain how they feel about their situation or problem.
Here’s an example of someone that takes advantage – the Doer and Slacker
The doer personality will sometimes take on your people’s work without recognizing that the slacker is pawning it off. Especially when a project is close to a deadline in a team environment, the Doer will step in to finish the project on time.
How does a Doer get the slacker to complete their part of the project? By not rescuing them. Let the project deadline go over, and don’t protect the slacker, the uncompleted task assigned to the slacker, and everyone knows it. If the slacker is accountable for their actions, they will have to start stepping up to complete their part when everyone doesn’t let them get away with it. Keeping up with the boundary of not doing the slacker work is necessary to change the behavior and for the boss to become aware. Remember, it is not your responsibility for that person’s lack of completion. You are responsible for yourself and you alone; this is a complex concept for the Doer, but setting the boundary of not covering and doing all the work will stop being taken advantage of and give you more time to do the things you enjoy.
As a manager or supervisor, there are times when employees push the boundaries, asking you things you can’t discuss and communicating to them that you can’t comment on this.
What are some boundary techniques you use at work?
