When There Isn’t Enough and Emotions Get in the Way

In today’s blog post I am going to tell a story about getting upset over a situation which may sound ridiculous.

Recently, I was at the bowling alley.  I get to the bowling alley pretty early to reserve a table and chairs for my team. Tables are precious commodity because there are not enough tables for all the bowling teams.  If you don’t get a table your team has to sit down on the lanes or stand up all night.

Past experience:

I’ve had people actually move my stuff off the table or take chairs if I walked away.  Now, when I get a table I feel I can’t even walk away until one of my bowling team members comes and sits down.

Usually, I am pretty easy-going and don’t confront people on their rude behaviors.  But this particular day I had enough and said something.

My version of what happened:

This guy (I will call him Fred) from another bowling team grabbed one of the chairs at my table and move it so his daughter could sit down and Fred put her right in front of our table.  He didn’t say anything to me just grabbed the chair.  If Fred had asked me I would have said sure she can have the chair and go get another chair.

Here are the thoughts that were going in my head:

I get there an hour and a half early to reserve the table and chairs and Fred walks in 15 minutes before bowling starts and acts like he owns the place.

So I said to Fred you need to get me another chair.  He said ma’am you are being rude just take another chair from the table next to you.  Then one of his team members says to me “you already have 6 chairs”.  I had 5 chairs for the 5 team members on my team.  I wasn’t going to take one from another reserved table.

Then Fred commanded his daughter to grab a chair from the table next to me which another team had been saving almost as long as me.   His daughter didn’t want to do it.  But Fred insisted and she did.

I was so angry.  Usually, I wouldn’t have been mad or even said anything but his attitude and arrogance reeked of “I don’t care” and “I am going to do what I want”.  No consideration at all to others.

So I told (Chuck, not real name) on another team what happened and Fred said “quit talking behind my back the chair was for my daughter”.  This made Chuck very uncomfortable, he got up and said I don’t know what to tell you, talk to the league secretary.  Later, I found out Fred and Chuck are sort of friends.  (Awkward!).  The reason I told Chuck is because he was there early just like me and has had similar things happen with his tables.

Feeling embarrassed and betrayed I did a group text to my bowling team about the chair incident.  This foolish chair escapade had me upset all night, needless to say I didn’t bowl good, however Fred did.

At the end of the bowling night one of my team members (Seth, not real name) went and spoke with Fred.  Fred told Seth that he had a rough day and he was just getting the chair for his daughter.  Seth said to Fred if you asked her she would have gladly given you the chair.

Why do we get so upset over the little things and continue not to let it go?

Yes, I should have probably handled the situation in a totally different way but I didn’t.  Yes, I probably shouldn’t have gotten other people involved, but I did.

Was it ridiculous to get upset over a chair?

Maybe, however the small things will continue to add up into bigger things when the issue is not resolved.

Takeaway:

We all make choices whether good or bad throughout life.  Each day is a learning lesson.  Sometimes not saying anything is the best result.  Maybe the less we respond to rude people, the less drama we create in our lives.  Here is a good reminder. You may never know what someone else is going through and just maybe they’re having a really bad day.  Be kind anyways. ~ Patti 🦋

🦋 My question for you 🦋

 How would you have handled this situation?

 

Comments are always welcome.  

Please share this blog post with your colleagues, friends, and family on all your social networks! 

Are you interested in one to one coaching with me?  I have coaching packages available.  Contact me at patti@coachingforinspirationwithpatti.com

Do you want better relationships? If yes, come hang out with Angela Ambrosia, Love & Relationship coach and me while listening to all of our podcast adventures called Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela & Patti Podcast

Want even more tips about creating better relationships? Come join our Facebook group called Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela & Patti Facebook Group

 

2017 Vision Statement (How to Write One for Your Business)

vision-planning-goal

With the New Year coming soon, this is a great time to start thinking about the upcoming year and your business strategic goals.  A “Vision Statement” is a great way to get the planning started.

What is a Vision Statement?

According to BusinessDirectory.com ~ the definition of a “Vision Statement” means:
An aspirational description of what an organization would like to achieve or accomplish in the mid-term or long-term future. It is intended to serves as a clear guide for choosing current and future courses of action.

A Vision Statement helps keep a business on track.  It is to inspire, encourage, and energize your business.  It is a visual reminder of why you are in business.

How to create a Vision Statement:

  1. The statement should be within one or two sentences and about ten to thirty words.
  2. It needs to be specific to your business and aligned to the business values.
    a.   What do you believe?
    b.   Why do you do it?
    c.   What is the purpose?
    d.   What does the business do?
    e.   What does the business want to be known for?
    f.   What problems or services does the business want to solve?
  3. Keep it simple. Do not use jargon or abbreviation.
  4. Make the Vision Statement with emotion.  Be passionate, unique, different, dream big and focus on business success.
  5. Write the Vision Statement in present tense.
  6. Describe your business outcome in five to ten years as if it was now.
  7. After composing the draft for the Vision Statement seek out truthful honest feedback and review from others.
  8. From the feedback responses, if needed, rewrite the Vision Statement to perfection.

Why does a Business Need a Vision Statement?

A Vision Statement is a clear vision of desired outcomes that inspires your business.  It defines the direction and strategy of the business and supports a continual focus on where the business wants to be.  If your business doesn’t have a Vision Statement the business is without direction and inspiration.

The Take Away:

A Vision Statement keeps the business moving in the right direction.  It is a constant reminder of where the business wants to be.  It motivates, inspires and guides the business on what it wants to achieve.

Comments are always welcome and please share this post with your colleagues, friends, family and on your social networks!

Become a Better Leader [e-Book] Click here to download your copy.

Quiz – Is Your Job Too Stressful?

Tips on Running an Efficient and Effective Meeting

Meeting

As a leader having efficient and effective meetings is so important to every aspect of running a successful business.  Meetings that aren’t productive waste valuable time and cost the company money.

Here are some tips on how to run a productive meeting:

  • Have a written agenda in advance and distribute before the meeting so attendees have time to read it and write down questions or concerns.  If the attendees do have questions or concerns request in the invitation for them to send their questions in advance so they can be addressed in the meeting.
  • Establish ground rules, etiquette, adhering to schedule and staying on topic.  Ask everyone to put away detractions such as: cell phones, iPads and to focus on what is being discussed except for the note taker.
  • Invite people who need to be there, the decision makers and experts on the subject.
  • Encourage open discussion but stick to the agenda time line.
  • Redirect the “off topic” discussions to be addressed later.
  • Plan breaks if more than two hours.
  • Have someone other than the meeting leader to take notes and distribute them after the meeting.
  • Meeting notes are a good reminder of what was discuss and follow-up action steps of who is responsible to get things accomplished.

Here are some examples when meetings are NOT productive or efficient:

  • No agenda, very disorganized and complete chaos.  The big question “Why are here”?
  • Attendees get off topic.
  • People talk over each other.
  • Private side conversations in the meeting when someone else is talking to the group.
  • Attendees on their cell phones texting, answering emails and/or looking at Facebook instead of participating in the meeting.

Having set ground rules and behavior etiquette is so important to running successful meetings. Being organized and prepared is critical.  Being courteous and respectful allows everyone to speak, to be heard, participate, engaged and this is when great results will happen.  As a leader, we lead by example and if we are not focused and engaged; our employees will not be either.  ~ Patti

Discussion Questions:

  1. From your past experiences “What was a productive meeting”?
  2. From your past experiences “How did you feel attending meetings when nothing was accomplished”?
  3. Were these tips helpful?  Why or why not?

Comments are always welcome and please share this post with your colleagues, friends, family and on your social networks!

Become a Better Leader [e-Book] Click here to download your copy.

Quiz – Is Your Job Too Stressful?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Having Integrity at Work

shutterstock_434662855 ~ Lead by Example

Definition of Work Integrity:

According to the BusinessDictionary the definition of Integrity means the following:

1. Strict adherence to a moral code, reflected in transparent honesty and complete harmony in what one thinks, says, and does.
2. State of a system where it is performing its intended functions without being degraded or impaired by changes or disruptions in its internal or external environments.
3. Stored or transmitted data that is free from any unauthorized change. See also data integrity.

Characteristics of Having Integrity:

  • Staying true to your word.  Keeping obligations and promises to others such as employer, staff and customers.
  • Commit and attend your scheduled appointments and meetings on time.
  • Doing the right thing even when no one is watching.
  • Make a mistake own up to it, apologize and don’t blame others, take responsibility and be accountable for your actions.
  • Give credit where credit is due.
  • Do not associate with people who lack work integrity.
  • Lead by being a good example.  Everyone is observing your choices whether they are good or bad.

Characteristics with Lack of Integrity:

  • Coming to work late, leaving early, calling in sick when you are not really sick, taking longer breaks and lunches.  Creating excuses for this behavior which is taking advantage of your employer, supervisor and co-workers.
  • Having your co-workers cover for you because you are doing personal stuff such as; surfing the web, making personal phone calls and/or texting instead of working.
  • Not following policies and procedures.  Taking short cuts which cause errors and produce customers complaints.
  • Blaming others instead of taking responsibility for your actions.

Integrity is being honest with others and yourself.  Doing what is right even when no one is watching.  Staying true to your word and actions.  Facing the consequences for your decisions and choices.

As a leader, integrity is so important to being a good leader.  With integrity there is no covering up, no guilt, no shame or second guessing what is right or wrong.  Reflect on the choices you make.  If you make a mistake own up to it and learn from that mistake.  Everyone falls down sometimes.  Apologize and fix it.  Strive to lead by being a good example in all aspects of your life.  By having integrity these are the keys to ultimate success.

 Self-Reflection Questions

What does integrity mean to you?

What is the importance of having integrity?

Do you think it is acceptable to be right on the edge of right and wrong and still have integrity? Why or why not?

Become a Better Leader [e-Book] Click here to download your copy.

Quiz – Is Your Job Too Stressful?

Comments are always welcome and please share this post with your colleagues, friends, family and on your social networks!

[Poll] The Value of Sharing “What You Do” with Your Children

Career

Take this quick poll before reading the blog post.  “Do You Share What You Do For A Living With Your Children”?

 

I am not sure how you answered the poll, however let’s talk about why there is value in sharing what you do with your children.

Developing a career path is a life long process, it usually starts in childhood and continues along with different choices, opportunities, on-going learning and achieving more and more experience.  Most people decided on their careers when they were children.  Parental engagement and involvement were key factors in influencing the child on pursuing their dream career, values and work ethic.  Having positive and encouraging conversations with your children about your own career decisions is very valuable to them.

Talk with your children about your career story: 

Start with your first job.  

How you prepared or not prepared in high school and/or college with your career choices.

Talk about your networking connections, clubs, courses etc. 

Discuss about the people who shaped you during your career; such as bosses, co-workers, mentors, coaches and etc.

Tell about your good choices and bad choices that influenced your career.  

Discuss “What you would do differently”.

The amount of time you spend sharing and encouraging your children will open up their minds to think about what type of career they want and start working towards a plan of action to achieve it.  It is important for children to discover their own strengths and interests. Have them try out as many different kinds of tasks and jobs to see what they like and don’t like.  This will help them make a better decision on what career path to pursue.

Become a Better Leader [e-Book] Click here to download your copy.

Quiz – Is Your Job Too Stressful?

Comments are always welcome and please share this post with your colleagues, friends, family and on your social networks!

“What are the best times, days and topics for Coffee, Coaching and More Workshops?”

Coaching for Inspiration with Patti Coffee Cups

What is Coffee, Coaching & More with Patti?

These workshops are for the busy person who knows their dreams really matter.  Coffee, Coaching and More Sessions bring you together with others in a fun, friendly and supportive environment with a different confidence-boosting topic each month.

Spend two hours focusing on you with no distractions, no pressure, and no judgement on different life topics.

Together we will look at situations which may be holding you back, limiting beliefs, procrastination, lack of time, low self-confidence, feeling overwhelmed and how to overcome these and live the life you really want.

The polls below are to inspire the perfect days, times and topics for great participation in future workshops.

What days and times would work best for you?

Which topics would you be interested in attending?

Facing Shadows

Shadow

Unless you learn to face your own shadows, you will continue to see them in others, but the world outside you is only a reflection of the world inside you. ~ Author Unknown

When reading this quote what does it bring to mind?  There are so many ways to interpret this quote.  Since this month’s theme is “Understanding You” I will go with that angle.

When looking at our own shadows, we see a reverse projection of ourselves blocking the light.  If we learn to understand that we all have imperfections we may be more empathetic towards others.

If you don’t face your own shadows, you will continue to see them in others.  This reflection of the world inside you can hinder your relationships in the world outside of you.  If you look at the shadow too long it distorts perspective.

Question for self-reflection:  What shadows do you need to face?

Feel free to share your thoughts on this topic below in “Leave a Reply”. 

Coaching for Inspiration

CoachingforInspirationwithPatti.com – TM

To contact me for a private confidential discovery coaching session.   Fill out the contact form below.   In the comment section specify you would like a free 30 minute discovery session.

Coaching sessions can be conducted in various methods.

  • By Phone
  • By Skype
  • In Person