When There Isn’t Enough and Emotions Get in the Way

In today’s blog post I am going to tell a story about getting upset over a situation which may sound ridiculous.

Recently, I was at the bowling alley.  I get to the bowling alley pretty early to reserve a table and chairs for my team. Tables are precious commodity because there are not enough tables for all the bowling teams.  If you don’t get a table your team has to sit down on the lanes or stand up all night.

Past experience:

I’ve had people actually move my stuff off the table or take chairs if I walked away.  Now, when I get a table I feel I can’t even walk away until one of my bowling team members comes and sits down.

Usually, I am pretty easy-going and don’t confront people on their rude behaviors.  But this particular day I had enough and said something.

My version of what happened:

This guy (I will call him Fred) from another bowling team grabbed one of the chairs at my table and move it so his daughter could sit down and Fred put her right in front of our table.  He didn’t say anything to me just grabbed the chair.  If Fred had asked me I would have said sure she can have the chair and go get another chair.

Here are the thoughts that were going in my head:

I get there an hour and a half early to reserve the table and chairs and Fred walks in 15 minutes before bowling starts and acts like he owns the place.

So I said to Fred you need to get me another chair.  He said ma’am you are being rude just take another chair from the table next to you.  Then one of his team members says to me “you already have 6 chairs”.  I had 5 chairs for the 5 team members on my team.  I wasn’t going to take one from another reserved table.

Then Fred commanded his daughter to grab a chair from the table next to me which another team had been saving almost as long as me.   His daughter didn’t want to do it.  But Fred insisted and she did.

I was so angry.  Usually, I wouldn’t have been mad or even said anything but his attitude and arrogance reeked of “I don’t care” and “I am going to do what I want”.  No consideration at all to others.

So I told (Chuck, not real name) on another team what happened and Fred said “quit talking behind my back the chair was for my daughter”.  This made Chuck very uncomfortable, he got up and said I don’t know what to tell you, talk to the league secretary.  Later, I found out Fred and Chuck are sort of friends.  (Awkward!).  The reason I told Chuck is because he was there early just like me and has had similar things happen with his tables.

Feeling embarrassed and betrayed I did a group text to my bowling team about the chair incident.  This foolish chair escapade had me upset all night, needless to say I didn’t bowl good, however Fred did.

At the end of the bowling night one of my team members (Seth, not real name) went and spoke with Fred.  Fred told Seth that he had a rough day and he was just getting the chair for his daughter.  Seth said to Fred if you asked her she would have gladly given you the chair.

Why do we get so upset over the little things and continue not to let it go?

Yes, I should have probably handled the situation in a totally different way but I didn’t.  Yes, I probably shouldn’t have gotten other people involved, but I did.

Was it ridiculous to get upset over a chair?

Maybe, however the small things will continue to add up into bigger things when the issue is not resolved.

Takeaway:

We all make choices whether good or bad throughout life.  Each day is a learning lesson.  Sometimes not saying anything is the best result.  Maybe the less we respond to rude people, the less drama we create in our lives.  Here is a good reminder. You may never know what someone else is going through and just maybe they’re having a really bad day.  Be kind anyways. ~ Patti 🦋

🦋 My question for you 🦋

 How would you have handled this situation?

 

Comments are always welcome.  

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Are you interested in one to one coaching with me?  I have coaching packages available.  Contact me at patti@coachingforinspirationwithpatti.com

Do you want better relationships? If yes, come hang out with Angela Ambrosia, Love & Relationship coach and me while listening to all of our podcast adventures called Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela & Patti Podcast

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Building Better Relationships [Podcast] – Episode 6 – How’s Your Love Life With Your Phone?

Episode 6 podcast – How’s Your Love Life With Your Phone?   In this podcast Patti and Angela discuss how the cell phone can enhance and limit relationships with others.  They also talk about their personal relationships with their own phones. 

Click here to listen – How’s Your Love Life With Your Phone? 

Take the poll and then listen to Patti and Angela answer to this question.  You may be surprised!

 

Here’s the quote Patti read in the podcast:

Please share this podcast with others, push the like button on Anchor and leave us an encouraging review.

Discover Patti’s new online course:  INCREDIBLE WORK-LIFE BALANCE HACKS for BUSY LEADERS
This course is for leaders who are crazy busy, works 24/7 and wants something more in their life.  The course has 7 hacks to create some balance in this so called busy life! coaching-for-inspiration-with-patti.teachable.com/

Check out the ENERGY BODY OF SELF ACCEPTANCE PROGRAM 

Put Your Relationship with yourself as a priority and discover a simple energy system with movement and exercises that empower you to accept yourself, overcome old habits and discover what love is that allows self acceptance to happen effortlessly. https://bit.ly/2BMG79s

Read Angela’s blog post Turn OFF Your Phone and Get Turned ON 

Angela and I would like to thank our sponsor Brandless for supporting our podcast.  To learn more about Brandless click here on the link.

Want even more relationships tips? Come join our Facebook group called Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela & Patti Facebook Group

Are you interested in coaching with Patti?  I have coaching packages available.  Contact me at patti@coachingforinspirationwithpatti.com

 

Fidget Spinners the New Craze – Why?

Fidget spinners are everywhere.  Have you seen one?  If the answer is no, maybe you didn’t know what it was.  It is the new craze with children and adults.

What is a Fidget spinner?  According to Wikipedia below here is the definition of a Fidget Spinner: 

fidget spinner is a toy that consists of a ball-bearing in the center of a multi-lobed flat structure made from metal or plastic designed to spin along its axis with little effort.

Fidget spinners became popular toys in April 2017, although similar devices had been invented as early as 1993. The popularity of the toy among children and teenagers has led some schools to ban use of the spinners in class for being a distraction, while other schools have allowed the toy to be used discreetly.

The toy has been advertised as helping people who have trouble with focusing or fidgeting  by relieving nervous energy or psychological stress. There are claims that a fidget spinner can be used to help calm people down who suffer from anxiety and other neurological disorders like ADHD and autism.  However, as of May 2017, there is no scientific evidence that they are effective as a treatment for autism or ADHD. ~ Wikipedia

In this video below is a demonstration of a fidget spinner which Allen Blau a friend of mine made from an old skate board.  He removed the bearings and glued them together so it would be balanced.   Allen says it doesn’t spin like all the fancy ones, but the weight and size is perfect for him.

 

There is talk that the fidget spinner helps the brain focus and reduces stress.  This produces a calming visual simulation and some even compare the fidget spinners to stress balls to relieve high intense stress levels in the workplace.

Recently schools have started to ban fidget spinners saying they are a distraction and disruption in the classrooms for the students and teachers.

What about the workplace?  Are fidget spinners a distraction similar to having personal cell phones in the work area?  I am all for reducing stress and burn-out in the workplace, however if it is a constant distraction and taking away from work performance then guidelines need to be established on what is acceptable and was is not.

Do I know for sure if fidget spinners really reduce stress and anxiety?  No I do not, however some individuals say it does reduce their stress and anxiety.  Scientific researchers are still gathering data on this subject.  Will this craze end before the research is gathered?  Only time will tell.

 

 

 

Take Away:

Here are my thoughts, if an individual benefits from a fidget spinner and it helps their brain focus and they are less stressed-out; what does taking a few minutes out of the day hurt?  Now, we all know there are going to be people who abuse everything, that is their nature, however why should one person ruin it for everyone else.  Accountability is the key, if you abuse something, it will be taken away; and boundaries need to be set and followed.  Enjoy life with less stress, however don’t be the one, with lack of restraint and spoil it for others. ~ Patti

To learn more about a stress free life; sign up and click on the link 21- Days Optimal Work/Life Balance Workshop.

Comments are always welcome and please share this post with your colleagues, friends, family and on your social networks for others to get inspired!

To learn more about one to one coaching with Patti – email me at: patti@coachingforinspirationwithpatti.com

A Workplace Phenomenon – the Narcissistic Manager

A while back, I was on a weekend camping trip with some friends.  The trip was great.  We were at Apache Lake, Arizona and camped on the beach.  The mountain views, sunsets and the beautiful night skies were amazing.

One evening, we were getting ready to play a card game and my friend starting telling me about his thoughts regarding hard working employees and narcissistic managers.

 A Workplace Phenomenon:

The hard-working individuals that give their all at work, however with all their efforts and good work performance, they are not recognized or promoted.

Then, there is the narcissistic managers who get promoted, do not give their all, do minimal work, are aggressive, know it alls, braggers and life pleasures seem to be handed to them quickly and easily.  They charm the higher-ups and belittle the others around them with sarcastic and rude comments. Everything is about them, however upper management has no clue about their lack of work performance, integrity or inappropriate behavior.  They are cunning and use others to do all their work.  They act like they are working and tell everyone how busy they are, but they sit on the phone all day gossiping about others.  They take credit for their employees work and boost about how wonderful they are.

What are the warning signs that someone in leadership is a Narcissistic Manager?

  • They lack empathy and compassion.
  • They are always right.
  • They have poor listening skills and only want to listen to what they want to hear.
  • They are all about titles and status.
  • They don’t believe in coaching or mentoring.
  • They control and dominate group meetings.
  • They are very competitive.
  • They get rid of employees who don’t agree with them or are independent thinkers.  They want “yes” people in their inter-circle.
  • They are terrible at sustaining relationships.
  • As they move up the corporate ladder, these characteristics become more and more apparent.

I have been told that someday all the Narcissistic Leaders will eventually be found out it, however what about all the damage they cause along the way?  With the Narcissistic Managers continually moving up the corporate ladder and the ongoing damage to the hard working loyal employees keeps escalating. When will organizations wake-up and realize why they are losing good employees and  the Narcissistic Managers are causing a huge negative impact to their bottom line? ~ Patti

What are your thoughts about this topic?  Have you ever worked with a Narcissistic Manager as your leader?  What impact did the Narcissistic Leader have on you and your career?  

Does this resonate with you?  If so, please share your comments below and/or take the poll.

 

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[Poll] The Value of Sharing “What You Do” with Your Children

Career

Take this quick poll before reading the blog post.  “Do You Share What You Do For A Living With Your Children”?

 

I am not sure how you answered the poll, however let’s talk about why there is value in sharing what you do with your children.

Developing a career path is a life long process, it usually starts in childhood and continues along with different choices, opportunities, on-going learning and achieving more and more experience.  Most people decided on their careers when they were children.  Parental engagement and involvement were key factors in influencing the child on pursuing their dream career, values and work ethic.  Having positive and encouraging conversations with your children about your own career decisions is very valuable to them.

Talk with your children about your career story: 

Start with your first job.  

How you prepared or not prepared in high school and/or college with your career choices.

Talk about your networking connections, clubs, courses etc. 

Discuss about the people who shaped you during your career; such as bosses, co-workers, mentors, coaches and etc.

Tell about your good choices and bad choices that influenced your career.  

Discuss “What you would do differently”.

The amount of time you spend sharing and encouraging your children will open up their minds to think about what type of career they want and start working towards a plan of action to achieve it.  It is important for children to discover their own strengths and interests. Have them try out as many different kinds of tasks and jobs to see what they like and don’t like.  This will help them make a better decision on what career path to pursue.

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Quiz – Is Your Job Too Stressful?

Comments are always welcome and please share this post with your colleagues, friends, family and on your social networks!

[Poll] What are the Hardest Parts of Your Job?

Inspirational

As leaders and team members we all struggle with certain areas of our job.   Take a few moments and self-reflect on which topics speak to you.  Then select those particular items within the poll.  The poll results will inspire future blog posts regarding these subjects which are important to you.   All polls selections are anonymous.  Participate in the poll by selecting your choices and click vote.  Comments are always welcome and please share it with your colleagues and on your social networks!~ Patti

 

Become a Better Leader [e-Book] Click here to download your copy.