Damaged Relationships – Are They Salvageable?

Most of us have some sort of damaged relationships.  Even I have wounds and I struggle with forgiveness.  I know we should forgive and forget. Non-forgiveness causes physical and emotional harm.  Forgiveness will set us free, but what if the person you want to forgive continues the same hurtful behavior?

  • Apologies are never given.
  • Hurtful words are not forgotten.
  • Gossiping, bullying, and sharp razor tongues continue.
  • Boundaries are pushed aside or dismissed.
  • The people pleasers trying to pacify everyone, instead makes everything worse.
  • Family members speaking ill of each other or about someone’s spouse even when their children are in the room.

When these types of family dynamics continue to go on and don’t stop.  Children get hurt and carry those damaged emotions forever and the disruptive behavior carries on.

How can relationships heal if these type of behaviors are allowed to continue and fester?  They can’t.  Something has to change.

Are these relationships salvageable?

To be honest, I believe some yes and some no.

Yes, if both parties want this conflict resolved and if willing to sit down,  respectfully communicate with each other, listen to each other side of the situation and then both apologize.  I believe with continual effort and respectfulness it is salvageable.

No, if one of the parties doesn’t want to resolve it, or apologize, or doesn’t want to make the situation better.

Each individual is responsible for their own actions and the words they speak.  I am very guilty of letting the cycle continue instead of putting a stop to it myself.  Especially when trying to enforce boundaries, so the behavior will stop.  There will be people who will bust down those fences or bully their way in.

Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you. ~ Spanish Proverb

How do you stop the gossiping and ill talk?

One person at a time.  When someone speaks bad about another family member – walk away, change the subject, or say to them politely, I don’t want to hear this, or say something nice about the person who is being gossiped about.  I know this may be uncomfortable.  Believe me, I struggle with this myself.  I am definitely, a work in progress and probably always will be.  Hurtful words are weapons and when people are wounded, they will afflict pain on others.

Strategies to Halt Gossip:

  • Awareness of what is happening
  • Say something nice or nothing at all
  • Don’t repeat gossip or something you were told in confidence
  • Make a conscious decision to stop these behaviors

Words once spoken can never be recalled. ~ Wentworth Dillion

How would you feel, if you heard others speaking unkind about you?

Would you forgive?

Would you react?

Would you ignore it?

Would you not care?

Gossiping and speaking bad about others has become an acceptable social activity.  Whether it is at home or at work.  

The next time you are about to say something unkind about someone.

Pause and reflect:

How would I feel if someone said that about me?

How would it make that person feel?

Would those words hurt others I love?

 

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What is a Good Leader? [Video]

 

What is a Good Leader?

A good leader listens and explains the why.

Has a talented way to give feedback without deflating the employee.

The ability to communicate the strategic plan.

Motivates and encourages to obtain goals.

A good leader is trustworthy and dependable.

They coach and mentor their employees to succeed within their organization.

They are upfront about difficult situations.

Just think of the possibilities, if everyone had a good leader.

These are some of the traits, I believe makes a good leader. ~ Patti

Please feel free to share your comments below “Leave a Reply”on “What you think is a good leader?”

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A good LEADER create LEADERS in others!

Follow the Leader

What is a good leader?  How does a good leader create leaders in others?  Those are great questions to ponder.

What is a good leader to me?

A good leader listens even when they don’t agree and has the ability to explain their outlook and why.  Has a talented way to give constructive feedback without deflating the employee.  Hold others accountable for their actions and hold themselves accountable, as well.

The ability to communicate the strategic plan and goals for the future of the team.  Motivate and encourage team members to obtain these goals with leadership and team building skills.

A good leader is trustworthy, honest, ethical, loyal, dedicated and dependable.  They coach, mentor and respect their employees and want them to succeed within their organization.  They are upfront about difficult uncomfortable situations and the subordinates are not guessing or assuming what they really meant.  These are a few traits I believe makes a good leader.

How does a good leader create leaders in others?

A good leader meets with their employees one on one to discuss personal development.  The supervisor and staff member create an action plan with goals and training courses.  Through coaching, mentoring, a career development plan and leading with a proven successful manner, the employee will be on a career path of purpose.  It is up to the individual to pursue their dreams and aspirations to be a good leader.  Don’t underestimate the importance of having a good coach, leader or person in your life to assist you along the way. Having a good leader to follow is priceless. Just think, what possibilities could be in the workplace if everyone was a good leader.  ~ Patti

Please feel free to share your comments below in “Leave a Reply”. 

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Quiz – Is Your Job Too Stressful?

Coaching for Inspiration

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To contact me for a private confidential discovery leadership coaching session.   Fill out the contact form below.   In the comment section specify you would like a free 30 minute discovery leadership session.

Coaching sessions can be conducted in various methods.

  • By Phone
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Active LISTENING in the workplace

What is the importance of active listening?

  • Understanding the other person’s point of view.
  • Learning from the other person who is speaking.
  • Being respectful and attentive.
  • Being engaged in the conversation.
  • Asking questions and giving feedback.

What does active listening mean to you?

It is essential in any relationship to be open and really listen to others!

Stop thinking about what you are going to say next and really be in the moment of listeningWhen you are too busy interrupting and expressing your opinion you miss out on connecting with others and learning new things. Active listening is a great way to work on improving struggling relationships. Give it a try and let me know how it went. ~ Patti

Coaching for Inspiration

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com – TM

How to become a better LEADER – Podcast by Coaching for Inspiration with Patti

Tips:

  • Practice active listening and see how much more engaged your employees will be with you.
  • Get passionate about the job and see if others get passionate as well.
  • Give and accepts honest feedback.
  • Learn from your mistakes.
  • Be compassionate towards your employees.
  • Have one on one meetings with your employees.

Question: What are you doing to become a better leader?

Coaching for Inspiration

Coaching for InspirationwithPatti.
com – TM

 

Listening is a very important skill that shows LOVE and RESPECT to others.

There are times in our lives where we just want to be left alone and don’t want to listen to others yet the other person really needs to be heard and feel understood.  After a very busy and stressful day at work sometimes all we want to do is be alone with quiet except our spouse or significant other wants our full attention to tell us about their day.  Being a good respectful listener provides verification to them that we love and respect them.  This holds true for others you interact with throughout the day.  Step back take a breath and just listen by focusing on them.  Making this small change just might improve your relationship with others.

Question:  Are you being a good listener?

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