It’s becoming common now that people are starting to label and blame the end of a relationship on their former partner. Instead of taking responsibility for their choices within the relationship and the other person, they were a narcissist. Is it easier to blame everything on the other person instead of self-reflecting on what went wrong within the relationship?
What did you learn?
What will you look for before entering into a relationship next time?
What do you want from a relationship?
What are the deal breakers?
Angela talks about the book Brain Wash by David Perlmutter. He has many studies showing that narcissistic behaviors are connected to the generations that use more social media. So that could make it easier for people to blame people for selfish behavior because it is a typical cultural attitude.
When self-reflecting, ask these questions to yourself:
*What did I learn?
*What will I look for before entering into a relationship next time?
Angela speaks about dance and meditation. Dance is about feeling yourself. Meditation is about seeing yourself. Both dance and meditation help you to look inward – not outward. Want to Dance with Angela?
DISCLOSURE: Please be aware that Angela and Patti may be sharing affiliate links in this podcast/post. Please know that we only ever share products and services that we use or have used ourselves and found great value.
Angela and Patti have a special guest Belle Vivienne from Belle Vivienne Coaching, joining us to discuss Dating in the Pre and Post COVID World and what opportunity for online relationships has to offer.
Belle shares her experience where people during the pandemic are not using dating creatively and using online dating to dump their emotions on potential love interests or political grief and general angst. Belle shared how important it is to focus on self-healing and not dump your feelings or hurts about past relationships on others during the podcast. Taking a look at yourself and see what needs healing so that you can come to a potential new love interest and online dating with a playful and gracious approach and have more fun!
How we do dating and how we seek romantic love and build better relationships.
In the podcast, Angela shared how she was asked by a teenager, “What is chemistry?”.
If you are in a couple, or single and looking to experience yourself more deeply, Angela offers: Movement Meditation classes where you can explore how your body can know itself at both the physical and spiritual level. If you do the class with a friend or partner you can explore healing techniques and safe ways to support your friend through the body and through the way you connect to their body. The movement mediation class is on Wednesday nights in USA and Thursday mornings Sydney. https://dancewithangelahealing.as.me/
In today’s podcast episode, we will be discussing how to fool-proof relationships so they can endure during lock-down.
With any relationship, you will have things that are going to irritate you about the other person. No one is perfect, and no relationship is either. You will have highs and lows during the partnership. For some, it is easier to walk away than to work it out. Anything worth having you have to work at it.
Now, let’s get real, there were many times Patti felt like running away, and that was pretty much my inner and outer struggles, not him. It’s okay to feel this way at times, and it’s alright to take a break to figure things out when needed. It takes two to have a healthy, thriving relationship. In relationships, you have two imperfect people with very different views on what a happy relationship should look like while trying to relate to each other, besides having a different upbringing, love languages, personalities, and values. Gary Chapman wrote a book on the 5 Love Languages.
It’s important to do things together as well. Have a date night at home – dress up, make a special dinner, etc. Sit outside with a glass of wine or beer, coffee or hot chocolate, whatever is your favorite beverage and watch the sunset, go for a walk, watch a TV show or movie together or go for a bike ride, take a drive in the car together to get outside and away from home. For more tips on surviving social isolation, we did a podcast on Episode 15 on this topic.
How are you surviving the lock-down in your relationship?
Are you looking for an activity to connect as a couple? Angela is offering an online Wednesday movement meditation class in the USA at 7:30 pm EST, which is the following day in Sydney, Australia, Thursday, where couples can explore healing touch with their partner to feel heart connection with your partner. It happens right in the comfort of your home over zoom and is excellent for those looking to do an activity that is not just watching Netflix and can break up your routine with something new and a shared activity to enjoy with each other. You can do it with a friend or child over 14 as well.
Individuals can also join in the class and discover how to feel connected to your heart and build your awareness of what love is and how easy it is when you create a supportive environment. https://dancewithangelahealing.as.me/
Some things to consider as you think about your lockdown experience.
❤️ How did you survive it, or how are you still surviving it?
❤️ What have you discovered about your relationship?
❤️ Did you blame yourself, your government, your partner, your children?
We would love to hear your answers to these questions about your lockdown experience and some inspirational relationship stories of how being in lockdown together strengthens your relationship?
Patti and Angela are intending and wishing all the best for your relationships to build stronger, resilient connections that will prosper in these times.
In today’s podcast, we will share some techniques to refocus your energy, which can also help you reset yourself for the year.
What is Physical Self-Healing?
Physical self-healing is learning and creating habits that support you, your body, and your spirit. And recognize and release patterns that are out-dated and need to go, such as workaholic tendencies, wasting your energy, thinking bad about yourself and others, and putting your body’s health last.
Angela’s Tips on Resetting your Physical and Emotional Energy:
Setting an intention for the year to determine your focus for your life. How does the intent take you further than last year? Did you achieve your goals for last year? Why not What would you love to try this year? Is it more or less of what you are doing?
Physical Reset Tips:
1. Shower. And imagine the water washing over you is fresh life energy and white light. Feel that light is releasing the past.
2. Go to the ocean and release old energy.
3. Visualize yourself in a bubble of light to accept who you are just the way you are without attempting to change or be different. Light is used in healing to wash in different vibrations because we are vibrating; from our blood flow to our heartbeat, we are always vibrating. You can even now imagine yourself in a bubble of any color light and notice how it makes you feel.
4. Angela does meditation to walk you through this technique quickly on the podcast. BREATHE. FEEL HEART AND FEEL BREATH and LET GO of OLD and FOCUS ON NEW BREATH. Take a few breaths to refocus your energy.
Ask the following and see what comes to you.
WHAT IS IT YOU WANT FOR YOU?
WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR WORLD?
How to write an affirmation:
*Start with the words I am?
*Use the word or statement in the present tense.
*State it in the positive. Affirm what you want.
*Keep it brief, specific, clear, and straightforward.
*Have a word with (ing)
*Include at least one dynamic emotion or feeling word.
*Make the affirmation, so it resonates with you!
Affirmation: I am resetting my focus on my dreams!
Patti gave this example: Someone that works all the time and has little attention or focus on their body or health.
Reflection questions:
*What are the benefits of leaving work on time?
*What actions will you put in place to leave work on time?
*How will you use this extra time to focus on a healthy lifestyle?
Patti’s 21 Days to Optimal Work/Life Balance Program with its reflection questions helps open your mind to a new way of looking at what you want in life. It resets your mindset as well as physical reset with some of the topics. There are affirmations in the program, and Patti made companion affirmation cards for support and inspiration to keep you on track.
My journal is what I want it to be, what I need it to be, each time I open it and put my pen to the page. This is what a journal is meant to be. ~ Plynn Gutman, Your Journal Companion 365 Writing Prompts to Heighten Awareness of Self and Others
(Patti) Plynn makes the journaling process easy with an entire year’s worth of thought-provoking writing prompts. She explains the emotional and physiological benefits of personal writing gives instruction on several powerful writing techniques and offers tips on “how, where, and when” to start the process.
(Patti) In that presentation, Plynn made journaling fun, easy, and relaxing. We did a few different journaling techniques with her, and I have been hooked on journaling ever since.
(Angela) I started journaling when I was 12 yrs old. At an age where I had very raw feelings, I discovered that I couldn’t put them anywhere; I could put them in my journal. This was in the 80s. For some reason, at school, my teacher had introduced that concept of a journal instead of a diary. And she taught us that a journal was where you could explore writing, but not writing for others, writing for yourself. And being a socially awkward kid who felt I didn’t belong, I found it the perfect place to write my feelings. I also felt my English teacher – Mrs. Casey, was permitting me to dispose of feelings that I didn’t want to share publicly.
(Angela) Later on, Mrs. Casey read our journals, which were part of our English work, and I wasn’t afraid of her reading my journal. And her encouragement to keep writing was key to me continuing the process of having a private space to dive into myself, my feelings, my creative thoughts, ideas, and the not so great stuff too, or my shadow. I always remember that time at school as a clear moment my teacher was giving me a way out of feeling uncomfortable in myself, and gently encouraged me to write out my feelings so that they had a safe space to be heard.
(Angela) After Mrs. Casey read my first journal, I kept my journals private, and they have been a constant resource for me to write my thoughts, ideas, and later in life, my realizations from my soul and my meditation practice.
(Angela) I often wonder what would have happened if I didn’t have that first year of writing encouraged by a teacher. Would I have written anyway? I don’t know.
(Angela) I do know that the habit of using a journal started very young for me and has saved my relationships by giving me a space to write my feelings, see my feelings and not project my feelings on others because my priority of journaling gave me the habit of writing my feelings in an attempt to externalize them, to try to understand them and this developed to a deeper level the most important relationship, the relationship with myself by writing my feelings and reading them, and developing an ongoing relationship with myself so that I could understand my feelings.
(Angela) To this day – I can go back and read some of the old journals, and still discover things about myself. Some things have stayed constant over time, and some things have changed so significantly, and that has helped me learn the power of recording and watching my journey in life through journaling.
(Patti) When I was probably about 9 to 10 years old, my Mom or Grandmother gave me a diary that had a lock and key. I wonder what happened to it. It would have been fun to read what I wrote in it today.
(Angela) Patti – I have a question: When you discovered the power of journaling with Plynn – How did you start using it in your life and relationships?
(Patti) Great question Angela, journaling was new to me. It opened up so many things for me. Instead of verbally sharing my feelings and emotions on someone else I started using journaling. This helped me not project my anger or judgment on others. Plynn’s book and app have daily journaling prompts, which helped me get into the habit of journaling. She made it easy to want to journal. Then I moved on to journaling on my own. When upset or needed to brain dump or brainstorm for solutions to problems, I would journal whether in a relationship or feelings that needed to be released. These are private thoughts that I was feeling at that moment. Sometimes I would burn or shred what I wrote. I also keep an idea journal, career journal, and a scattered journal. A scatter journal is a journal that I put random thoughts in. My made-up word for the scattered journal. I watched a documentary that Agatha Christie would write down ideas all over the place in journals.
(Patti) What are some of the biggest challenges in starting to journal?
Finding time?
Getting started?
Or not knowing how?
(Patti) Choose a time to journal daily. It can be when you get up in the morning, on your lunchtime, or before going to sleep. You may want to use journaling prompts or self-reflect about your day. Journaling can open up your mind to change and inspire you to pursue your dreams, aspirations, and goals. It allows you to alter your thoughts, which block you. Find someplace peaceful, quiet that you can think and write.
(Patti) When the weather’s nice, I like to journal outside on my patio. Some of my best journaling experiences are when on vacation or camping. Being outdoors is very refreshing. Schedule journaling time and be consistent. You can journal anywhere.
Some of my best journaling experiences are when on vacation or camping. Being outdoors is very refreshing. Schedule journaling time and be consistent. You can journal anywhere. ~ Patti Oskvarek, Leadership and Work-Life Balance Coach
(Patti) What do you need for journaling?
Pen and Paper or
A notebook or journal or
There are journal apps or
Journaling Prompts on Pinterest, Writing Coaches Websites, etc.
(Angela) Tip: You can choose a time of day that suits your journal’s focus and the best way to maximize your consciousness.
(Angela) The morning is good for setting your intent and energy for the day.
(Angela) The night before sleep is good for reviewing problems, patterns, and whether you achieved your goal for the day, or if you set an intention for your relationships to be calm in the morning, in the evening, you can review – How did this go?
(Angela) I sometimes set myself a journal exercise, for example at noon to review my feelings, so I set the alarm and check in with my feelings at noon and write.
(Angela) What time of day do you naturally feel like looking inward? If you don’t have a habit of looking inward, you can start by setting a time to focus on one question. Write on it – and then after one week of journaling, ask yourself, was this the best time for me to journal? If not, ask yourself what a better time to journal is. Sometimes we create obstacles to journaling because you’re trying to write at the wrong time of day that is the best time of day to connect with yourself and your intuition. I have clients who have resistance to journaling, and sometimes it’s because they are writing at the wrong time of the day or week.
(Angela) If you are not really convinced that journaling can change you in a way that brings outer world success, you can measure this success. When you journal over time, you can watch the change in your connection to your inner world, which changes the way you act or behave in your relationships.
(Angela) Journaling over a period of time with gradual and consistent practice brings deep change. It’s like water dripping on a rock over time. You get this beautiful shape formed by the water constantly moving through the rock.
(Angela) Patti has some specific questions to answer in your journal about relationships which could start to change the way you understand yourself and your relationships. And these questions you can come back to over time to build an ongoing relationship with yourself. This is how coaches use questions to write answers to develop self-knowledge and deepen your relationship with yourself.
(Patti) Here is some Journaling prompts to deepen and save your relationships: Most of these prompts can be used with any relationship type—friendship, romantic, family, or work.
Describe what you want in the relationship?
Describe what you don’t want in the relationship?
What is the relationship like at the moment?
What is working well in the relationship?
What one thing can you do to make the relationship better and more of what you want it to be?
What does love mean to you?
What does love mean to your partner?
What is meaningful about the relationship?
What are some of your expectations for the relationship?
What is meaningful about your relationship?
(Angela) Number 6 – What does love mean to you that could be a whole book for one person!
(Angela) Questions from a coach can make journaling a lot more structured for anyone unsure where to start when it comes to your relationships. We’ll have those questions in the show notes.
(Angela) And the beauty of a question like number 6 – What does love mean to you – you can keep writing on this topic for many years.
(Angela) I want to invite listeners if there is anything that persistently bugs you – like – why do people act the way they do, why are people unkind – these are great topics to start writing on. I used to write on desire because I was obsessed with understanding why do we want things? Why do we want a person, why do we want an experience in life – and this was a large part of what I wrote on – to understand what I was curious about in the human condition.
(Angela) Curiosity is something that journaling can help you discover more and feed into your relationships.
(Angela) If you have a love relationship that has gotten stale, often there is a deeper need to understand something.
(Angela) It’s very easy to complain about your partner, being ‘not this or not that.’
(Angela) But how often do you get curious about how your partner thinks, why they do the things they do – and also what inspires them.
(Angela) When you journal on questions like:
(Angela) 10 What is meaningful about your relationship?
(Angela) You can start to share deeper things with your partner.
(Angela) That question Patti reminds me about another topic we want to have as a podcast – Can you say I love you? I find people are so unaware of what is the meaning of a relationship – and don’t know how to say “I love you” because they never had the time to contemplate what is the significance of a person to them – or Why a relationship has meaning and value for them. This is why coaching is so valuable – We give clients these value-based questions to help them find meaningful information.
(Angela) And you can always use these questions to go deeper with yourself in the writing process. When you find deeper meaning in your relationship, you can value it and look at it differently instead of getting stuck on what the blocks in the relationship will be. If you don’t know what is meaningful in a relationship, you can’t save the relationship because you don’t know why you want the relationship.
If you don’t know what is meaningful in a relationship, you can’t save the relationship because you don’t know why you want the relationship. ~ Angela Ambrosia, Love and Relationship Coach
(Patti) Journal even when you are feeling disengaged, upset, disappointed, or confused about your relationship, this can be one of the best times to reflect on the relationship situation and get out every ugly thing that has been left unsaid.
(Patti) Journal about happy times in your relationships and refer back to those moments to remind you why you love that person. Create happy moments or gratitude journals.
(Patti) Why is this good for relationships?
(Patti) When you journal about your feelings, you are not taking those emotions out on others. It lets you brain dump and removes all toxic thoughts. Once those emotions and thoughts have been exhaled you can move into rational solutions.
(Angela) Some questions on feelings when you get to a block in a relationship, or your feelings are hurt or coming up.
What am I feeling?
Why am I feeling this?
Is this my feeling – or am I picking up someone else’s feelings?
(Angela) Sometimes, especially if you are an emotional or sensitive person, you get lost in a feeling thinking it is yours, but in relationships, we also are feeling and impacted by the feelings of those we are in a relationship with especially close loved ones, children, parents, lovers, and friends. And even co-workers or neighbors have a deep impact on us especially if we are around them regularly.
(Angela) Patti, Have did you use journaling to save relationships in the work environment?
(Patti) Yes, I had a work journal. I used it to problem solve, work out issues, and emotions. I also gave my staff at the time a work journal. Some used the journal, and some did not. It was their personal choice whether to use it or not. Dumping your thoughts into the work journal helped in so many ways, instead of projecting emotions on others. It gave time to self-reflect instead of a knee-jerk reaction to a solution or problem. I wish I used it more than I did. It could have changed outcomes for the better. Daily work interactions are very much learning experiences when working with others. There are different points of view and work backgrounds. Reflecting on the situation through journaling gives you a new perspective of maybe I could do it differently with a better result.
(Angela) Patti, How did you use journaling to problem solve and brainstorm at work?
(Patti) When something comes up that I need to figure out, pulling out the journal helps make lists of how to solve the problem or situation by brainstorming solutions or ideas to develop different ways to tackle issues or communicate with others. Then brainstorm with others the ideas you’ve come up with. So when I brainstorm, I freestyle the process with no editing. When you edit while you write, your critic’s brain comes out, and you use the flow of ideas. No idea is a bad idea when in the brainstorming process. Working with others in a group journaling on the whiteboard ideas is an excellent way to come with something you wouldn’t think of. Working as a team and journaling is a way to throw out ideas towards solutions. Ask a question to the team and have them journal for solutions. I’ve seen great ideas come up when doing this. Individuals have private time to think and then feel comfortable sharing ideas when they feel safe. People need to feel that they won’t be criticized or reprimanded for their ideas for people to share.
(Angela) Tip: I have recently reviewed some journals where I did a dump of some quite dark emotions. On the one hand, it was good to see that I no longer feel that way. However, I also burned some of the old journals that I felt were no longer me, and the words or feelings in the journal were not something I want to keep. I tore out a few pages, and a few whole journals went into the fire. Sometimes, the writing isn’t necessary to stay forever; sometimes, the writing is to be kept to remind you in your future of where you came from, and how different or connected that is to where you are now.
(Angela) So if you have something that is particularly dark – you can always burn it, which releases the energy.
(Angela) And if you burn something and later think – oh, I wish I hadn’t destroyed it – you can always make a quiet time, sit and think. What was the relevance of what I wrote to what I am moving through now in my life?
(Angela) The significance of what you wrote will still be inside you somewhere, even if your words are not the same. The meaning and feeling will be accessible, and you can connect to it, and journal on the significance of that past piece of journaling.
(Patti) I find that journaling is good for you in so many ways. If there is something, you never want to be seen by others, destroy it by burning or shredding it. Those are your personal thoughts in time, and it is an excellent way to release them. Keep your journals in a secure private place. There are journal apps, and you can make a secure password-protected document on your computer for journaling as well.
(Angela) Try out journaling and let us know if it has made a positive difference in your relationships with others.
(Patti) If you have a topic or a question for us, please leave us a comment or voice message on the Anchor App. You can also listen to this podcast on most major podcast listening platforms like Apple and Spotify.
Do you enjoy our podcasts? If so, What about becoming a supporter.
DISCLOSURE: Please be aware that Angela and Patti may be sharing affiliate links in this podcast/post. Please know that we only ever share products and services that we use or have used ourselves and found great value.
We are concerned about how social media can cause hurt feelings, depression, addiction to social media, and comparison.
Here are some reflection questions:
❤️ What makes people feel it’s okay to post things that they would most likely never say face to face or outside of social media?
❤️ Where does this boldness or insensitivity come from?
❤️ Is proving your point worth all the drama and losing friendships over?
Today, we would like to explore how to manage some of those difficult behaviors. ❤️ How do we relate to social media in a healthy way? ❤️ Are you taking a break from social media because it is “too toxic?”
What do you find frustrating about social media, what makes it so toxic to you? We love to hear from listeners if they could share what they find disappointing about social media, why not leave us a comment.
Question to the Listeners: ❤️ What are some of the things you ENJOY seeing on social media. Share in a comment and let us know.
Angela: I love healing meditations and I share those because I love them.
Patti: I love seeing photos of families having fun together, vacation photos, travel adventures and cute positive memes.
In a previous podcast (Episode 4) we discussed going Beyond Comparison and Accepting One Self. “Cancel culture refers to the popular practice of withdrawing support for (canceling) public figures and companies after they have done or said something considered objectionable or offensive.
Patti wrote a blog posts similar to this subject called Don’t Be That Guy! It is about shaming someone or making them the poster child in the workplace. When someone has committed a bad behavior or done something procedurally wrong, in some organizations, they use this term “Don’t be that (Guy) Person” for humiliation or an example of what not to do. I feel this is similar to the cancel culture. In the blog post is a poll. With this question – Is shaming an effective management strategy?
Angela will be holding gentle movement classes Come September and to be informed SIGN UP TO HEAR ABOUT CLASSES in the link in the show notes. For me dance and movement are an authentic way to connect to myself and others. https://bit.ly/3fI6EpQ
Thank you for listening and supporting our podcast. We would love to hear from you about this topic. Leave us a comment or voice message on Anchor.
Become a monthly supporter of Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela and Patti a podcast.Click on the support button in the Anchor App. “By supporting Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela and Patti podcasts through donations this will help sustain future episodes. Thank you for listening and sharing. 🙂 ”
Patti discusses establishing a work schedule to help you move into a flow and getting things done; working from home can be challenging, especially when the family doesn’t understand your work demands, work obligations, or time constraints with deadlines.
Patti: Established set work hours and communicating them to family and friends. Here are the hours and days I am working this week. Another way to communicate is to post your calendar/diary on the wall/door or give family viewable access to your digital schedule that reflects availability. Another approach you can make a daily or weekly calendar post in view (maybe kitchen) or text your unavailability for that day to the whole family. There are lots of creative ways to communicate you are working and unavailable. Sit down as a family and ask them how they want you to let them know. This way, everyone is part of the decision making. Do you want a daily text or a do not disturb sign on the door?
Angela said, I found the sign really official and makes it clear for others not to knock. In my building I used to live in, we had a lot of traffic going past my front door. People who delivered parcels would knock on the front door, which would be picked up on my calls or recordings. However, the worst thing about knocking on the front door was when I was doing meditation. Sounds and knocks during meditation can actually be dangerous to your body if you are in deep meditation and give you a heart attack. That forced me to make a sign to post on my front door, “please don’t knock, meditation in progress, if possible leave parcels.” The sign also allowed some people in the building the idea to be quiet when passing the front door too (if they read the sign!) I’m going to use another sign to the door in my office at home to be really clear about meditation time or when I’m recording, as people may have no idea what you are doing in the office and the sign makes people more aware about the noise.
Angela: When working at home with family these days, it is really valuable to look at your physical workspace. Do you have a space that’s appropriate to do your work? Do your kids have a space that’s appropriate to focus on learning? And space is not just physical like a desk; it includes sound and light. I’ve seen a lot of people being really creative with working at the kitchen bench, buying a fold away desk for the bedroom, and other bits of furniture like a screen or divider to section off spaces in the house or to create workspaces.
Sometimes, you won’t be able to really have a work space that is quiet, and people are more forgiving in these times if they hear kids and the kitchen in the background, but how does this affect you?
Are there changes you need to make without necessarily spending a lot of money, but perhaps using your house differently?
What could be something that gives you flow naturally that you need to put in your schedule to help you flow with the changes that we are now facing?
For Angela it’s definitely movement and I will be sharing some of the results of my movement classes in the coming months as I plan to share these classes for more people to discover their own natural rhythm.
You can stay in touch with Angela’s gentle movement classes by signing up to the newsletter.
Become a monthly supporter of Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela and Patti a podcast.Click on the support button in the Anchor App. By supporting Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela and Patti podcasts through donations this will help sustain future episodes.
Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela and Patti Podcast Episode 21- Lack of Communication and Overworked! Click on the link below to listen to the full podcast episode.
In this episode, we shared about improving communication with your boss and not overworking yourself while working from home. With a lot of people working from home lately due to the virus, some find themselves working even more hours.
How do you find balance?
This is a period of change in the way we work, and it doesn’t look like it is going to go back to the way it is – so more change is coming. One of the challenges I hear about is people are working from home and taking care of their children at the same time since daycare services and schools are still closed. They have become the teacher, playtime instructor, nap time enforcer, lunch, and break time scheduler, all while trying to work at home.
Because of the suddenness of the change, many of us have been expected to do extra work without extra pay or support, and there has been little time to talk about the conflicting expectations or changes and how they require extra thought and extra time to implement the changes.
What are some examples that you have seen?
Time management skills and learning what is expected from the boss while working from home. Setting boundaries with the family while working how to do it all and keep everyone calm, productive, and sane.
A routine is good.
Getting up at the same time you would if going into work, eating breakfast as a family, everyone getting dressed, and starting their day. By having a routine, everyone knows what they are supposed to do and are able to get things done. School work, zoom calls, projects, breaks, lunches and dinner, free time and nap time. One of the extra duties is learning how to move things online and deal with new technology or platforms, and this includes changing how we present and share information.
Now we have an opportunity to create a new normal to deal with change. When there are things that require extra thought and extra time, how do you approach your boss, co-workers, or those you work with?
Are you problem focused or solution-focused?
Often when things change suddenly, we focus on not being able to do what we used to do, and this stops us from speaking up about our needs. I’ve noticed people harboring resentments with superiors or employers because they feel they can’t speak up because there is so much change, and they just need to deal with it. But often, a business or employer will also be struggling with the change. If you can respectfully share what you see as not working and what you see as a solution to that lack – then it clarifies for everyone what are possible solutions. And it may spark others to come up with other solutions, including your employer. Avoid the trap of staying quiet because everyone is just trying to deal with the change, but share your ideas respectfully without making people wrong.
Angela is looking for feedback on relationship needs people have in these times of change.
Have people changed their needs and experiences of relationships?
Become a monthly supporter of Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela and Patti a podcast.Click on the support button in the Anchor App. “By supporting Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela and Patti podcasts through donations this will help sustain future episodes. Thank you for listening and sharing. 🙂 ”
Angela tell us a little bit about the podcast title and Bending Your Knees?
We thought about this topic a while back, but I really thought about it when I had trouble bending my knees after recovering from surgery. It was a shock after being flexible most of life I couldn’t bend the knees easily. Everything about surgery was a shock – but also in recovery, I experienced a lot of feelings not being able to be like I used to be, and there was fear about the future and uncertainty about who I was going to become now.
Midlife-is an important time to look at your life and see what you are not able to do. Not so that you pine about “being old” or look at the past as something that you’ve lost – although you may have a period of grieving.
After grieving or during grieving it’s important and valuable to take stock, reflect on what results of your life thus far?
How do you feel about your life?
If you reflect on your life constructively, it will help get you out of the cycle of thinking and feeling you have lost something or that your life has amounted to nothing. And will help you start to REALLY see –
❤️ What is your life about?
What was the purpose of all that running around, learning, working, not working, having kids, being sick, being healthy – etc. –
❤️ What was it all for? Bending the knee reflects flexibility – and humility. In my case, I had setbacks – such as getting a little better than getting sick or weak again. What that taught me is to do things differently to go with my needs and energy better. Mid-life is a great time to realize, there is only so much you can do – so how can you do it better, with less energy – and less ego about how you look, how young you are – it’s also a time to measure what success for you is? Is success about how much money you have? Or is it how happy you are?
Patti tells us about – What have you found stops people embracing the possibility of change in mid-life?
I have spoken to a lot of people who feel they are stuck in a dead-end job. When Sunday comes around, they dread thinking about going into work the next morning. On Monday mornings, they hit the snooze button multiple times and force themselves out of bed. On the way to work, they push themselves with positive affirmations or the opposite with “I hate my job” self-talk.
🦋 Do you feel like you could do your job in your sleep?
🦋 Are there no advancement opportunities where you work?
🦋 Do you feel hateful and resentful when you walk through your workplace?
🦋 Do you get any acknowledgment for a job well done?
🦋 Am I learning any new aspects of my position?
🦋 Are my job duties challenging to me?
🦋 Do I enjoy going to work every day?
🦋 Am I motivated and strive to increase my productivity level?
🦋 Do I feel I am making a difference?
🦋 Are my coworkers positive at work?
🦋 Am I positive at work?
If you answered no to these questions, you may be feeling stuck in a dead-end job.
What are some options to improve the career situation?
Use daily affirmations to get you through the day. Patti created some work-life balance affirmation cards, these cards are good to use for any day in and day out work or home situations.
Angela and I would like to thank you for following and supporting our podcast!
Become a monthly supporter of Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela and Patti a podcast.Click on the support button in the Anchor App. “By supporting Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela and Patti podcasts through donations this will help sustain future episodes. Thank you for listening and sharing. 🙂 ”
In this episode, Angela and Patti discuss – Just Be – Go Beyond Social Expectations that Influence Suicide. We feel this topic needs to be discussed openly and not avoided because it is uncomfortable. Lives matter. To listen to the full podcast episode click below:
How did we get this topic title?
Angela and I were talking about how there has been an increase in suicide. Over the years, and how the current situation with isolation and other factors. Such as loss of a job can be a risk factor.
Alcohol and other substance use disorders Mental disorders, particularly mood disorders, schizophrenia, anxiety disorders, and certain personality disorders Hopelessness, feelings of no reason to live Depression Impulsive and/or aggressive tendencies History of trauma or abuse Major physical illnesses Previous suicide attempt(s) Family history of suicide – Angela talks about breaking the chain of generational loss and hurt – How to do that. Job or financial loss Loss of relationship(s) Easy access to lethal means Lack of social support, isolation and social withdrawal The stigma associated with asking for help Lack of healthcare, especially mental health and substance abuse treatment Exposure to others who have died by suicide (in real life or via the media and Internet)
The Warning Signs provided by the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline website; Talking about wanting to die or to kill themselves, communicating suicide intent or plan Looking for a way to kill themselves, like searching online or buying a gun Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live Talking about feeling trapped or in unbearable pain Talking about being a burden to others Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly Sleeping too little or too much Withdrawing or isolating themselves Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge Extreme mood swings Making final arrangements (wills, notes, giving away personal things, etc.
Angela will be speaking at the online Lasting Love Summit click on the link to register to attend the free summit. The summit is the week of May 5, 2020.
Angela and I would like to thank you for listening and supporting this podcast.
Become a monthly supporter of Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela and Patti a podcast.Click on the support button in the Anchor App. “By supporting Building Better Relationships at Home and Work with Angela and Patti podcasts through donations this will help sustain future episodes. Thank you for listening and sharing. 🙂 ”
