Posted in Blog, Personal Inspiration

Making Good Life Choices

My husband Tom and I were recently at a local restaurant sitting in the bar area eating pizza and wings. I heard one of the staff members say to another employee (Jake, not his real name) as she was leaving for the night, “Please make good choices.”

“Please make good choices.”

 

I thought, wow, why would she say that to Jake, her co-worker, and friend. Then I remember Jake talked to Tom and me about his family and a woman he has been long distant from communicating with from his home state. Jake is a single parent raising two small children. Then I realized why Jake’s co-worker was a little worried about him. He was thinking about packing up and moving back to his home state with his old acquaintance.

A few years ago, a childhood friend said people change; I am not the same person I used to be.

People do change as they move through life journeys.

“I am not the same person I used to be.”

 

Is this person the same person you fell for all those years ago? Some would say yes, and some would say no. I believe people do change. Interests change, goals in life change, careers, relationships, and tragic circumstances change us, and yes, bad stuff happens that makes us view the world differently than we did before.

“I believe people do change.  Interests change, goals in life change, careers, relationships and tragic circumstances change us and yes, bad stuff happens that make us view the world in a differently than we did before.”

 

The only way you get to know someone is to be with them through the good, the bad, and the ugly. I am not the same person I was when I was younger. I was really shy with a kind heart. When I went to a celebration of life recently and met up with old childhood friends, I realized that. I had changed through the years, and so had they.
Only Jake can make the best decision for him. Hopefully, he gets to know this lady before he packs up his family and moves. Some would say take a chance on love, and others would say only a fool rushes in. We don’t want to live with regrets or should of’s; however, we need to weigh the possible outcomes.

Relationships take time. Getting to know a genuine person isn’t something that happens overnight. It takes spending quality time with someone, going through struggles and having fun together, and learning to communicate about the hard stuff instead of avoiding it. Taking the time to figure out if this is the right person for me, and I can’t live without them. ~ Patti

What would you do if you were Jake?

Would you take a chance on love and move or take the time to get to really know the person? 

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Posted in Blog, Podcasts

Episode 44 – Accepting Responsibility for Choices in Your Relationships – The Good, the Bad and the Narcissist!

In this podcast episode, Angela and Patti discuss taking responsibility for your choices.

Click here to listen.

It’s becoming common now that people are starting to label and blame the end of a relationship on their former partner. Instead of taking responsibility for their choices within the relationship and the other person, they were a narcissist. Is it easier to blame everything on the other person instead of self-reflecting on what went wrong within the relationship?

What did you learn?

What will you look for before entering into a relationship next time?

What do you want from a relationship?

What are the deal breakers?

Angela talks about the book  Brain Wash by David Perlmutter. He has many studies showing that narcissistic behaviors are connected to the generations that use more social media. So that could make it easier for people to blame people for selfish behavior because it is a typical cultural attitude.

When self-reflecting, ask these questions to yourself:

*What did I learn?

*What will I look for before entering into a relationship next time?

*What do I want from a relationship?

*What are the deal breakers for me?

Patti wrote blog posts about Making Good Choices and A Workplace Phenomenon – the Narcissistic Manager.

Angela speaks about dance and meditation. Dance is about feeling yourself. Meditation is about seeing yourself. Both dance and meditation help you to look inward – not outward. Want to Dance with Angela?

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Thank you so much for listening.

#podcast #betterrelationships #betterrelationshipathomeandwork #anchorpodcast #AcceptingResponsibility #Choices #BuildingBetterRelationships

DISCLOSURE: Please be aware that Angela and Patti may be sharing affiliate links in this podcast/post. Please know that we only ever share products and services that we use or have used ourselves and found great value.

Posted in Blog, Business Inspiration, Leadership Inspiration, Personal Inspiration

Having Integrity at Work

shutterstock_434662855 ~ Lead by Example

Definition of Work Integrity:

According to the BusinessDictionary the definition of Integrity means the following:

1. Strict adherence to a moral code, reflected in transparent honesty and complete harmony in what one thinks, says, and does.
2. State of a system where it is performing its intended functions without being degraded or impaired by changes or disruptions in its internal or external environments.
3. Stored or transmitted data that is free from any unauthorized change. See also data integrity.

Characteristics of Having Integrity:

  • Staying true to your word.  Keeping obligations and promises to others such as employer, staff and customers.
  • Commit and attend your scheduled appointments and meetings on time.
  • Doing the right thing even when no one is watching.
  • Make a mistake own up to it, apologize and don’t blame others, take responsibility and be accountable for your actions.
  • Give credit where credit is due.
  • Do not associate with people who lack work integrity.
  • Lead by being a good example.  Everyone is observing your choices whether they are good or bad.

Characteristics with Lack of Integrity:

  • Coming to work late, leaving early, calling in sick when you are not really sick, taking longer breaks and lunches.  Creating excuses for this behavior which is taking advantage of your employer, supervisor and co-workers.
  • Having your co-workers cover for you because you are doing personal stuff such as; surfing the web, making personal phone calls and/or texting instead of working.
  • Not following policies and procedures.  Taking short cuts which cause errors and produce customers complaints.
  • Blaming others instead of taking responsibility for your actions.

Integrity is being honest with others and yourself.  Doing what is right even when no one is watching.  Staying true to your word and actions.  Facing the consequences for your decisions and choices.

As a leader, integrity is so important to being a good leader.  With integrity there is no covering up, no guilt, no shame or second guessing what is right or wrong.  Reflect on the choices you make.  If you make a mistake own up to it and learn from that mistake.  Everyone falls down sometimes.  Apologize and fix it.  Strive to lead by being a good example in all aspects of your life.  By having integrity these are the keys to ultimate success.

 Self-Reflection Questions

What does integrity mean to you?

What is the importance of having integrity?

Do you think it is acceptable to be right on the edge of right and wrong and still have integrity? Why or why not?

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Comments are always welcome and please share this post with your colleagues, friends, family and on your social networks!

Posted in Blog, Business Inspiration, Leadership Inspiration

Micro-Manage or Not to Mirco-Manage

Manager Yelling in the Phone

What is the definition of micro-management? It means a manager’s management style who closely observes or controls subordinates’ work and manages excessive control and attention to detail. The manager lacks trust, is never quite satisfied, enjoys finding errors in others’ work, and wants to control all the decision-making. Micromanagement usually has a negative effect in the workplace.

This topic has a lot of different opinions and viewpoints. Here is my perspective; there may be times as a Leader you will have to utilize micro-managing aspects with a staff member.

Possible reasons of when to use some aspects of micro-management positively: 

You need to review employees’ workflow, time management, work performances, and when an employee is experiencing a lack of motivation and focus with tasks or is just plain struggling with work performance. When this occurs, assist the employee through coaching and give additional training and feedback, including an action plan to help them succeed.

The choice is up to the employee if they want to succeed by accepting the coaching, training, and action plan. The leader can provide the guidance and tools; however, it is truly up to the employee to be open to success through listening, asking additional questions, and being accountable for their career. The employee needs to take responsibility for their mistakes and correct them by learning from those mistakes and doing it right.

Possible situations for constructive feedback, review of performance, coaching tips, and additional training:

  • A new employee
  • A new project or implementation of procedures
  • A high profile case
  • Highly confidential material or circumstance
  • An employee is making continual mistakes
  • An employee not understanding how to accomplish the task

When to prepare a corrective action plan including scheduled dates and times to meet with the employee to review their work performance:

  • An employee is not meeting the minimum standards
  • An employee is not following policies and procedures
  • An employee is not following security and safety guidelines

A good leader knows when to use some elements of micro-managing and when not to micro-manage their employees. Knowledgeable employees, understand the expectation, accomplish their goals, have a good work ethic, and do a good job should not be micro-managed. A good leader is part of the solution through open, honest dialog with good suggestions on improving their work performance and meeting their goals. ~ Patti

Become a Better Leader [e-Book] Click here to download your copy.

Comments are always welcome and please share this post with your colleagues, friends, family and on your social networks!

Posted in Blog, Business Inspiration, Leadership Inspiration

Making difficult choices as a Manager or Supervisor

There are many days when a Supervisor has to make difficult choices. These choices can cause upheaval in the workplace. When making difficult decisions, sit down and reflect on how this change will affect your business, clients, team members, or work area. Write out a list of why this is a good idea and the pros and the cons.

Ask yourself the following questions:

How will I implement it?

How will I deliver the news?

How will I explain my decision and why?

Who is going to take on the change and make sure it succeeds?

What is going to be needed to make this work?

By spending some time reflecting on the decision, will give you the confidence you need to implement a plan of action. With a plan of action, you are more likely to succeed. You will be prepared to handle questions and concerns, which will help make the transition much smoother. ~ Patti