Tag: conflict

In today’s blog post I am going to tell a story about getting upset over a situation which may sound ridiculous.

Recently, I was at the bowling alley.  I get to the bowling alley pretty early to reserve a table and chairs for my team. Tables are precious commodity because there are not enough tables for all the bowling teams.  If you don’t get a table your team has to sit down on the lanes or stand up all night.

Past experience:

I’ve had people actually move my stuff off the table or take chairs if I walked away.  Now, when I get a table I feel I can’t even walk away until one of my bowling team members comes and sits down.

Usually, I am pretty easy-going and don’t confront people on their rude behaviors.  But this particular day I had enough and said something.

My version of what happened:

This guy (I will call him Fred) from another bowling team grabbed one of the chairs at my table and move it so his daughter could sit down and Fred put her right in front of our table.  He didn’t say anything to me just grabbed the chair.  If Fred had asked me I would have said sure she can have the chair and go get another chair.

Here are the thoughts that were going in my head:

I get there an hour and a half early to reserve the table and chairs and Fred walks in 15 minutes before bowling starts and acts like he owns the place.

So I said to Fred you need to get me another chair.  He said ma’am you are being rude just take another chair from the table next to you.  Then one of his team members says to me “you already have 6 chairs”.  I had 5 chairs for the 5 team members on my team.  I wasn’t going to take one from another reserved table.

Then Fred commanded his daughter to grab a chair from the table next to me which another team had been saving almost as long as me.   His daughter didn’t want to do it.  But Fred insisted and she did.

I was so angry.  Usually, I wouldn’t have been mad or even said anything but his attitude and arrogance reeked of “I don’t care” and “I am going to do what I want”.  No consideration at all to others.

So I told (Chuck, not real name) on another team what happened and Fred said “quit talking behind my back the chair was for my daughter”.  This made Chuck very uncomfortable, he got up and said I don’t know what to tell you, talk to the league secretary.  Later, I found out Fred and Chuck are sort of friends.  (Awkward!).  The reason I told Chuck is because he was there early just like me and has had similar things happen with his tables.

Feeling embarrassed and betrayed I did a group text to my bowling team about the chair incident.  This foolish chair escapade had me upset all night, needless to say I didn’t bowl good, however Fred did.

At the end of the bowling night one of my team members (Seth, not real name) went and spoke with Fred.  Fred told Seth that he had a rough day and he was just getting the chair for his daughter.  Seth said to Fred if you asked her she would have gladly given you the chair.

Why do we get so upset over the little things and continue not to let it go?

Yes, I should have probably handled the situation in a totally different way but I didn’t.  Yes, I probably shouldn’t have gotten other people involved, but I did.

Was it ridiculous to get upset over a chair?

Maybe, however the small things will continue to add up into bigger things when the issue is not resolved.

Takeaway:

We all make choices whether good or bad throughout life.  Each day is a learning lesson.  Sometimes not saying anything is the best result.  Maybe the less we respond to rude people, the less drama we create in our lives.  Here is a good reminder. You may never know what someone else is going through and just maybe they’re having a really bad day.  Be kind anyways. ~ Patti 🦋

🦋 My question for you 🦋

 How would you have handled this situation?

 

Comments are always welcome.  

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